3 years after the break up and still (long you have been warned)

[Junior23]

in the begging it was nothing but love, we did everything together, (young love I guess) we were always happy then I ended up getting her pregnant. More fight arose because of how young we were I was a junior in high school she dropped out (before I got her pregnant) her mom called me, frustrated; asking what i would do. At the time I could only get a really ****ty job. So I would work after school and stay up late to work on all my school work I wanted the best for our child. I was always seen as irresponsible in my mother in laws eyes I was literally only makin 100 dollar checks bi weekly but I couldn't do a thing about it I was 16 at the time the mother of my child 18. But I saved as much as I could I bought everything to get ready for our "son" lol(I'll explain later) I bought a gang of clothes, baby crib as well, me and the mother of my child still loved eachother very much headaches and all.i did act irresponsible at times when I would go hang out with my friends when I should have been with my pregnant girlfriend and I still feel very guilty about that...

 

my daughter was finally born into this world June of 2011as soon as she was born my baby mamas mom had prohibited my child to have my last name, and refused to let me sign the birth certificate...I was angry and broken stayed with our daughter till late night but couldn't help but be very frustrated with the situation I left that night. Our relationship was starting to become a little shaky but we were still getting thru it, I ended getting a better job but dropped out of school...it wasnt until I quit that job to go back to school and I even went thru hell and back to get my baby mama into school with me (alternative school young parents like us) we were both so behind on our school work but together we were working as a team to get that diploma. I was working while doing school as well. A much better job than I had ever had. We were quickly going thru our school work day by day we worked our asses off and we graduated.

 

after graduation we baptized my daughter and a fight happened when I saw that "name of father" was blank I was reminded that legally I am not my daughters father I chose not to talk to her the whole party... We were both angry at eachother she claimed that I always overreact. Well I sucked it up and tried being in the relationship but the fights started becoming more and more constant. But when we were happy we would mention our 3rd year together was coming up on February and we haven't talked about marriage we would talk about it non stop so I decided to surprise her and proposed a couple week before Christmas. The fights came to a stop we were acting a lot better. Planning our wedding, going to look at venues, selling all my things for extra money.

 

February came and all of a sudden life turned for the worst, her father was taken to jail and scheduled for deportation she was broken along with everyone else in her family. I was as well he was the only one, besides her brother that actually treated me with respect, her mom would say how she wouldn't like us to get married because I'm a bad guy for her, but her father and brother would always defend me..A couple days before our anniversary she started talking to some guy and started acting really secretive towards me I confronted her and it turned to a fight I went to her house to apologize and things were good for another day and she did it again, i confronted her again and she snapped and said its always her fault and that I don't trust her and she finally left me on our anniversary.

 

I did what a lot would do and begged and pleaded to take me back she would of course say no every time then i gave up when she had said if it wasn't for our daughter she could give a **** about me. I admit that I took myself away from our daughter I just wasn't in the right state of mind so I took a 2 month break and manned up to see my daughter.

 

The mother of my child was so cold and distant, didn't trust me with our daughter alone but I kept seeing her even though I was only permitted two hours at a time, I then started working in my self had two jobs, got to see my daughter every day, and started getting back in shape! Life was starting to get better for me. But all things don't last forever, the mother of my child noticed u was becoming a happier person and finally started talking to me asking if I lost weight and saying I looked good, but would still talk about me behind my back saying I'm an irresponsible father..as Time went by she visited my workplace with our daughter because my little one wanted to see me she never did this before and I found it odd. A couple days later I get a text from her asking if I was at work because our daughter misses me, I was already long gone it was midnight then she texts me again admitting that she misses me and apologized for the way things ended.

 

So I was hopeful that I had a chance, but she seemed hot and cold constantly throwing mixed signals she didn't talk to me at times and then she would again to point were I started becoming q by depressed, my daughters second birthday hit and I brought all her gifts that night she was so happy I stayed and played with her assembling her toy car vroooom ha...well I leave that night and head to a concert the next day and get a text from her again thanking me for the gifts. A couple week later I get a text wishing me a happy Father's Day. I was quickly becoming depressed because of all the mixed signals and I wanted my family back I knew I needed to make a change.

 

So change I did I moved 100 miles away to the city and became a whole different person I would see my daughter every Sunday. As time went by I would get occasional texts from the mother of my child wishing me a thanks giving and Christmas.. I forced myself into dating again and had a new girlfriend January, as we were dating I no longer paid attention to my baby mama drama until February (year after break up) texted me saying she missed me. I didn't answer and a day later she blamed that message on our then 2 year old I told her "she has some nerve texting me that because I'm finally trying to move on and she keeps sending me mixed signals"

 

From then on everything changed she became much more bitter, and never talking to me the same way again but I was now with my girlfriend for a few months yet I couldn't stop thinking about the mother of my child, we were both dating people yet I couldn't feel like there was still something there. I obviously left my girlfriend and my baby mama was in a relationship. So I dated someone else as well and was with her for a very long time but still we broke up..

 

I finally moved back closer to my daughter yay!!! But I can't help but feel my baby momma is still very bitter, one day we'll be talking non stop to the point where we planned a vacation with our daughter, to her ignoring me when I pick up my daughter...What I do know is our new relationships never last we were together three years but we have also been broken up for three years I'm still very in love with her but she seems to hate me at times and I don't understand why. Since I moved back my mom has told me recently for the reason of the break up and in her words "she said that love is not the problem with you guys but that my anger was, had the day ever come that she left me was beacuase I didn't change my ways" that was obviously when we were together. I can't help but feel like she has feelings for me, because of the fact that we aren't dating anyone, the fact that our relationships never last anyway, maybe even the fact that she still shows bitterness. I just want my family back

[Steven1]

It sounds very complex to be honest lol...but it does sound as though she does have feelings for you, but it sounds as though she is stopping her self from letting you get that close with her again in case things don't work out again.

 

If her real reasoning was because of how you used to be, you need to show her you have changed, I also suspect as well she may have become bitter that you did date other people but you couldn't be expected to put your life on hold whether you have a child together or not. I could be wrong on that but I suspect she was probably hoping you wouldn't date again and would go straight back to her every time.

 

I think it may be best to have a very,very long talk with her, don't go into it with the hopes that you will get back together, try to go into it with an open mind, try to get her to open up etc and for her to explain her side of things and her feelings and then see what happens from there.

 

I you already know anyway the important thing is that you are there for your daughter first and foremost, but it does sound as though things could work out for you as a couple, it's just going to take some patience, understanding, and talking.

[LovelyJoey]

Like Steven said, I think a nice long talk could help. You're obviously a great responsible caring loving man to be there for your daughter and still care about your baby mamma. I understand she may be sending you mixed signals, relationships can be real tough, but like Steve said perhaps talking to her honestly about what you'd like to because of how odd things are, but to be open and trying to get her to open up and see what's going on. Try to hang in there man, it's all gonna be okay, good guys like you go far in life, stay strong bro!