Got [a woman] pregnant

[GorillaTheater]

Can I call the police if she shows up at my place?

 

 

Oh come on, man. If I was one of the cops who showed up I might accidently tase you.

 

 

Just listen to her.

[elaine567]

can i call the police if she shows up at my place?

 

what....????

[hotgurl]

Then if you want her out of your life, this is exactly what you need to do, ASAP. You might actually want to contact your own lawyer to have the papers drawn up for you to ensure that your rights are fully protected.

 

Most state won't let you sign away parental rights unless there is another party willing to adopt the child.

[Johncaribou]

Is this not the oldest game in the book?

 

I decide after argument I need space. I am avoiding her. She is an intelligent woman, I will give her that. She knew.

 

All of a sudden she's pregnant?

 

Now that I haven't given into her endless texts , all of a sudden she had good news???

 

Isn't this a little too obvious?

[GorillaTheater]

Is this not the oldest game in the book?

 

I decide after argument I need space. I am avoiding her. She is an intelligent woman, I will give her that. She knew.

 

All of a sudden she's pregnant?

 

Now that I haven't given into her endless texts , all of a sudden she had good news???

 

Isn't this a little too obvious?

 

 

You're the one who witnessed a positive test, not me. In the short term, give her the benefit of the doubt.

 

 

Who knows, she may be lying. But be a stand-up guy in the meantime.

[Jabron1]

Can I call the police if she shows up at my place?

 

No.

 

You keep saying that she's harassing you, but you haven't told her not to contact you. So it's not harassment.

 

Look, it's your move. But, you will have to face this at some point.

[despgirl]

Can I call the police if she shows up at my place?

 

WOW. Just wow. If I ever dated a man who did this to a woman he got pregnant, I would dump him. Be a MAN and listen to what she has to say.

[strawberryshortstack]

Is this not the oldest game in the book?

 

I decide after argument I need space. I am avoiding her. She is an intelligent woman, I will give her that. She knew.

 

All of a sudden she's pregnant?

 

Now that I haven't given into her endless texts , all of a sudden she had good news???

 

Isn't this a little too obvious?

 

There's only one thing obvious here - that you are clearly not mature enough to be having sex (protected or unprotected).

[stillafool]

Is this not the oldest game in the book?

 

I decide after argument I need space. I am avoiding her. She is an intelligent woman, I will give her that. She knew.

 

All of a sudden she's pregnant?

 

Now that I haven't given into her endless texts , all of a sudden she had good news???

 

Isn't this a little too obvious?

 

Why don't you call her she may have gotten her period and then you can let her go. I have to say it does look like this woman has been throwing herself at you like a major league pitcher. However, that is no excuse to not wear a condom with a woman you know you don't want other than sex. No do not tell her about your ex coming back into your life until all of this is settled. She wants you and will be jealous if she finds out you are going to give another woman what she wants. Just call her because it may be really good news and if she's still pregnant express to her that you want the abortion. That's really all you can do at this point.

[Babs22]

John,

You have no grounds to call the cops if she comes over unless she is starts losing it. So far, it doesn't sound like that has been an issue. You can not call the cops just because you don't want to talk about a possible pregnancy. You said you saw the pregnancy test turn while it sat on your counter. If you, this woman and all of us can be so lucky, her good news is that she miscarried today. You won't know if you don't talk to her.

 

If you call the cops without reason, and there seems to be no reason here, they could charge you for making a false claim to needing help. Don't the cops have a lot more to worry about than a girl you may have knocked up? There are actual murderers and people who are having real emergencies out there. Unless your life is in danger or she is causing damage to your property leave the cops out of it.

 

Also, since you don't like this girl and you think she is crazy, please learn a hard lesson here. Do not have unprotected sex with someone you don't truly care for. If you don't want to spend time with someone, co-parenting would suck. And yes, it doesn't matter if you have a job or not, a court can order child support. If you don't pay it, you can end up in jail. I know personally of someone who was out of work so long, they didn't make payments and they went to jail.

 

So please, please, please no more unprotected sex or think about getting a vasectomy so this won't happen again. Thank you.

[kendahke]

This has more to do with you wanting to get your ex back than it does you not wanting to talk to her because you're afraid if your ex gets wind of this pregnancy, you know it's over for good. If your ex wasn't orbiting, you'd probably be dealing with this mess you got yourself into.

 

And the truth will come out when it's least convenient for you. Best to own up to what you were grown enough to do and take your butt whippin' for it.

[seekingpeaceinlove]

Be a decent person and talk to the woman that you alledgedly impregnated. Ignoring her and being unkind when speaking to her will not bode well for you if she does indeed decide to keep the baby. She could easily go after you for child support out of spite even if you swear off your parental rights from the getgo.

 

If you disliked her so much you shouldn't have hopped in bed with her again and again. If she ends up not being pregant, do both of you a favor and end contact. It's really not okay to treat someone the way you've treated this woman. If she makes you that angry or she annoys you..WALK AWAY.

 

It's that simple.

 

For now, talk to her and stop being rude if you want an amicable resolution to this situation. Hopefully you two will be on the same page.

 

Good luck.

[losangelena]

OP, I'm having a hard time understanding why it is you're so adamant against having a discussion with this woman, wherein you clearly state your disinterest in being involved and you make it clear that you no longer want any further communication as it pertains to how she's handling this pregnancy.

 

In case you hadn't noticed, ignoring your problems don't make them go away. If that fetus is half yours, you have some obligation, whether you really want it or not. However, that's not the same thing as allowing this woman to lean on you for emotional support. You need to make that clear to her—that she should look elsewhere.

 

I think that if you get yourself involved with all the inherent risk of having unprotected sex with a 36 year old woman, you should be mature enough to have a clear and constructive conversation. Your attitude frankly upsets me, but what you do is not my business.

[Satu]

There's no way of making any progress without some willingness to communicate.

[Rejected Rosebud]

I am unemployed. She is paying for the procedure herself. Child support is not something I am doing.

If she has a baby and takes this before a judge, child support IS something you WILL be doing! :bunny: That's what happens to people who make babies, they have to be responsible for them!

[Rejected Rosebud]

Disagree with that.

You disagree with the statement that she didn't get pregnant alone??

[Johncaribou]

She tried calling. Obviously she has no control or boundaries. If she miscarried, she can text that.

 

If she has an abortion, she already told me that she would go alone, pay for it, and only needed to be picked up. I looked up the website and it does state they need a driver. I told her I would do that.

 

 

Anything else, she can do whatever she needs to do in 8 months.

 

She has called the past three nights.

[Mrin]

If she has a baby and takes this before a judge, child support IS something you WILL be doing! :bunny: That's what happens to people who make babies, they have to be responsible for them!

 

Have to agree. If you're the father you will get hit for child support. Just how it is.

 

Best advice to you would be to be in contact with her and help support her through the decision making process. Right now what you're doing isn't working and you are having zero impact on the outcome.

[Rejected Rosebud]

Lets be straight. 36 year old women is sleeping around with one or more men, using no birth control whatsoever. Personally, I don't believe in 'accidental pregnancies'.

 

So you are saying that the OP got her pregnant on purpose??

 

The most important decision a woman can make in life is 'who will be the father of my children?'. This woman has chosen an unemployed guy, whom she enjoys smoking weed and having casual sex with. They don't even have a proper relationship.

So what? For some reason, the OP saw her as a person he was willing to create a child with. His choice.

[Satu]

Snip

 

She has called the past three nights.

 

She'll probably keep calling until you talk to her.

 

She's got a very valid reason to call you.

 

Why don't you just talk with her?

 

It might even make YOU feel better.

[upnorth]

I am currently newly pregnant by a casual partner. Similar to you, it went for months. Also similar, he won't give me the time of day currently.

 

If you want the honest truth, while I would have been willing to talk this through with him and gladly take his feelings into consideration, the brick wall I received has only given me the " whatever then" attitude. I will make my own decision, and if I decide to file for child support, then I will. If I terminate, I will. Basically, his treatment of me has only left me feeling as though he's a low life and I no longer care what impact this has on him.

 

I'm sure my feelings will change, as I'm not a spiteful person, but just wanted to give you a heads up. And it's not an easy decision. I have changed my mind fifteen times this week alone.

[Johncaribou]

Three nights in a row she has called with no answer.

 

No response to texts. At this point, she should be hanging her head and realizing what she is doing. A week of space would have given me at least time to decide how to handle this.

[Aniela]

Can I call the police if she shows up at my place?

 

Seriously?

 

 

She tried calling. Obviously she has no control or boundaries. If she miscarried, she can text that.

 

If she has an abortion, she already told me that she would go alone, pay for it, and only needed to be picked up. I looked up the website and it does state they need a driver. I told her I would do that.

 

 

Anything else, she can do whatever she needs to do in 8 months.

 

She has called the past three nights.

 

It sounds to me like she's trying to convince herself that she will be okay taking care of things, knowing that you want it all, and her, to just go away. She obviously isn't okay, and is hoping that you will show some semblance of humanity, and treat her like a human being, rather than a fly you're trying to swat away.

[elaine567]

Lets be straight. 36 year old women is sleeping around with one or more men, using no birth control whatsoever. Personally, I don't believe in 'accidental pregnancies'.

 

Where does it say she was sleeping around?

...and BTW only abstinence is 100% effective, truly accidental pregnancies happen all the time, despite the most careful contraceptive regimes.

[Aniela]

She tried calling. Obviously she has no control or boundaries. If she miscarried, she can text that.

 

 

Couldn't edit: this sentence is utterly heartless.