Zippy2000 Posted March 30, 2016 Posted March 30, 2016 Just want to clarify... I DIDN'T SLEEP WITH THIS MAN. I repeat: I DID NOT SLEEP WITH THIS MAN. Sounds like the previous President of the USA Bill Clinton on Monica Lewinsky: "I did not have any sexual relations with that woman. I repeat........" LOL https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KiIP_KDQmXs 3
katiegrl Posted March 30, 2016 Posted March 30, 2016 Yeah funnily enough I feel 'chemistry' with every bikini model I meet. Well there ya go then! Who says you don't feel it!
neowulf Posted March 30, 2016 Posted March 30, 2016 Yeah funnily enough I feel 'chemistry' with every bikini model I meet. Chemistry is the subconscious identification of deep compatibility on physiological and psychological level. It's the thing that allows people you've just met to feel like you've known them for years. Where you finish each others sentences. When the other person comes out with something that resonates so clearly with your own thoughts that it's as if they read your mind. When there's a deep, unspoken understanding. When everything feels easy and light. The jokes flow freely, the conversations run for hours and are effortless. It's as if being with each other is the most natural thing in the world. Like two magnets being pulled towards each other. I'm willing to acknowledge some people seem incapable of experiencing what I've described above, but I assure you, it is very, very real. 3
Mccoy321 Posted March 30, 2016 Posted March 30, 2016 Chemistry is the subconscious identification of deep compatibility on physiological and psychological level. It's the thing that allows people you've just met to feel like you've known them for years. Where you finish each others sentences. When the other person comes out with something that resonates so clearly with your own thoughts that it's as if they read your mind. When there's a deep, unspoken understanding. When everything feels easy and light. The jokes flow freely, the conversations run for hours and are effortless. It's as if being with each other is the most natural thing in the world. Like two magnets being pulled towards each other. I'm willing to acknowledge some people seem incapable of experiencing what I've described above, but I assure you, it is very, very real. Basically you get on well with someone.
Mccoy321 Posted March 30, 2016 Posted March 30, 2016 As far as I can tell, the most successful men are those that fake chemistry the best. Women fall for that **** all the time.
katiegrl Posted March 30, 2016 Posted March 30, 2016 (edited) Chemistry is the subconscious identification of deep compatibility on physiological and psychological level. It's the thing that allows people you've just met to feel like you've known them for years. Where you finish each others sentences. When the other person comes out with something that resonates so clearly with your own thoughts that it's as if they read your mind. When there's a deep, unspoken understanding. When everything feels easy and light. The jokes flow freely, the conversations run for hours and are effortless. It's as if being with each other is the most natural thing in the world. Like two magnets being pulled towards each other. I'm willing to acknowledge some people seem incapable of experiencing what I've described above, but I assure you, it is very, very real. I like that! I also define it as a certain energy generating between two people (yup just like in science... hence the word chemistry!), and it doesn't have to necessarily be romantic and/or sexual energy either. I have known women with whom I feel immediate chemistry too... and that is when I knew we would be friends for a long long time. You just feel that certain immediate click with certain people... . more so than with others, or not at all with certain people too. And it's not based on looks, not based on status, not based on what type of car they drive, or their job, etc. It's their energy connecting with your energy on a deeper level... which like neowulf said results in both feeling a certain comfort level with each other.... as if they'e known each other for a long long time, even though they just met! Sure go ahead and laugh Mccoy, I already know many find that notion "hokey" or whatever.... which is certainly your and their prerogative. You are free to believe or not believe whatever you wish... I respect that. Just as I would hope you would respect what I and others believe even though it doesn't jive with your beliefs. Edited March 30, 2016 by katiegrl 2
Jabron1 Posted March 30, 2016 Posted March 30, 2016 Thanks, Jersey. I was a little curious about your background after reading those two PMs that you sent, so thank you for sharing. They were definitely eye-opening. I want to read them now
Author Lovelorn00 Posted March 30, 2016 Author Posted March 30, 2016 Sounds like the previous President of the USA Bill Clinton on Monica Lewinsky: "I did not have any sexual relations with that woman. I repeat........" LOL https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KiIP_KDQmXs HAH!! I didn't' realize that, but yes, it does. Haha! Except I'm telling the truth! 1
Jabron1 Posted March 30, 2016 Posted March 30, 2016 HAH!! I didn't' realize that, but yes, it does. Haha! Except I'm telling the truth! We believe you... ...you sly devil you 2
Mccoy321 Posted March 30, 2016 Posted March 30, 2016 We believe you ...you sly devil you Yeah, he says you didn't do much sleeping...
Author Lovelorn00 Posted March 30, 2016 Author Posted March 30, 2016 I want to read them now Just sent!
Author Lovelorn00 Posted March 30, 2016 Author Posted March 30, 2016 Yeah, he says you didn't do much sleeping... WOMP!
neowulf Posted March 30, 2016 Posted March 30, 2016 Basically you get on well with someone. See my point about some being unable to experience it. It is far far more than just "getting on well" with someone. I get on "well" with lots of people. I don't have chemistry with lots of people. That's like describing your happiest memory as "nice". 2
thecrucible Posted March 31, 2016 Posted March 31, 2016 Chemistry is the subconscious identification of deep compatibility on physiological and psychological level. It's the thing that allows people you've just met to feel like you've known them for years. Where you finish each others sentences. When the other person comes out with something that resonates so clearly with your own thoughts that it's as if they read your mind. When there's a deep, unspoken understanding. When everything feels easy and light. The jokes flow freely, the conversations run for hours and are effortless. It's as if being with each other is the most natural thing in the world. Like two magnets being pulled towards each other. I'm willing to acknowledge some people seem incapable of experiencing what I've described above, but I assure you, it is very, very real. I agree with this. I associate the feeling of chemistry with a strong feeling of commonality and that you think and connect along the same lines. It's hard to describe but you can feel it. It doesn't mean you have everything in common but it's when you meet a person who experiences the world in kind of the same way you do - it's weird. I've never seen chemistry as something based on looks - that's false chemistry. And I know it's not simply getting on with someone as I get on with plenty of people I meet. I suppose that because I'm an introvert it's hard to find others like me and when I meet a man similarly minded then I notice it. As an introvert, I feel I have to have a deep emotional connection (not all men are into that though). Saying that, I think that doubts in the beginning don't necessarily mean less chemistry. I'm much less likely to be swayed by the uncertainty of whether a man is into me and more likely now to get to know a guy who makes it known he likes me. To get back to topic, all I know is that the longer I'm alive, the more I meet assh*s and the more cognisant I become of others' agendas and how that influences behaviour. When I'm not frustrated I shrug and laugh it off but it can be horrible when a distrustful person turns up out of nowhere. OP I experienced the same as you 18 months ago. I was at peak confidence and it felt like nothing could get in my way, had no thought of finding a man and then suddenly he came along. I'm still recovering my confidence from the assh* treatment. 1
bluefeather Posted March 31, 2016 Posted March 31, 2016 I think we're all just so afraid of so many things. It causes men and women to act in ways that can hurt others. It's very sad, and I can relate to that experience from the other side of the sex. Women have hurt me, but I will still hold true that there is a sweet and wonderful girl for me somewhere. The guy may have been an a-hole, but maybe one day you will meet a kind and mature version of that guy. And he won't be. Yeah this is a weird age we live in with new technology that brings all kinds of instant gratification. But deep down inside, it cannot change the heart's desire to love and be loved. The desire is still there. Maybe it's not online. Maybe it's not in a club. Maybe it's really afraid of the world and it stays inside, day-dreaming about the point of life, typing private notes that could make a few chapters of a book that won't ever be finished. Maybe it will come out for a walk in the park one day and admire the beauty of nature, and feel the bitter-sweetness of loving life so much and not being beside someone who loves it too. maybe i should go to bed. I hope you find who you're looking for. I hope we all do. 2
Versacehottie Posted March 31, 2016 Posted March 31, 2016 (edited) I'm so sick of being faded on, stood up, ghosted on, lied to, cheated on, and just generally emotionally stomped on by guys. I stopped dating a couple of months ago for this reason. I can no longer trust men. Like, at all. I've been told my whole dating life that my "picker" is broken, but I'm not picking these guys. They're picking me, because I apparently have "please treat me like crap" written on my forehead. Sorry for the rant, but I ran into a Casanova over the weekend who spent two days wooing me and lying to me in attempt to get me into bed and then ghosted. I wasn't even trying this time. I'm not actively looking for dates or a relationship like I used to be. I was just out, enjoying my life, minding my own business, and I still managed to get blindsided by an a*****e. That's on me for getting my hopes up, but I'm just kinda sick of it. This bolded it what stood out to me in the latest of what's happened to you. I have one question for you: why are you getting your hopes up about a guy you have known two days? I don't even need to know what kind of person he is or what bad thing he's done. You need to let people into your life and your hopes a little bit at a time and only more if they've proven themselves to you. I'm not saying you can't be excited or go with the flow. But there should be no real investment. No future thoughts. Sounds extreme but when you repeatedly come back to the thoughts you are having I don't really see another way. You need to have fun with these guys and take their shenanigans with a grain of salt...as they're happening. I believe in some way you showed your hand to him about your "hopes". The smart way to go about it is to not get that invested. He's fun, he's amusing. I can't take him seriously because I've known him around 48 hours. That's what I would do. I think I remember you like concerts or festivals, right? Haven't you ever been at some event like that and the whole thing is a fun blur with friends, new acquaintances, guys you make out with, whatever? In a situation like that your mindset isn't really about getting your hopes up or finding the right guy. It's just having fun; no expectation of how anyone you meet would end up in your life. Try that approach. Good luck Edited March 31, 2016 by Versacehottie 2
Zippy2000 Posted March 31, 2016 Posted March 31, 2016 (edited) Ha! This is very true. The a******e didn't suddenly appear within the last few decades. Male and female a******s have been around since the dawn of... well... a******s. I think a lot of folks will admit, though - dating is hard, and I would argue that it's a lot harder now than it's ever been. The odds are stacked against folks like me who are looking for a LTR in an age where LTRs are fading away. Are there guys out there who are looking for the same thing I am? Sure there are, but finding one who I’m compatible with (attraction, values, morals, goals, hobbies) feels a lot like finding a needle in an incredibly large haystack. This is one of my favorite commentaries on the subject. It's a little controversial, but it really hits home with me. I agree with you. Dating is harder nowadays. In my opinion people are either emptionally damaged from all these dating sites people go on. Youve got Grinder or Tinder. Also as you grow older your dating pool shrinks. Im 41 now and have a few stories to tell about "OLD". Women these days prefer young men and there is fierce competition online. We are no one of many cogs in a huge dating machine. Im tired too o being let down and mucjked about or cheated on. Im real tired. Edited March 31, 2016 by Zippy2000 1
Mccoy321 Posted March 31, 2016 Posted March 31, 2016 And who benefits from the morass of OLD? Oh yes, huge corporations. Manufacturing demand for something which each of us do every day - meeting people. Yet people pay to do so online. Crazy. 1
Author Lovelorn00 Posted March 31, 2016 Author Posted March 31, 2016 I think we're all just so afraid of so many things. It causes men and women to act in ways that can hurt others. It's very sad, and I can relate to that experience from the other side of the sex. Women have hurt me, but I will still hold true that there is a sweet and wonderful girl for me somewhere. The guy may have been an a-hole, but maybe one day you will meet a kind and mature version of that guy. And he won't be. Yeah this is a weird age we live in with new technology that brings all kinds of instant gratification. But deep down inside, it cannot change the heart's desire to love and be loved. The desire is still there. Maybe it's not online. Maybe it's not in a club. Maybe it's really afraid of the world and it stays inside, day-dreaming about the point of life, typing private notes that could make a few chapters of a book that won't ever be finished. Maybe it will come out for a walk in the park one day and admire the beauty of nature, and feel the bitter-sweetness of loving life so much and not being beside someone who loves it too. maybe i should go to bed. I hope you find who you're looking for. I hope we all do. Beautifully said.
Author Lovelorn00 Posted March 31, 2016 Author Posted March 31, 2016 This bolded it what stood out to me in the latest of what's happened to you. I have one question for you: why are you getting your hopes up about a guy you have known two days? I don't even need to know what kind of person he is or what bad thing he's done. You need to let people into your life and your hopes a little bit at a time and only more if they've proven themselves to you. I'm not saying you can't be excited or go with the flow. But there should be no real investment. No future thoughts. Sounds extreme but when you repeatedly come back to the thoughts you are having I don't really see another way. You need to have fun with these guys and take their shenanigans with a grain of salt...as they're happening. I believe in some way you showed your hand to him about your "hopes". The smart way to go about it is to not get that invested. He's fun, he's amusing. I can't take him seriously because I've known him around 48 hours. That's what I would do. I think I remember you like concerts or festivals, right? Haven't you ever been at some event like that and the whole thing is a fun blur with friends, new acquaintances, guys you make out with, whatever? In a situation like that your mindset isn't really about getting your hopes up or finding the right guy. It's just having fun; no expectation of how anyone you meet would end up in your life. Try that approach. Good luck But I didn’t let him into my life. I didn’t invest anything (but a kiss and a little bit of my time), and I didn’t fall in love with him. I wasn’t envisioning our wedding or our future babies. He said things that made me think we’d be enjoying each other’s company again. Now that I’m realizing the lies, it just sucks. It sucks to be lied to by anyone – male or female. Like I mentioned before – I don’t regret the weekend. I had an absolute blast, and hell - this dude paid for everything for the entire weekend, so I really can’t complain. There was just a glimmer of hope in the back of my mind that there could be something there, and I think that’s a totally natural, human thing to feel. That’s what single, straight females do when they meet an attractive, single, straight male. It’s biological. It’s chemical. We’re sizing each other up as potential mates. He was well-versed in the art of running game and successfully tricked my primate brain into thinking he was mate-worthy. Well, not “successfully,” since I didn’t sleep with him. I mean, I totally see your point, but that’s not really something that I think I can control.
Author Lovelorn00 Posted March 31, 2016 Author Posted March 31, 2016 I agree with you. Dating is harder nowadays. In my opinion people are either emptionally damaged from all these dating sites people go on. Youve got Grinder or Tinder. Also as you grow older your dating pool shrinks. Im 41 now and have a few stories to tell about "OLD". Women these days prefer young men and there is fierce competition online. We are no one of many cogs in a huge dating machine. Im tired too o being let down and mucjked about or cheated on. Im real tired. Amen. I'm tired, too. That's why I started this thread. I'm just... tired. The idea of going on another date makes me want to vomit.
Author Lovelorn00 Posted March 31, 2016 Author Posted March 31, 2016 And who benefits from the morass of OLD? Oh yes, huge corporations. Manufacturing demand for something which each of us do every day - meeting people. Yet people pay to do so online. Crazy. Oh yes. Whoever invented Tinder is rolling in it. I'm jealous.
Author Lovelorn00 Posted March 31, 2016 Author Posted March 31, 2016 I'd also like to add, just as a general update, that I've not heard from him in any way since Sunday (it is now Thursday).
katiegrl Posted March 31, 2016 Posted March 31, 2016 (edited) I'd also like to add, just as a general update, that I've not heard from him in any way since Sunday (it is now Thursday). Just curious but have you contacted him? I mean he did take you out, spend money, etc.... so wondering if you ever contacted him and thanked him for the great time? Reading this board, it's been advised (by the men) that doing that after a great date (especially when the guy planned it and spent a lot of $$) is a good idea and that a man actually needs that, or at the very least, would appreciate it. Just a quick text thanking him for the great time, tis all. It takes two after all. I don't know, just playing devil's advocate here. But then again, he could be just a d-wad. Edited March 31, 2016 by katiegrl 1
Jejangles Posted March 31, 2016 Posted March 31, 2016 Yes LL, I'm also curious... How did you guys end things? You said you had made plans for this week-end but aren't holding your breath. What sort of plans did you make? My now boyfriend and I had a pattern for the first month. We would have a date, have a brief chat via text after the first date making a plan for the next date then have no contact until the day before or day of to confirm the date. That worked for me, I didn't want to be in constant contact until we were further into the relationship. Now we are three months in and in contact in some form every day, for a lot of the day. But we definitely started slow.
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