testhing Posted March 30, 2016 Posted March 30, 2016 I live and study at a christian university where kissing is strictly forbbiden. There are rules that forbid holding hands and hugging each other but aren't as strict as kissing. I gave her a quick kiss last night and one of the deans saw it, grabbed us firmly by the pulse and said "people are complaining and you better not do this again before it's get ugly to both of you". This morning my GF wouldn't normally talk to me and said that "we need to talk". I'm just suprised that an university can harass your scholarship and your relationship because of just a simple quick kiss and make you feel bad about it. I know I share my part by kissing her against the rules, but she doesn't help too much either.
TaraMaiden2 Posted March 30, 2016 Posted March 30, 2016 where is this? I don't believe it...! That is just totally unreasonable. What, are you studying to ordain? if not, then I suggest you either change university or defy the rules. That's completely ridiculous.
BetrayedH Posted March 30, 2016 Posted March 30, 2016 where is this? I don't believe it...! That is just totally unreasonable. What, are you studying to ordain? if not, then I suggest you either change university or defy the rules. That's completely ridiculous. Here's an interesting article on a couple universities in the US... 5 Rules from my Semester at America's Holiest University | Mental Floss
Author testhing Posted March 30, 2016 Author Posted March 30, 2016 where is this? I don't believe it...! That is just totally unreasonable. What, are you studying to ordain? if not, then I suggest you either change university or defy the rules. That's completely ridiculous. Studying Information Systems, go figure One of the options that I'm working on is to get a work and move out of there. Defying the rules could only hurt our image internally, something that I can't afford at the moment due lack of money/job and our given scholarship. I just don't know we should talk about only "weekend physical contact" until she graduates next year or I get a good job.
leavethepieces Posted March 30, 2016 Posted March 30, 2016 Do you go to PCC?? I don't know why ANYONE would go there in the 21st century. Those are the most absurd rules and they definitely do not prepare you for life or the real world. 1
normal person Posted March 30, 2016 Posted March 30, 2016 I'm just suprised that an university can harass your scholarship and your relationship because of just a simple quick kiss and make you feel bad about it. I'll keep my mouth shut on religion because I'm sure you don't want to hear what I have to say about it. But if you don't agree with this either, why on Earth are you going to school there? It sounds like a cult. That being said, if they gave you the scholarship, obviously you have to abide by their rules if you want to keep it, as ludicrous as their methods may seem. The overwhelming majority of society doesn't act like this. It sounds like it's an issue with your university and not one with what's generally appropriate for everyone else. If you were at any other campus in the western world this would be a non-issue. 1
TaraMaiden2 Posted March 30, 2016 Posted March 30, 2016 Here's an interesting article on a couple universities in the US... 5 Rules from my Semester at America's Holiest University | Mental Floss This alone - were I an American - would make me question why I would be still living in America....
normal person Posted March 30, 2016 Posted March 30, 2016 This alone - were I an American - would make me question why I would be still living in America.... OP's school has the right to conduct itself in the way that it wants, OP has the right not to go to school there, and we all have a right to denounce it as ridiculous tripe. In fairness, I've lived in the US my whole life and I've never met anyone who actually subscribes to these kinds of ideals. This stuff just seems like an Onion article to the other 99%+ of us who aren't in the cult. Conversely, my first day of college they were handing us condoms and turning a blind eye to underage alcohol consumption. Whatever you think is true about this country, the opposite is also true. Sounds like you need to transfer, OP. You you wouldn't have this problem if you went somewhere more "normal." 2
TaraMaiden2 Posted March 30, 2016 Posted March 30, 2016 .....This stuff just seems like an Onion article to the other 99%+ of us who aren't in the cult. Conversely, my first day of college they were handing us condoms and turning a blind eye to underage alcohol consumption. Whatever you think is true about this country, the opposite is also true. The fact that such 'opposites' live side by side - and that this kind of orwellian censorship exists at all - would drive me away from that particular establishment. Sounds like you need to transfer, OP. You you wouldn't have this problem if you went somewhere more "normal." Yes but that would mean leaving the GF.... Maybe.... It's a tricky one....
preraph Posted March 30, 2016 Posted March 30, 2016 Well, speaking as someone who grew up in a fundamentalist community who didn't even allow dancing, I can only tell you that you aren't going to get much of an education and mature any at a place like that. That's ridiculous! This is exactly the time of your life that you are supposed to date and meet people and all that. Get away from that crazy place. You do realize it's violating most of your constitutional freedoms by making these nutty impositions and rules? 4
normal person Posted March 30, 2016 Posted March 30, 2016 (edited) The fact that such 'opposites' live side by side - and that this kind of orwellian censorship exists at all - would drive me away from that particular establishment. "Side by side" is a stretch. Most of the extremely conservative sects form their own communities and keep to themselves, even if it's in close physical proximity to the rest of society, ex: all the large population of Hasidic Jews in Brooklyn. I wouldn't even know they're there if I didn't pass by the outskirts of their neighborhoods once in a blue moon. But when it comes to schools, the school has a right to impose its own rules. The rules aren't state mandated like in Saudi Arabia. OP is old enough to have made up his own mind, and had free will about where to go. If not, he's at least old enough to understand what constitutes breaking a rule, even if he doesn't agree with it. Yes but that would mean leaving the GF.... Maybe.... What's the point of having a girlfriend if you can't hold hands, hug, kiss, or do anything the slightest bit sexual? They might as well be just friends. I'm just suprised that an university can harass your scholarship and your relationship because of just a simple quick kiss and make you feel bad about it. Why is this such a surprise? Regardless of how asinine the rule is, that's what you agreed to when you went to school there. It's like you enlisted in the army and now you're surprised to find that you're getting shot at. I know I share my part by kissing her against the rules, but she doesn't help too much either. Did she want you to kiss her in public? Imagine if you were driving a car and she was in the passenger seat. A cop comes up behind you and signals you to pull over, but you don't want to stop because you've got drugs on you, and a chase ensues. She didn't have anything to do with the drugs and wants you to stop, but you won't. You're implicating her in the crime even though she has nothing to do with it. It's the same thing, assuming she didn't want you to kiss her. I don't blame her for being upset, as stupid as I think is that you can't kiss in public. She knows the rules and she wants to abide by them. If you're not ok with the rules, leave the school. If you're not ok with your girlfriend's adherence to the rules, leave your girlfriend. Edited March 30, 2016 by normal person 1
BikerAccnt Posted March 30, 2016 Posted March 30, 2016 This alone - were I an American - would make me question why I would be still living in America.... Yeah, I suppose I could go live in...say Saudi Arabia or somewhere... 1
Lady2163 Posted March 30, 2016 Posted March 30, 2016 These rules aren't asinine or cult like, this is what conservative Christianity is. Come to think of it, I know very few liberal Christian ministers who are going to encourage pre marital sex or living together. This is the path you've chosen for this time in your life. I'm not sure if this was your only scholarship or of your parents refused to help if you attended a public school, but again this is what you've chosen. It isn't for the rest of your life. It is only for the time you have left in school. The purpose is to focus on your studies and excelling in that area. I'm sure you and many of your classmates face an internal struggle of biology versus belief. Sociologists believe we have two drives, hunger and sexual. Sexuality can be stifled and gratification delayed. This has the potential to develop your emotional maturity, but I wonder if you will be uncomfortable around people who haven't experienced this sort of social control. I wonder if it will limit your ability to network with those outside the bubble.
BikerAccnt Posted March 30, 2016 Posted March 30, 2016 These rules aren't asinine or cult like, this is what conservative Christianity is. Come to think of it, I know very few liberal Christian ministers who are going to encourage pre marital sex or living together. . Exactly. We on loveshack, with our liberal views on sexuality, are not necessarily the norm in the country. Most of the country, is still rather sexually conservative. 1
jasmineb Posted March 30, 2016 Posted March 30, 2016 Many of these colleges and schools are founded by churches or church groups who add to the Bible words in the form of legalism. If the Bible says not to be drunk they will say it is a sin to drink any. If the Bible says a woman shouldn't be just concerned about her hair or appearance they will say pants are a sin. If the Bible says not to engage in sex outside of marriage they will say all physical contact is sin. They use peer pressure and guilt and manipulation to keep people in line but fortunately there is a generation who isn't afraid to ask questions now. There is a college near where I used to live that had restrictions about how close you could sit to one another, and students could not go on private dates until the senior year. In addition they were close to a beach, and yet the male and female students were prohibited from being at the same part of the beach due to lust. The Bible says not to add to Scriptures so what these groups are doing is actually wrong.
Recommended Posts