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DOes my ex Girlfriend still have feelings for me

Hulahoops88

By Hulahoops88
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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Hulahoops88 Member

Hulahoops88

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Hey! I wont bore you with the long details. me and my ex broke up after a over a year together, both 28. we both loved each other but fought over silly insecurities and jealousys which in hindsight now look petty. She blocked me on facebook and broke up with me. i left her alone for a month and contacted again but she was angry saying she saw my facebook and all the new girls i added? i was baffled as i just added platonic friends. i tried to tell her this but she told me to leave her alone. i asked her to block me on facebook so i could move on. im doing a 30 day no contact and i just cant move on thinking that she was checking on me out of feelings for me but is still angry at me. she shutted down when i spoke to her. Can anyone tell me if i should just move on? am i silly to think she is hurt and if i can give her timje and then get through to her, it can be fixed. i really do love her. thanks

smudge21 Established Member

smudge21

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So she ended the relationship, but then stalks your Facebook and gets jealous that you have female friends? Someone's missing out on an ego boost! Despite the mutual issues, she's the one who ended it - you're the dumpee and she's the dumper. If you go chasing then you will be running to her tune and in turn she will lose all respect for you. The fact she's still checking up on you is something you need to stop thinking about. Whatever her reasons are, they won't bring her back... and she's the one who has to come back. She left you, remember that. If there ever is a chance for a relationship to work out, then it has to be mutual in every detail. You go chasing and it won't be. Her checking up on you isn't either. NC is a time to heal but it does take time. Right now, you're in no mind set to make rational decisions regarding this and will only react from the heart, when it's the head you need to be following. Just keep telling yourself that whatever she is feeling, it doesn't change the fact she left you. You shouldn't be the one begging for her back.

butterfly1958 Member

butterfly1958

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Posted

Your heart sounds like it is hurting right now. Have you really sat down and considered your differences and the things you fought over? How would you do things differently? Knowing jealousy was a factor, what made you place more girls on your Facebook page if you really wanted to get back together with her knowing that this could cause problems? What can you change about how you reacted to your girlfriend? Learning from the past is key. When you are ready and feel in your heart you need to contact her again, if ever, how would a letter to her work with all your feelings and changes you plan on making to rid the relationship of the "petty" disputes? Letters work well sometimes because you can really think of what you want to say without interruption. For her she has to read all of it and has time for the information extended to really have impact verses needing to respond immediately. Ownership of where you both need to change might help so communication is the key......stay calm in letter and the person and really listen and think about what she is saying. Boundaries are necessary in all relationships for them to flourish. What are your boundaries and hers? The Golden Rule so applies in life so treat her like you would like to be treated with the respect, patience, love and understanding. Blessings on your journey through this difficult time......let me know how it goes.....

mightycpa Established Member

mightycpa

Posted
Posted (edited)
Hey! I wont bore you with the long details. me and my ex broke up after a over a year together, both 28. we both loved each other but fought over silly insecurities and jealousys which in hindsight now look petty. She blocked me on facebook and broke up with me. i left her alone for a month and contacted again but she was angry saying she saw my facebook and all the new girls i added? i was baffled as i just added platonic friends. i tried to tell her this but she told me to leave her alone. i asked her to block me on facebook so i could move on. im doing a 30 day no contact and i just cant move on thinking that she was checking on me out of feelings for me but is still angry at me. she shutted down when i spoke to her. Can anyone tell me if i should just move on? am i silly to think she is hurt and if i can give her timje and then get through to her, it can be fixed. i really do love her. thanks
She doesn't sound mature enough to count on her to be there for you in the long run. She broke up with you because you couldn't fix your problems, which is fine, but then she had continuing expectations, which is not fine, and didn't communicate them to you, which is even worse, and then once you got a clue about what she hid from you, she refused to talk to you about it, which is pretty horrible of her. How can you possibly have a good relationship with someone like that?

 

No wonder you fought a lot about silly ****. Your past together tells you everything you need to know about what life would be like with her. I can't imagine you'd love that **** for very long.

Edited by mightycpa
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