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Got [a woman] pregnant

Johncaribou

By Johncaribou
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Aniela Established Member

Aniela

Posted
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Three nights in a row she has called with no answer.

 

No response to texts. At this point, she should be hanging her head and realizing what she is doing. A week of space would have given me at least time to decide how to handle this.

 

I think you have things backwards.

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Satu Established Member

Satu

Posted
Posted
Three nights in a row she has called with no answer.

 

No response to texts. At this point, she should be hanging her head and realizing what she is doing. A week of space would have given me at least time to decide how to handle this.

Why don't you tell her that you need a week to think, then?

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Johncaribou Member

Johncaribou

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Ok, so I answer, then say " thanks for letting me know. Do not contact me ever again?"

stillafool Established Member

stillafool

Posted
Posted
Three nights in a row she has called with no answer.

 

No response to texts. At this point, she should be hanging her head and realizing what she is doing. A week of space would have given me at least time to decide how to handle this.

 

You do realize that by ignoring her calls you are putting your future in her hands don't you? This is the point where you can voice what you want from this which I assume is abortion. If you continue like this you are going to have a baby whether you want one or not. If you have a baby your ex will probably never come back.

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stillafool Established Member

stillafool

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Ok, so I answer, then say " thanks for letting me know. Do not contact me ever again?"

 

Thanks for what? Is she pregnant?

elaine567 Established Member

elaine567

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Ok, so I answer, then say " thanks for letting me know. Do not contact me ever again?"

 

YOU are panicked, and not thinking straight as you do not want her to mess up stuff with your ex, but your ex I guess will find out anyway. The longer you keep this woman at arm's length, the more likely this is to blow up in your face. Angry, upset, frustrated people are loose cannons, they are capable of anything.

You have got this woman pregnant, and you need to talk to her like an ADULT.

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upnorth Member

upnorth

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This is actually sickening to me. She said she would go alone and pay for the procedure? She has essentially told you that if she keeps the child she wants nothing from you? Maybe right now she is trying to be ethical in letting you know the pregnancy miscarried? ( if that is what it is).

 

She is now telling you she has considered other options and just wants to know if you have any strong opinions ?

 

This woman is doing nothing wrong. Nothing.

 

And I think the whole " she's crazy and wants me back " can just stop. " I don't want a child with you, can you sign over parental rights " speaks pretty loud and clear how she feels about you. Sorry.

  • Like 6
strawberryshortstack Established Member

strawberryshortstack

Posted
Posted
Three nights in a row she has called with no answer.

 

No response to texts. At this point, she should be hanging her head and realizing what she is doing. A week of space would have given me at least time to decide how to handle this.

 

 

Then TELL her you need space. It's called communication, and learning how to do it will serve you very well now and in the future. Tell her "Listen, I'd like to help out however I can, but I need some time to think. Please let me be for now and I'll contact you when I'm in a better position to discuss this." However, if an abortion is to happen, time is of the essence, so don't make her wait too long or it might be too late, and then you may very well be on the hook for child support.

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Satu Established Member

Satu

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OP:

 

If you want to further your own best interests and influence the outcome of this situation, the absolute BEST thing you could do is pick up the phone and call her yourself.

 

By ignoring her you are doing yourself a disservice.

 

Can you not see that?

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Jabron1 Established Member

Jabron1

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" I don't want a child with you, can you sign over parental rights " speaks pretty loud and clear how she feels about you. Sorry.

 

If that really is her attitude (I'm not so sure), then I will take back what I said earlier. OP is completely justified in going no contact, and just moving on with his life.

upnorth Member

upnorth

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It sounds to me as though she is stunned and not sure what to do, and trying to make this as easy as possible for him.

 

She in all honesty, probably presented that so that he wouldn't feel pressured or trapped.

 

Most men would at least offer to pay for the procedure.

 

Keep in mind, 36 is not young. She is probably feeling tired, nauseous, hormonal, and in all reality panicked.

 

You said you were friends at one point. I'm not sure why she hasn't told you where to go.

 

The comment about you getting angry while having sex because she asked to kiss you? Then she tried to collect her belongings? I think she's in a place where she realized she was pregnant around the same time your true colours showed.

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Johncaribou Member

Johncaribou

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Did you keep harassing the man involved?

sandylee1 Established Member

sandylee1

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Straight up tell her how you feel instead of ducking and diving.

 

Tell her you don't want the baby. She'll decide what she wants ..but let your views be known.

 

It's well known that women have faked pregnancies in the past. Women have bought positive test results from others and also bought urine of a pregnant woman to deceive men. Talk less of those who use scan pictures of the Internet ......so yes..she could well be lying to you.

 

She's not an inexperienced young girl and I may get some flack for this .... BUT .... I personally believe that in a relationship women should take the higher degree of responsibility to ensure they don't have an unwanted pregnancy ..... as it impacts them way more (unless it's a MM having an affair ... then he should be even more careful)

 

When the new life is growing inside you .... you can't escape it like the man can. The OP as a man can up and leave the area ... change his number and disappear from her life..... especially as this is a casual relationship.

 

You choose the father of your child with care .... you take the precautions not to get pregnant..because quite literally.. as a woman .. you are left holding the baby.

 

OP ... with that said..declining her calls isn't the answer.

 

Tell her you

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upnorth Member

upnorth

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I have not been in contact. I do not care what he thinks or how he feels , though, until he gives me a reason to take it into consideration.

 

She obviously, for whatever her reasons, does care to know what you think.

Jabron1 Established Member

Jabron1

Posted
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She's not an inexperienced young girl and I may get some flack for this .... BUT .... I personally believe that in a relationship women should take the higher degree of responsibility to ensure they don't have an unwanted pregnancy ..... as it impacts them way more

 

Women have been controlling the birth control since the pill and the sexual revolution.

 

If only men could have a little pill to take after the heat of the moment had worn off...

Satu Established Member

Satu

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Click > Thump > Bang.

 

 

(The sound of Satu ejecting from this thread.)

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Johncaribou Member

Johncaribou

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I DID talk to her! I had her over last Monday evening specifically to talk about this!

losangelena Established Member

losangelena

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Click > Thump > Bang.

 

 

(The sound of Satu ejecting from this thread.)

 

I'm clinging to your parachute! :sick::sick::sick:

  • Like 3
introverted1 Established Member

introverted1

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My ex whom I actually loved has come back into the picture. I don't want to mess it up. She doesn't know about this, should I tell her?

 

Not my ex, I mean the woman who is claiming she is pregnant by me.

 

Huh?

 

Who is back in the picture?

 

You got woman A pregnant. At the same time woman B, who you were previously involved with, came back into the picture?

 

Is that right?

 

You think that if you ignore A hard enough, you can somehow make the BABY go away? And that B won't find out?

 

OP, your thinking here is really unrealised... and unrealistic. If A is pregnant with your baby, she holds all the cards. She can abort, have it, file for child support, whatever she wants. You have no choice in any of it, except whether you will be a father to the child you created.

 

But you can't wish or will it away. The police are likely to take a dim view of a guy who refuses to talk to the woman he impregnated, as are the courts.

 

It is in your own best interest to participate in what happens next.

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Aniela Established Member

Aniela

Posted
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Women have been controlling the birth control since the pill and the sexual revolution.

 

If only men could have a little pill to take after the heat of the moment had worn off...

 

:sick:

 

............

  • Like 5
Jabron1 Established Member

Jabron1

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:sick:

 

............

 

?

 

............

stillafool Established Member

stillafool

Posted
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Ok, so I answer, then say " thanks for letting me know. Do not contact me ever again?"

 

From the sound of this, it seems like the baby is no longer around. If so, he was correct in telling her to no longer contact him. This needs to be over.

RecentChange Established Member

RecentChange

Posted
Posted (edited)

And this, ladies and gentlemen is why it's important to have a discussion regarding "what will happen" in the event of an unplanned pregnancy BEFORE you have sex.

 

I guess it's easier for me, because I am pro-choice and do not wish to have children. But I also want to make sure I am never left making a decision that is against his will....

 

So, before sex I have a quick, "by the way, I am NEVER having kids.... If something were to happen....I want to make sure you are on board with that" talk..... Then of course USE PROTECTION so hopefully you are never painted into that corner!

 

Dudes, if you want your best chance of avoiding one of these life changing scenarios, wrap it up

Edited by RecentChange
  • Like 5
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
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