aviva_dawn Posted June 16, 2005 Posted June 16, 2005 My friends and I had a discussion last night while we were on a Girls Night Out. One of my friends insisted that if a couple is dating and goes out for coffee or dinner or whatever, it's the man's place to pay. I say that the bill should be covered by having each person pay for whatever he/she ordered. Another person said that whoever asks for the date, should pay for everything. So many different opinions, what is your opinion on the subject? Who should pay?
IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted June 16, 2005 Posted June 16, 2005 If its a first date....The man should pay. First impressions clutch. Then what I do is switch off. He pays for something tonight, I pay for something the next time. But if were at a bar, He buys me a drink when he gets one, I'll get him next. Just so that its even. Never expect a man to pay. Chivalry is dead.
BigB Posted June 16, 2005 Posted June 16, 2005 I'm my limited experience, I (the guy) usually payed on the first few dates, if it evolved into an exclusive relationship, we'd then start splitting the bill, or taking turns paying. Some girls like to pay half from the get go, My sister said once that this helps her feel like she doesn't owe the guy anything (anything being, another date, a kiss, etc). I don't see anything wrong with that. It would feel weird to me if a girl payed for the whole thing on a first date. slightly off topic: I've often wondered about the whole "buy you a drink?" thing, some guys think that because you accepted the free drink they now have the right to talk to you, sit at your table, or even follow you around for the whole night. I had to explain to my sister once after a guy bought her a drink and then got pissed when she walked away, that if she doesn't want to talk with him, she should refuse the drink just to be on the safe side. do girls ever use "can I buy you a drink?" as a way to meet guys? It's never happened to me.
IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted June 16, 2005 Posted June 16, 2005 Originally posted by BigB slightly off topic: I've often wondered about the whole "buy you a drink?" thing, some guys think that because you accepted the free drink they now have the right to talk to you, sit at your table, or even follow you around for the whole night. I had to explain to my sister once after a guy bought her a drink and then got pissed when she walked away, that if she doesn't want to talk with him, she should refuse the drink just to be on the safe side. do girls ever use "can I buy you a drink?" as a way to meet guys? It's never happened to me. See, this is what I don't like. You asked me if you can buy me a drink. Sure you can by be a drink, buy me whatever you want. Just remember I didn't ask for the drink. Therefore, you are not calling dibs on me for the night. I accepted the drink because, 1. A woman never turns down a free drink, and 2. Women don't see the harm in accepting the drink and them blowing the guy off. Its basically passive aggressive way of hitting on a girl. She'll take the drink but not the offer on the table. Just like..."Are your legs tired" "B/C you've been running through my mind all day" (or some other corney pick up line) That was the drink and the acceptance is listening to it and enlightening you and then the rejection, or the acceptance of the drink and walking away. It gets complicated.
blind_otter Posted June 16, 2005 Posted June 16, 2005 Whoever asked whoever out has to pay. If you asked him out, you pay. If he asked you out, he pays. Once you're in a relationship, you can share equally. I never ask dudes out so they have to pay.
BigB Posted June 16, 2005 Posted June 16, 2005 Originally posted by IhavenoFREAKINclue See, this is what I don't like. You asked me if you can buy me a drink. Sure you can by be a drink, buy me whatever you want. Just remember I didn't ask for the drink. Therefore, you are not calling dibs on me for the night. I accepted the drink because, 1. A woman never turns down a free drink, and 2. Women don't see the harm in accepting the drink and them blowing the guy off. Its basically passive aggressive way of hitting on a girl. She'll take the drink but not the offer on the table. Just like..."Are your legs tired" "B/C you've been running through my mind all day" (or some other corney pick up line) That was the drink and the acceptance is listening to it and enlightening you and then the rejection, or the acceptance of the drink and walking away. It gets complicated. I agree, the whole buy you drink thing seems wack to me, I'll offer to buy a girl a drink, but only after we've been talking a bit. Not as a pickup move. I have bought strangers drinks in the past, but I didn't expect anything, I was just being nice. I've seen way to many guys though who think they have a right to something after buying you a drink, I think it's lame.
IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted June 16, 2005 Posted June 16, 2005 Originally posted by BigB I've seen way to many guys though who think they have a right to something after buying you a drink, I think it's lame. Many men do. I think its more of a territorial thing...Like when a dog pees on something to mark it! But it is lame. Its almost laughable.
InmannRoshi Posted June 16, 2005 Posted June 16, 2005 Originally posted by IhavenoFREAKINclue Never expect a man to pay. Chivalry is dead. With all this talk about how its "laughable" how anyone who buys you something could expect a moment of your time, you might want to ask yourself who killed it.
scratch Posted June 16, 2005 Posted June 16, 2005 Originally posted by BigB I'm my limited experience, I (the guy) usually payed on the first few dates, if it evolved into an exclusive relationship, we'd then start splitting the bill, or taking turns paying. slightly off topic: I've often wondered about the whole "buy you a drink?" thing, some guys think that because you accepted the free drink they now have the right to talk to you, sit at your table, or even follow you around for the whole night. I had to explain to my sister once after a guy bought her a drink and then got pissed when she walked away, that if she doesn't want to talk with him, she should refuse the drink just to be on the safe side. I think my best first dates have involved my taking the check, her offering to get it, my refusing and her giving me a genuine "thank you." As the relationship progresses, I'll still do most of the paying but expect her to do most of the domestic stuff when we're at one another's house. But as long as there's an equitable split, I don't care how much each person pays, and how much each cooks/cleans. I think shows a lack of class for a woman to accept a drink from a guy to whom she doesn't wish to speak, just like it's classless to accept a dinner (or any) date from a man in whom she's not interested. A woman undoubtedly has a right to take the drink and walk away, but she shouldn't be surprised that the man to whom she did it thinks she's a cruel user and treats her accordingly
IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted June 16, 2005 Posted June 16, 2005 Originally posted by InmannRoshi With all this talk about how its "laughable" how anyone who buys you something could expect a moment of your time, you might want to ask yourself who killed it. So, b/c we don't accept it and give him a moment if our time, we killed Chivalry? BS! THAT'S laughable. Did ya ever think that maybe we're not interested. Why lead a guy on and make him think your interested by sticking around. That's why I think its laughable that a guy expects us to hang around just cause he bought a drink?
ImaManDammit Posted June 16, 2005 Posted June 16, 2005 I like to pay most of the time.......but that comes with disadvantages. You are always left wondering does she appreciate it, or is she just along for the ride. This is more a problem with me than with them.
Opium Posted June 16, 2005 Posted June 16, 2005 This isn't to hard to figure out. The man should pay for the first couple of dates because he is trying to "take the girl OUT". After maybe 2 or 3 dates, when and if the girl feels more comfortable with the guy and feels "yeah this is a guy I can date", then she should help out. With my boyfriend if we go out to dinner and a movie, I'll pay for dinner he'll pay for movie, or vice versa. In a relationship everything should be 50/50. Just like a man should please his woman, a woman should please her man. Now if the guy is a dead beat with no job, unless he's a full time student, drop the guy, he's just going for a free ride and most woman don't have that kind of money to invest in a relationship with a guy that has nothing going for him.
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