HansonGirl Posted March 30, 2016 Posted March 30, 2016 ...or does the surface lie? This sort of ties to the other thread I started about people who say upfront that they do not want a relationship and that it's never going to go anywhere serious and then expect you to go along with it. I guess the reason I've been thinking about it is because someone from my past was brought up in my life again. This guy "Mike" did that - and at first I REALLY respected that he was straight forward and honest, and I told him very openly and honestly that I cannot go out with him again and I cannot hook up with him. (I know that sounds lame but that's what he was after). I can't remember exactly what I said but I remember being really impressed with my eloquence. lol. But the problem is I think he was either not expecting me to stay true to my word or that he was really resentful of me for "rejecting" his advances. He actually turned into a bully towards me, as if we were in high school. For example, he would talk about me loudly in the student lounge so I could hear, and another time at a friend's apartment party, he practically tried to stick his socked foot in my face and pestered me to the point another guy-friend had to stick up for me. Another time he shadowed me when he spotted me one night and tried to intimidate me. I witnessed how he treated other girls after that happened, and it was pretty sad - after hooking up with a girl, "Pamela" - i don't know the WHOLE story, but i suspect it was similar- he probably told her he didnt want anything serious. She got attached, and at the big dance- he starts making out with the first drunk chick "Susie" he sees, openly, in full view of Pamela. Pamela was very upset and confronted him and it did not end well - she told me how much she "hated" him... yet she continued to hang out with him as a friend after that... i was confused Meanwhile, now Susie starts showing up at the get-togethers and he flirts with other girls in front of her and she gets upset, and then he somehow convinces Susie to go home with him - probably because everyone was drunk by then. Not sure what happened with Susie but i'd see her every now and again - she was a friend of one of our friends. To another girl he slept with him then bragged that he called her 2 hours later to tell her that he didn't like her any more. He would however still flirt with her and told her he wanted to be friends with her. I must say witnessing all this made me feel like i made the right decision about him even though i felt like garbage by being rejected at the outset and that he bullied me and made me feel bad... i think it'd be worse if i got involved with him like these girls did. And honestly - I don't understand what is so attractive about this guy - i mean does he have a golden, magic penus? or is it because he plays with their minds and makes them jealous and pits them against each other? i was really fascinated by the whole thing i must admit! I never really saw anything quite like it. I feel like I saw his ugly, mean side with the way he treated me - and it scared me and realized he's NOT a good person ok now to get to my point - and you are probably wondering how i know all this, and why i am even asking this - i know it because it's kind of a tight knit group and friends with key people in the group. and the reason for my question I am about to ask is that i guess i am just so confused and surprised that i just have to ask - well so he did actually get into relationships before, and the ones i know of were both blonde beauties. he has said he likes blondes. He was with one for over three years! well I recently have seen our group of friends, and i met his current girlfriend of over a year - she is a somewhat heavy-set girl with olive skin and black hair and i guess you can say - average looks. I am not trying to disrespect this girl by any means - I only met her briefly and she seems very sweet - but I guess i was surprised because she doesn't seem like the bombshell blonde beauty he has gone out with. I know it's not my business but i guess because i am still bitter with how he harrassed me for almost a year, and what I know about his charm and ability to cause love triangles, how he'd end up with this girl. is he perhaps a nice guy now who is not a jerk and not shallow, only into thin, hot blondes? Please don't hate me for asking this question. It's just a question ok! I am only asking because i guess i would've expected him to be with another blonde beauty. I know nobody here can possibly know. but perhaps you knew someone who was a player/jerk in the past but reformed and now is a good guy? that would be nice if that's the case - i am sort of HOPING he is nice now ,because i am dreading seeing him again (which i likely will)
Poppyolive Posted March 30, 2016 Posted March 30, 2016 Thank goodness you didn't get caught up in the mess and the crazy rollercoaster ride of emotions, that I would imagine, go with a guy, like this. Good for you. As for him harassing you, that sucks. I guess he is one that has a sense of entitlement, and you bruised his ego. I guessing you're all young? He'll probably remain like this for some years yet. I think underneath it all he is struggling, perhaps with self esteem issues. But that's not your problem. Stay clear. As for types, it can differ for everyone. I usually like a heavier guy with facial hair, the bfg type, but I've dated super skinny. From Nerdy to popular, sporty types. Some people stick with their preferences, others mix it up. No rules. Hope this helps
Buddhist Posted March 30, 2016 Posted March 30, 2016 Life 101 - young people, under 25, are frequently jerks until they learn better. For women that growing up stage often happens around age 25 for guys late 20's to early 30's as a gross generalisation. That behaviour sounds like high school so I'm not surprised by it, nor would I be surprised if he's grown out of it. It's possible he's simply grown out of it, or it's possible that he's still a jerk and doing jerk-like things to his current girlfriend as well. Jerks have been known to have longterm relationships and treat their partners poorly too. Who knows....
Author HansonGirl Posted March 30, 2016 Author Posted March 30, 2016 Life 101 - young people, under 25, are frequently jerks until they learn better. For women that growing up stage often happens around age 25 for guys late 20's to early 30's as a gross generalisation. That behaviour sounds like high school so I'm not surprised by it, nor would I be surprised if he's grown out of it. It's possible he's simply grown out of it, or it's possible that he's still a jerk and doing jerk-like things to his current girlfriend as well. Jerks have been known to have longterm relationships and treat their partners poorly too. Who knows.... haha. yeah there really isn't a clear answer - can't expect anybody here to know! but i want to note that he was OVER the age of 25 at the time these events took place. he was between the ages of 26 and 28. This was graduate school believe it or not!
Recommended Posts