xing11 Posted March 31, 2016 Posted March 31, 2016 It's been almost 6 months since I have not been with him. Since January no contact with him. Before that just a few he called. He is still with the girl he cheated on me with. It's been some emotional 6 months. When I first caught them I felt Betrayed and so disrespected. I was so very hurt. Believe me I was so very hut about it. Thanks to my friends and his daughter who had to listen to me for a few months ranting. I lost lost a boyfriend of 10yrs but also lost a friend of 30 yrs. I think the friend part was the hardest part to get over. I can't say I'm totally over with the hurt but I do notice that I don't think about it that as much. I was even at the point that I told his daughter she didn't have to try to keep us running into each other any longer. Because in truth this has been a good thing for me to be free from him. It took me awhile to get that answer. Yes I do talk to her because she is my daughter I've raised her since she was 5 yrs old. I was at the stage were I can forgive him and not forget. Being polite if I ran into him. I have not run into him yet. The other day I got out of work and just merge on the highway and who would be next to me. Yes him and her. I don't know why they would be in my part of the world but they were. But I just drove off to get home. I have him on my reject list on my phone I've had that many months. I just don't have anything to say to him. Well he called me up about a hr after I saw them. I didn't even look at them I just know the jeep. Of course the call just kick into my VM. All I can hear is talking. No way could this be a butt call. It just got me angry all over again. I feel like he is using me to get her jealous reason for the call. Because he didn't say anything on v/m. He wants to go out with a girl 32 yrs younger and play teenage games. that is fine. I just don't want to be in the middle of it. It is taking all my strength not to call him up and tell him so. It angers be now because I feel like he put me back from getting over the hurt she and him has cause me. 1
diddy Posted March 31, 2016 Posted March 31, 2016 heartbreaks,ohh they hurt ,so much.... i feel for you,i really do . you still have a long way to go so my only advice is brace yourself and ride the waves cos ur still gonna feel all kinds of emotion,at the end of the day he is with her & ur gonna have to find a way to make it better for urself
Author xing11 Posted March 31, 2016 Author Posted March 31, 2016 Well just when I'm starting to feel better he pulls this stunt. Even though I was hurting bad. There was a reason why I didn't fight back. Even at the time I didn't realize it. That is because he was not worthy of my love. Hopefully the next time he tries to call I won't be so effective by it.
Author xing11 Posted June 4, 2016 Author Posted June 4, 2016 It's been 8 month since I've seen him. It has been a eye opening experience. I have to say I'm so thankful of my children and his. They had a lot to say about the breakup. Which made me angry with myself. But they are not mad at me. I realize some things in which they help me with. I really didn't enjoy being with him. The only time I would talk to him was in the morning. I was at ease because he was sober. Night I was at edge because he was drunk and never knew how he would come home. Believe me it was hell at times. Now I enjoy coming at home and not have to worry about thing. The beginning of the breakup I could only remember the good times. There were good times. Now when I think about him. I won't lie it happens at least once a day. Now I think about when it's was bad how good it is for me now. Yes people once in awhile will tell me whats going on with him. But I'm at the point that I laugh and say thank god it is happening to someone else and not me. I found out I'm am strong. Even through the relationship because I never let him talk me into things I really didn't want. I like earning my own money and having a roof over my head. I'm so glad I never quit my job and had to depend on him. I would have been homeless and going crazy. Yes he is homeless now and depending on his 26 yr old girlfriend father for them to have a roof over his head. That could have been y life. I can move around with my friends. Which some are his. It does give me pleasure that when people tell him that I was expected there he leaves fast. Whether its for her or he is trying to respect the the NC I don't know. Nor do I care. I had finally have peace and have forgive him for it. He has a drinking problem and I'm free of it. I'm at the point of my life all my children are grown and I can start doing things I like. Some reason it it happen now for to enjoy my life. Sorry about all the I's in my post. I'm not the best writer.
xrobertx Posted June 4, 2016 Posted June 4, 2016 I'm really glad you are feeling better. I read your thread... very difficult. Very heavy and hard to deal with. I hope things continue to get better for you. I know I wouldn't be around if it wasn't for my daughter. What my ex wife did to me and my family was horrible. Took a LONG time to heal over... and I was with her for 12 years. God bless. Take care.
Neffer Posted June 5, 2016 Posted June 5, 2016 I am glad you stuck to NC and very glad you are enjoying life. You should enjoy your life. It took me about 8-10 months before I totally let go of any feelings for my ex after our breakup (also lying and cheating). It's good to see them for what they really are. And to not miss them. Clarity and peace. I can't recall the good parts now Your life will keep getting better. Take care. Be well.
Author xing11 Posted September 13, 2016 Author Posted September 13, 2016 It's been 11 months for the breakup. I ran into him the other day at his daughter house. It was early in the morning I was dropping off some items one of her children left at my house when I babysat the other weekend. We were talking outside on the porch enjoying our self. When I heard a car drive into the driveway. She ask who it was I said it was her father. I wanted to run off and go out the front door. I didn't though. We both know this day would come even though he should have been working. I don't know if I handle it well. I was the first person he said hello to by name. Rest he only ask what going on. Of course he had to stand next to me and the girlfriend was still in the van doing whatever. Well I didn't even acknowledge him. I made my exit a few moments later. With them coming and hugging me and telling me they love me. Told them I would see them in a few weeks. It was hiss son there also. I didn't look at him at all and not word to him. Now I wonder if I should have at least said hello. But my feeling I no longer want to even be friends with him or even give him a open door of at least having a friendship of any form. You see it was 10:30 am. He was still sober. I no longer want that type of drama in any form in my life. His daughter message me later in the day telling me he watch me walk down the driveway. Looking sad and had regret written on his face. The answer was not my problem anymore it's hrs. I hope I handle it right. I wonder how other people handle when you really first see ex after the breakup. I know this will not be the first run in. Because I still involved with everyone. Not on a day to day basis but they do call me on a weekly to see how things are going.
Zahara Posted September 13, 2016 Posted September 13, 2016 You handled it well. You don't need to exchange niceties. I saw my ex last week -- he cheated on me. He saw me from afar, had a smile on his face and waved at me but I looked away and carried on walking. Keep doing what you are doing. Keep that boundary between you and him. 1
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