Lovewaslost Posted March 31, 2016 Posted March 31, 2016 (edited) Just to start off, I never been in a real relationship before, only in short 1-2 months top relationship, with no real feelings involved. But now I been seeing this girl for like 1month or so. We had a great first date and we decided to meet again 4 days later, and she already asked me out on a date 3 weeks from that day, since there was a concert she wanted to go to, and asked if i was in, I was a bit hesitant but said yes. When i got home i wrote her a txt telling her, that I had a great time and within 5 mins she wrote me back, telling me that she was just about to write something similar, and she had an amazing time too. We then went on a second date and we ended up kissing, wrote her again when I got home, didnt hear from her. Days went by, still no text, so I just wrote her a causal, hows she been text, she replied but with a short answer, after that we hardly texted, (we used to txt like everyday, and long messages.), I then wrote her and asked if everything was alright?, she wrote that it was not so long ago she came out of a long term relationship, and she needed to take things slower, she enjoyed being with me, she did not know what this could lead to, only time time will tell. So we texted a bit back and forth for a week or so, and then she invited me over to her place. We made dinner, talked a lot, watched a movie, cuddled kissed and i thought everything was good( and decided to go out again tomorrow), while we were cuddling I told her, that if i allowed myself it I could see myself really liking her(One of my friends friend who is a psychologist told me to tell her that, after i talked to her about the girl i'm dating, she said it would tell her a clear sign that I like her and is not just trying to sleep with her) she told me, that she needs to get to know me better, she hold me tight, said it was very sweet of me to say, and she felt save and comfortable being with me, and that she could "be herself". When we are together we talk about things we have to do together at some point, cooking something special or go together to some event that is coming to our town in some weeks. I then got home wrote her thanks for a great evening, and no reply, that was 2 days so. When i see her, i'm sure or i think that she likes me, because I can feel it and when we are out in public we are holding hands, but why doesn't she write to me anymore? And what should I do? How should i deal/ approach this? We are going out tomorrow, meeting at her place for dinner and then going out to concert. The times we met has been for at least 4hours + Another thing is, that some days ago I asked her, what her Facebook is, so that I could add her, but she didnt answer that questions or gave it to me. Why is that ? I'm just so confused and I can feel that I am starting to like her more and more, but now i'm also very afraid of getting hurt. We are both 29. Edited March 31, 2016 by Lovewaslost Adding details
diddy Posted March 31, 2016 Posted March 31, 2016 WoW she is 29 i thought 16) after going to concert + dinner,send her u had a great time and leave it at that. let her make a move or contact you until then just let her be. 1
kendahke Posted March 31, 2016 Posted March 31, 2016 Stop contacting her. Wait for her to contact you. In the meantime, keep yourself occupied with your life. Go out with friends, go out with other girls. If she said she wants to take it slow, then slow this down to a glacier's pace. She will eventually ask what's going on and you can tell her you're doing as she asked: you're taking things very, very, very slowly; but in the meantime, you're not putting your life on ice waiting on her to pick up the pace. 1
Author Lovewaslost Posted March 31, 2016 Author Posted March 31, 2016 Thanks to both of you. I will try and be more passive and let her come to me. Hope she does .
Author Lovewaslost Posted March 31, 2016 Author Posted March 31, 2016 If anyone else has some suggestions / comments, please let me know
jcromp Posted April 1, 2016 Posted April 1, 2016 I was also really surprised that she's 29. I hate to be the party pooper here, but it sounds like she's seeing someone else. Now, you've only been casually dating, so that doesn't necessarily make her a bad person. I'm just putting it out there as a possibility as to why she goes long periods of not answering your texts and perhaps why she didn't want to give you her facebook. But the facebook thing could also be because she's not sure that things are going to work out yet and she doesn't want some guy on her facebook that she only went on a few dates with. Some people are pretty private with their facebook accounts. She may also be the type that doesn't like texting a lot. In the beginning, maybe she was excited to meet someone new and that's why she was texting a lot more. Some people just aren't into it. I agree with the other posters though. I think you should back off a little and let her come to you more. Don't totally stop contacting her. You don't want her to think you've lost interest in her. And always send a text after seeing her that you had a nice time. That's just good manners. But definitely start contacting her less. Like if you send a text, don't send another until she answers you. 1
Author Lovewaslost Posted April 1, 2016 Author Posted April 1, 2016 Why does she sounds younger than she is ? Okay, yeah true, she could be dating someone else, since we are only casually dating, I hope not. But I guess I just be myself today, when we are meeting and let her make the moves today when it comes to kissing, holding hands cuddling etc. Yeah I agree as-well with sending a, I had a great time text is good manners. But I will back off and let her come to me, I been doing that the last week. Did only text her with "Thanks i had a great time" and some hours ago I send her a (since we talked about, if I could I should help her remember to take some food out of the fridge) so I wrote: Good night, remember to take the X out of the fridge before you go to sleep and see you tomorrow at X time. Here she wrote back with; Perfect, thank you, you have a good memory. So at least i'm still seeing her tomorrow. Thanks for the advice
Scarlett.O'hara Posted April 1, 2016 Posted April 1, 2016 she wrote that it was not so long ago she came out of a long term relationship, and she needed to take things slower, she enjoyed being with me, she did not know what this could lead to, only time time will tell. She has been upfront with you about the situation. She is still getting over her ex so if you want to keep seeing her then you have to accept things as they are for now. She likes you enough to want to spend time with you and get to know you more which is good, but she isn't ready for you jump into a boyfriend role yet, so keep texting to a minimum if you can and leave her wanting more. The last thing you need is to be a rebound guy so try not to get too invested until she makes it clear that she feels the same way.
Author Lovewaslost Posted April 1, 2016 Author Posted April 1, 2016 She has been upfront with you about the situation. She is still getting over her ex so if you want to keep seeing her then you have to accept things as they are for now. She likes you enough to want to spend time with you and get to know you more which is good, but she isn't ready for you jump into a boyfriend role yet, so keep texting to a minimum if you can and leave her wanting more. The last thing you need is to be a rebound guy so try not to get too invested until she makes it clear that she feels the same way. Okay thanks a lot for the honest answer. I will try and slow myself down and leave her wanting more. I'm meeting her this evening, I'll just be myself and not take initiative, but hope she does.
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