TheAviator Posted March 29, 2016 Posted March 29, 2016 My boyfriend and I are in a LDR. We met on a dating site. After we've met, he stopped going on the dating site and would constantly text/Skype/call. But now, I have my doubts. Suddenly, he was active on the dating site again. The texting, Skype and calling halted immediately and he used to answer every single text and was aggressive texting me. If he was so busy, why was he active on the profile last night and did not text me instead? I confronted him about it and he told me he has gay friends who he speaks to on there. But I don't believe him because it was a pay membership. It's so painful to leave him and I am going through a crisis in school. What should I do? He was extremely upset that I tried to break up with him and constantly says he loves me but I certainly don't believe him.
ExpatInItaly Posted March 29, 2016 Posted March 29, 2016 He's full of malarkey. Sorry, but I think you know what you need to do. Get rid of him. He's obviously not being honest with you. It wasn't clear, but have you met in person? And how did you know he's active again on the dating site?
elaine567 Posted March 29, 2016 Posted March 29, 2016 OK, so with all the avenues of communication open to him, the ONLY way he can contact his "gay friends" is through a dating site. Yeah, that sounds entirely plausible... 1
Author TheAviator Posted March 29, 2016 Author Posted March 29, 2016 No we haven't. He's in the navy and he is always on missions. I mean, when I text him, he answers straight away. I know he is not busy. So how come he was active during the night and did not text me anything? I told him before I was depressed about school and wanted a break. We won't see each other. He was shocked. Later, he asked me what would happen if we found somebody we liked during our break? I asked him if he would be okay with that. He said no. Here is our conversation... WARNING LONG: Him: I love you my sexy (My name) Sorry I fell asleep before I could send that... Me: We need to talk. I need to discuss things before I move on. Some things need clarifying. Him: Ok... Me: I'm not sure if we should keep doing this. Him: ...this?? Me: Yeah. Maybe we're not for each other. Him: ...wha... Me: Why do you still have that profile up? Him: Which profile? Me: Your dating profile. I thought I can trust you. But now, it appears the truth is resurfaced. Him: I just never took it down I'm sorry!! Me: You don't even need to. It shows your dedication. Him: sweetie... Me: I have come to the conclusion that I'm nothing but a substitute for you. You're going to find someone closer and one day, you will grow distant and tell me you have found somebody else. Him: Su...substitute!? Me: Don't play dumb. Him: Why would you think that!? Me: Don't lie to me. God knows. Him: I'm not lying!! Me: Why is the profile still up? I was playing around with my phone and somehow, I ended up on your page. My deepest fear is confirmed and honestly Now, I don't feel anything. Him: I just never took it down... I'm sorry... Me: You don't have to. Find someone else. You were active yesterday. I thought we were exclusive. Apparently I am betrayed. Him: We are exclusive... Me: Explain how you were active yesterday. I want the truth. Him: (My name) ... Me: Stop pretending I'm so gullible. I get goosebumps every time you state you "love" me. How many women did you say it to while you were with me? I feel so disgusted. Him: Only you... Me: You're lying. You're even evading questions Now. Him: I'm not lying!!! Me: Okay. Why were you online yesterday? Him: Like you, I was screwing around on my phone Me: I'm sorry. I don't believe you. Him: What??? Me: Last time I came up on that page by accident, it said the user deactivated the profile. Don't lie to me. Him: I'm not lying!! But if you don't believe me than fine...Go be with someone better than me... Me: You're not lying? Really? How come it was deactivated one day and active the next? Explain this. Him: I can't I don't know!!! Me: It seemed like you reactivated your membership too. Him: What!? Just ****ing leave!!! Go ahead and break my heart over a ****ing website!!! Goodbye Me: Can you delete your page? I would never mention it again. I promise. Him : Why would I do that when you don't even trust me anymore... Me: I promise I will trust you this time.This won't happen every again. I never doubted you until that webpage came up. Him: But there's doubt now...if something as small and simple as a webpage can do this...you don't trust me now... Me: I've always trusted you until that page. Him: Exactly!! Me: I'm scared that you would find someone else. Him: How many times do I have to say I freaking won't!! Me: I will believe you this time if you take it off. I promise I will trust you forever if you do. We won't ever fight again and no break up threats ever again. Him: What if I don't want to? I might have gay friends on there Me: If you don't want to, I want to know the reason. Why. Him: I went through a crisis after a bad break up... I went through a gay phase Me: You swear to God this is all true? Him: Yes sweetie Me: Do you want a semi open or a monogamous relationship? Him: Do you want that? Me: I mean, I don't feel like I want other girls at the moment.... But you? Him: I don't feel like I want other guys but maybe on our break we find someone we like Me: Not really. I mean I don't want the break anymore. Him: I love you and you said last night... Me: But are you bisexual too? Does that mean just because we are both busy, we are going to find someone else? Him: No, I'm not saying that... I am bi though
smackie9 Posted March 29, 2016 Posted March 29, 2016 These things are always difficult because it gets real lonely without having someone there you can physically be with, especially when you have sexual needs to fulfill. He may not be physically cheating but he could be emotionally cheating, flirting with others, etc on line. The writing is on the wall, people will lie, and when I see "but maybe on our break we find someone we like...." It's there.
Recommended Posts