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How to find a FB .....

nucking_futs

By nucking_futs
in Infidelity

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PrettyEmily77 Established Member

PrettyEmily77

Posted
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I kinda want a variety... I would like to see 10 women once than 1 ten times. I dont want to get to know them. relate to them, hear their stories... just when two consenting adults wan to stamp one out and move on

 

Has this revelation come to you before or after saying your vows?

 

I don't know man, seems like you're already set to do whatever you want to. That's your choice, obviously - give your wife the same courtesy (you know, for better or worse and stuff...).

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nucking_futs Member

nucking_futs

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Has this revelation come to you before or after saying your vows?

 

I don't know man, seems like you're already set to do whatever you want to. That's your choice, obviously - give your wife the same courtesy (you know, for better or worse and stuff...).

 

Sure no problem, you people think that if you try to make me think of her with someone else, I am going to say "oh wait , I could not stand for that to happen" she has been with other people before me and maybe after for all I know... I really do not care as long as it does not disrupt family....

 

 

You see that's the problem... women think emotionally.... I just want some strange, I still want the wife... and as another poster put it, in some cultures this works so dont act like I'm some sort of monster.

PrettyEmily77 Established Member

PrettyEmily77

Posted
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Sure no problem, you people think that if you try to make me think of her with someone else, I am going to say "oh wait , I could not stand for that to happen" she has been with other people before me and maybe after for all I know... I really do not care as long as it does not disrupt family....

 

 

You see that's the problem... women think emotionally.... I just want some strange, I still want the wife... and as another poster put it, in some cultures this works so dont act like I'm some sort of monster.

 

Whatever, man. It's your life.

 

Something tells me that if you're here posting about it instead of actually doing it, you know something's a little off with that plan of yours. You're asking people how to cheat on your wife and were already given plenty of suggestions. Justifying sleeping around behind your wife's back is on you, though.

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elaine567 Established Member

elaine567

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If you are just looking for sex, and your wife does not care, just hire an escort.

 

I do not think we have established his wife doesn't care.

I have a feeling she would care a lot if she knew.

AMJ Established Member

AMJ

Posted
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Something tells me that if you're here posting about it instead of actually doing it, you know something's a little off with that plan of yours. You're asking people how to cheat on your wife and were already given plenty of suggestions. Justifying sleeping around behind your wife's back is on you, though.

 

If you really wanted to do it, you would have already. It's not difficult to find casual sex. You're posting here for another reason, and I'm not sure what that is?

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stillafool Established Member

stillafool

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If you are just looking for sex, and your wife does not care, just hire an escort.

 

Anything other than the above is going to break up your marriage. If you get an OW she will eventually fall for you, you for her, and she may end up telling your wife.

ShatteredLady Established Member

ShatteredLady

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Are you the guy who doesn't like your wife staying friends with her suicidal friend that you had an affair with? You went back & forth on your wants, thoughts & feelings then. Are you sure this isn't midlife crisis?

 

Sorry if I've got you muddled with another member.

privategal Established Member

privategal

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Trust me...just be open...we are roomates and staying married works for us both so I want us both to stay together and with the understanding we can find others.

The only way she'd flip out probably is if she thought you'd leave her and break up the family.

Tell her, Im staying, I dont want emotion or a girlfriend just nsa sex and Im giving you the same option.

If your open...it may just work fine.

If you get caught and she doesnt know...your getting a divorce anyways and if you think her attitude is bitchy now? You havent TRULY met the scorn of a woman yet.

If you need to ask how to get an ow you likely have no game or are undesirable since its pretty freaking easy these days.

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ladydesigner Established Member

ladydesigner

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OP I think you need an open M and let your wife get some strange too on the side. Maybe y'all can compare stories ;)

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gettingstronger Established Member

gettingstronger

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I am confused on how you found this site but not "casual encounters" on Craigslist-

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wmacbride Established Member

wmacbride

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Sure no problem, you people think that if you try to make me think of her with someone else, I am going to say "oh wait , I could not stand for that to happen" she has been with other people before me and maybe after for all I know... I really do not care as long as it does not disrupt family....

 

 

You see that's the problem... women think emotionally.... I just want some strange, I still want the wife... and as another poster put it, in some cultures this works so dont act like I'm some sort of monster.

 

:laugh:

I'm sure the men there are fine with it

Ask the women, and you may get a different story.

:laugh:

Mr. Lucky Established Member

Mr. Lucky

Posted
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I dont want to get to know them. relate to them, hear their stories... just when two consenting adults wan to stamp one out and move on

 

With those parameters, you are limited to hookers. Though a fleshlight would be cheaper...

 

Mr. Lucky

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Confused9999 Established Member

Confused9999

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Your only choice is escorts if you want absolutely not commitment or impacts.

 

As soon as you have an affair it starts to get messy.... Eventually someone will have feeling. And even if that doesn't happen, the chance of getting caught is much greater.

Also why bother going through the effort of getting an affair if you only want a one time score.. That takes time, money, "dating", worring about getting caught, etc... Way too much hassles !

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ChickiePops Established Member

ChickiePops

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Porn and masturbation work just as well as 'strange' and they won't devastate your wife.

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nucking_futs Member

nucking_futs

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Are you the guy who doesn't like your wife staying friends with her suicidal friend that you had an affair with? You went back & forth on your wants, thoughts & feelings then. Are you sure this isn't midlife crisis?

 

Sorry if I've got you muddled with another member.

 

Uh yes you are correct..... still pissed off and looking.... things changed for a while , now back to the old ways.... she changed a bit when she was threatened.

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nucking_futs Member

nucking_futs

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Porn and masturbation work just as well as 'strange' and they won't devastate your wife.

 

I know its not that hard to fund a willing woman.... I do not have any issues with attracting women, most either know I am married and that's a deal breaker.

 

 

I have turned down a couple due to working relationships. I do not want anyone that really knows my situation.... mostly just ONS I can understand that in the beginning it's all fine and then someone gets attached. I think high end hooker with protection is the way... Might be a mid-life, or it might be that I have done my time. Hell she may feel the same way.

 

 

I had the OW on the hook last year but I missed my window.

 

 

Question do most men feel this way, and just dont act on it.... I had a lot of partners prior to marriage and was faithful for a long time.

Edited by nucking_futs
PinkElephants Established Member

PinkElephants

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I just want some strange, I still want the wife...

What if your wife doesn't want you anymore after you get the strange?

 

and as another poster put it, in some cultures this works so dont act like I'm some sort of monster.

Does it work in this culture? Or are you trying to justify yourself by saying it works for some people somewhere so it shouldn't matter if you do it here where it won't work for your wife.

 

Your desire for sex is understandable but risking your family life to get it is irrational. You dismiss your wife, and all women, for making emotional decisions but her decisions, whether emotional or not, are her own and you'll have to live with them just like she's potentially going to live with your decision to lie and cheat.

 

Are you posting here as an alternative to getting some booty? Is this a means of working through the reasoning and seeing if it sticks or hoping someone will cosign your decision? Or are you angry and you want to fight with us instead of fighting with your wife or taking that step to having sex with someone?

Confused9999 Established Member

Confused9999

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Why don't you just work on an open marriage idea with her.

 

Either she agrees and you get to do what you want.. Or she gets the idea that you are seriously unhappy and might be willing to change.

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nucking_futs Member

nucking_futs

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What if your wife doesn't want you anymore after you get the strange?

 

 

Does it work in this culture? Or are you trying to justify yourself by saying it works for some people somewhere so it shouldn't matter if you do it here where it won't work for your wife.

 

Your desire for sex is understandable but risking your family life to get it is irrational. You dismiss your wife, and all women, for making emotional decisions but her decisions, whether emotional or not, are her own and you'll have to live with them just like she's potentially going to live with your decision to lie and cheat.

 

Are you posting here as an alternative to getting some booty? Is this a means of working through the reasoning and seeing if it sticks or hoping someone will cosign your decision? Or are you angry and you want to fight with us instead of fighting with your wife or taking that step to having sex with someone?

 

 

 

I do not want to argue, I will do what I want, maybe I am wanting to hear some opinions for or against. I do not want to hurt my wife but at the same time I want some excitement. I also have a family member that is semi well known... if I got caught then it could be publicly embarrassing to him as well.

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TX-SC Established Member

TX-SC

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Question do most men feel this way, and just dont act on it.... I had a lot of partners prior to marriage and was faithful for a long time.

 

To honestly answer your question, I can only speak for me, not most men. I tend to enjoy sex much more with someone I'm in love with or at least could eventually love. The FWB thing and ONS don't work for me so much. I have had a few ONS and two FWBs, but the sex was only fair because my heart wasn't in it, only my penis.

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Mumbles Established Member

Mumbles

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Contrary to a fair number of posts here I think you're being really honest and living in the real world as opposed to the often presented fantasy.

 

I can fully understand not wanting to break things up with your wife too. In my first marriage the marriage itself was pretty much fine, all the niggles one always finds in a 10 year union, but by and large, pretty good.

 

However, and it was a biggy, we didn't have sex.

 

I put myself through the mental and emotional wringer over this. On the one hand trying to live up to my view of the marital vow, but on the other, going absolutely nuts because of a complete lack of physical intimacy.

 

Now, you -are- getting sex at home, so not quite the same situation, but now, long post divorce, I can see the reality of wanting a bit of 'strange' from time to time. Why we insist on building up social prisons to keep us from our natural and biologically programmed way of living is quite beyond me.

 

I'm convinced that almost all of this social pressure comes from some weird all captivating notion of bloodlines. We don't want to be personally responsible for raising other mens (or womens) children - but this is such a load of crap, particularly nowadays where, by and large, children are going to be looked after by the tribe (the society) regardless of their lineage, particularly so in the more westernised countries.

 

Additionally, in these enlightened post 60's times, the conception of children can largely be controlled, which just makes the whole argument for puritanical monogamous marriage a farce imho.

 

Moving on from that thought process though, before I become totally fixed to my soapbox lol ...

 

The relationship you are describing that you desire sounds 100% like an escort type deal. Don't cast around for the mythical FWB ... this will almost inevitably bite you in the ass later at the expense of your union with your wife. A true FWB is not in it just for the NSA sex, its a whole friendship + sex package and you won't be able to spend time with the FWB woman without seriously compromising your marriage.

 

I'd strongly advise punting about and finding 2-3-4-5 or so escorts who you like and seeing them when you so desire. Remember the old saying (ascribed to Charlie Sheen I think), you pay escorts to leave. Once your time together is up, they won't bother you or your wife.

 

Now, as for telling your wife about this. You have to read your own situation correctly. My first wife actually told me to go out and have sex with hookers. I never did that at the time because of my mental 'problem' with that being at cross purposes to a monogamous marriage - but I should have! It probably would have saved a -lot- of heartache.

 

If you're able to have a mature conversation with your wife about opening the marriage - and remember, this must include -her- ability/freedom to do the same if she wishes, then I'd strongly recommend this as the best way forward.

 

However, this may not be possible without essentially ending your relationship with your wife ... you need care here and the ability to 'read' your wife.

 

If she can't accept this, or you can't talk about it, well, wear rubbers and see escorts. Don't expose your wife to an STD, thats seriously just not fair.

 

Oh, by the by, before I finish, my first wife was adamant that getting strange like this must be with escorts, not with FWB or any other sort of friendly OW type scenario. She knew that escort relationships, for the most part, are pay-blow-go, she wasn't interested in a situation that might later come with emotional attachment to the OW.

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Mumbles Established Member

Mumbles

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To honestly answer your question, I can only speak for me, not most men. I tend to enjoy sex much more with someone I'm in love with or at least could eventually love. The FWB thing and ONS don't work for me so much. I have had a few ONS and two FWBs, but the sex was only fair because my heart wasn't in it, only my penis.

 

Yes, I agree. I have the best sex, the most full experience, with my wife, and it was the same when we were b/f and g/f ... actually, tbh, its even better now than before because we more fully understand each others bodies and responses.

 

I've tried the FWB thing too and it just did my head in (and hers). No thanks, won't do that again. For those that think its cleaner (std free) or cheaper to pursue a FWB, well, think again. FWB's are rarely monogamous, if they are true FWBs and not simply masquerading as one; and cheaper? Don't make me laugh.

 

I like a bit of strange, and yes, the sex is never as good as with the wife - but its different, and keeps me humming and in top emotional and physical shape. For those seriously shaking their heads at this point, don't worry, my wife gets her share of strange as well.

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MJJean Established Member

MJJean

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It's the old I love you BUT not in love with you.... but don't want to slip up everything and ruin family and kids etc... just for some casual fun.

 

Everything comes with a price. Everything. Including, maybe most especially, casual fun.

 

If the price you pay to keep your marriage together for the kids is too high, admit it's too high and file for divorce.

ChickiePops Established Member

ChickiePops

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I have nothing against an agreed upon open marriage. It's the lying and the sneaking around and the utter devastation and the selfishness that bother me.

 

If you're unhappy, talk to your wife. It's not that hard.

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jasmineb Established Member

jasmineb

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It is possible I did not see this question being answered so I apologize if that is so.

 

Will you be telling your wife of this plan or keeping it secret from her?

While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
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