Silveresque Posted March 31, 2016 Posted March 31, 2016 There’s this girl that appears to have been flirting with me here and there for the past couple of years. I’m a senior in high school and she’s a junior. Whenever we see each other in the halls, she seems to say “hi” very enthusiastically. We’re not close - only mere acquaintances. One time a couple of years ago, she told me that my face has gotten hotter, and overall she seems to act animatedly whenever we talk. By the way, for the longest time, I had absolutely no luck with dating, largely due to my poor reputation and low social status in high school. And this was something that really bothered me and made me feel depressed a lot of the time for years. But recently, it seems like things are starting to become okay for me dating-wise at least. I dated a couple girls that I met online from different towns, got my first kiss recently, and my confidence has now finally largely been restored. This girl that I am talking about, however, goes to my school. But this week, I decided and try to talk to her more, and she continued talking to me how she usually does. She dropped in lines like, “We have so much in common!” over a trivial thing we both did similarly. I said that “we hang out sometime” and she accepted giving me her number (and I gave her mine), and the next day we were talking about it and I suggested we grab lunch. She said she wanted to do more and subsequently recommended we go to her house to watch this movie, afterwards. By the way, she’s seen the movie and was talking about how she thought it was horrible, so that’s interesting. Is this girl “interested” or has she just been friendly? Is she interpreting this as “hanging out as friends” or a “date”?
preraph Posted March 31, 2016 Posted March 31, 2016 Yes, she's interested! It couldn't be clearer. If you have things in common, simply ask her to do something you have in common. The very girls you should be asking out are the ones like this who let you know they like you by talking to you, even if it's only a little. That's a lot because some girls just like guys are uncomfortable being that up front about like you. So please waste no more time. You're graduating soon. Ask her to that prom or game or whatever you do. 1
Author Silveresque Posted April 1, 2016 Author Posted April 1, 2016 Well today we were talking and she brought this up asking, "Is this a date?" I responded saying, "I don't know. What did you think?" And she goes, "We'll see what happens." Honestly, in most situations, I would have responded more confidently and asserted that it was a date, but here I was hesitant to do so because a) I've felt unclear about whether she's jusy being friendly or if she's actually been flirting and b) in high school, things tend to move slower like this than in the real world and I didn't want to risk scaring her off and us not hanging out at all, since again it's not completely clear to me how this girl views me.
itstoni Posted April 1, 2016 Posted April 1, 2016 Well today we were talking and she brought this up asking, "Is this a date?" I responded saying, "I don't know. What did you think?" And she goes, "We'll see what happens." Honestly, in most situations, I would have responded more confidently and asserted that it was a date, but here I was hesitant to do so because a) I've felt unclear about whether she's jusy being friendly or if she's actually been flirting and b) in high school, things tend to move slower like this than in the real world and I didn't want to risk scaring her off and us not hanging out at all, since again it's not completely clear to me how this girl views me. She is indeed interested. One thing, be asserted. Be confident. Don't be afraid to scare her off. If she does, well she did you a favor. Invite her out asap. Do things you enjoy to do. It can be anything really, as long as you love it. If she really is interested she will follow you. 2
preraph Posted April 1, 2016 Posted April 1, 2016 Well today we were talking and she brought this up asking, "Is this a date?" I responded saying, "I don't know. What did you think?" And she goes, "We'll see what happens." Honestly, in most situations, I would have responded more confidently and asserted that it was a date, but here I was hesitant to do so because a) I've felt unclear about whether she's jusy being friendly or if she's actually been flirting and b) in high school, things tend to move slower like this than in the real world and I didn't want to risk scaring her off and us not hanging out at all, since again it's not completely clear to me how this girl views me. Well, she accepted knowing it's probably a date, and she is at least willing to go out and get to know you -- and that's all dating is! It's not a commitment to keep liking you. It's just an agreement that I'd like to get to know you and see if we click. And that's exactly what she meant when she said "We'll see how it goes." Now don't think of this as a big commitment or a trial. Just take her to do something that feels comfortable and natural to you, whatever that is, and just relax and enjoy! It's all good!
Author Silveresque Posted April 1, 2016 Author Posted April 1, 2016 Well I mean I already have invited her out for lunch and then we're seeing a movie. That's what I was saying. But it's not clear whether it's a date, since as I said in my last post, as a result of a few differing circumstances, I was afraid to assert it as such. Which I guess is fine in and of itself. I mean she responded to my ambiguity with "we'll see what happens", indicating that there is some potential for her to view me as more than a friend, I suppose. One question I have however is should I pay for her? I always, in the in the early unofficial dating phase, pay for everything every date, unless the girl STRONGLY asserts that she wants to pay. But the problem here is that it's not clear whether this is a date, so... EDIT: I didn't see preraph's second post above when I posted this, but I agree. Thank you.
smackie9 Posted April 2, 2016 Posted April 2, 2016 Yes it is a date, and she is going to want to make out with you....she is being quite assertive about it...."lunch isn't enough, lets see a movie at my place", hint hint...
preraph Posted April 2, 2016 Posted April 2, 2016 It's a date. When she asked is it a date and you said we'll see, she had no problem with that, which means it IS a date. Treat it like a date. Be a gentleman, open doors, guide her to through the door or to the seat in the dark theater with your palm on her back, seat her, etc. That's date stuff that's relatively rejection-free. If it's a movie, if i were you, I'd avoid the ones with the big recliners and go for the close seating so you can touch hands sharing popcorn and rest your knee on her knee and see how that goes. Good luck. It all sounds like it's going well. It's just a date. You're seeing if you want to see each other again. 1
Author Silveresque Posted April 2, 2016 Author Posted April 2, 2016 Actually, we're watching the movie at her house after lunch. But okay, thank you!
Buddhist Posted April 2, 2016 Posted April 2, 2016 It's a date. Girls don't watch movies they hate to be friendly. If she was just being friendly lunch would have been fine. Not come over to my house where I will put on a movie neither of us want to watch so we can make out instead. Get a clue son.... 1
Author Silveresque Posted April 4, 2016 Author Posted April 4, 2016 We didn't go to her house, but instead went to a theater and saw some random movie because of certain conditions and she did add that she didn't feel comfortable yet inviting me over, which is understandable definitely. She was saying how if I REALLY want to, we can, but then kept suggesting other ideas such as the above, so that's what I ended up doing. We hugged at the beginning and end. That's what I always do for a first date anyway - start and end with a hug. At the movie, be were in the theater before the preview even came on, and we were very rmuch reclined and I put my arm around her. She responded by leaning in, but then after a few seconds got up to do something and when we came back, I tried doing it again, and this time she rejected telling me not to bother. She said something before about how the recliners weren't ideal for this kind of thing, so maybe that was it. Also, she always had her hands in her pockets or away for me, so I didn't see any opportunity to hold her hand (was unable to incorporate gradual "accidental" hand collisions in order to warm up to it). That said, I think she did interpret this as a date. She did something positive (really just courteous) that no other first dates I had did and I told her this, and she took it well. When I got up to get something, she followed me and said, "Let me come with you." Either she's just taking it slow, isn't touchy-feely (unfortunate for me because I love touch), or only views me as a friend, and I really can't tell which it is. Her behavior overall has been very much on the border between friendly and flirtatious. For the longest time, it's been this way. I have never been able to tell whether this girl wants me or just wants to be friends.
Grey40 Posted April 4, 2016 Posted April 4, 2016 She's 100% interested, you shouldn't even be asking that question at this point. While there can be many reasons why she didn't really let you make much of a move...it probably just wasn't the right vibe and maybe it felt forced for her. I mean...usually you wait until the movie has started and the theater is dark before you put your arm around her...not before the previews begin. Probably just weirded her out. 1
Author Silveresque Posted April 4, 2016 Author Posted April 4, 2016 Yeah, unfortunately I kind of ****ed that up. Lesson learned. Anyway, I'm still curious though. I'm not denying what you people are saying, but what makes it obvious that she's "interested"? I just want to know for reference and perspective. I've just been getting the sense that she doesn't physically want me and in school, she often made a fist for a knuckle touch, which seems very much like a friendly gesture. Which is fine, if she wants to be friends that's fine. But apparently, you folks think it's obvious and almost certain she's interested, and I'd like to hear why you guys think that. Especially now, I mean she ended up not taking me back to her place which if she was going to, I would have leaned towards thinking she was into me as well, but now that point is null. Then again, under normal conditions, that's not to be expected on a first date anyway.
Author Silveresque Posted April 4, 2016 Author Posted April 4, 2016 Yes it is a date, and she is going to want to make out with you....she is being quite assertive about it...."lunch isn't enough, lets see a movie at my place", hint hint... Sorry I didn't see this until now. lol But yeah as you can see from my last two posts, things didn't exactly turn out as expected so it's not as clear anymore (to me at least). I think part of it is I myself am not sure if I'm really feeling it with this girl. I'll go on another "date" with her (if that's indeed what she interpreted thr last outing) and if I don't start feeling the magic and infatuation, I think I'll pass honestly.
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