Author Blossomingbelle Posted March 30, 2016 Author Posted March 30, 2016 I'm like 10 days into NC surely it must start getting better soon, do you think after like 30 days it's ok to text and say sorry for how everything turned out, sorry for how I reacted and take care, but ask him not to reply? I'm really struggling with the thought of him thinking badly of me? I would like to apologise for what I did but not sound like I'm desperate
Steven1 Posted March 30, 2016 Posted March 30, 2016 I'm like 10 days into NC surely it must start getting better soon, do you think after like 30 days it's ok to text and say sorry for how everything turned out, sorry for how I reacted and take care, but ask him not to reply? I'm really struggling with the thought of him thinking badly of me? I would like to apologise for what I did but not sound like I'm desperate I've always given different advice on this. 10 days is relatively little. Me and my ex went about 8 weeks of NC, and I still found that very hard purely because she had felt differently about me for a few months, prior to those 8 weeks. So she had moved on quite a bit by that time, where as I hadn't, and it was still up in the air as to what was happening. As for the contact part, that is entirely up to you. WHEN you come to a point where you feel you could see him with another woman etc, and not have any ill feelings or any negative feelings towards him, or any romantic feelings towards him, then it's up to you if you want to best wishes for the future etc. If anything, it might be best if that's something you feel you HAVE to do, to do it now, and then go NC, rather than get through your NC, and then text him, without knowing how you will feel after you've hit send.
Author Blossomingbelle Posted March 30, 2016 Author Posted March 30, 2016 I worry that because the last time I spoke to him was when I confronted him, he said never to contact him again? Is 10 days too early to then apologise? I'm not sure, I mean he obviously isn't thinking of me at all and as I saw him 2 days ago with her and again they were having a convo with my friend on Twitter today I feel as though he might not want to hear from me
Steven1 Posted March 30, 2016 Posted March 30, 2016 10 days is still very soon, and if he is with someone then chances are it's probably best not to contact him. As I said, if contacting him would leave you with peace of mind that you left on higher ground and good terms, then just text him say that you wish him the best for the future etc and that's it, but only if you feel as though that it will also bring you closure/comfort on the matter. Like I posted to you before about me and my ex last night.. I texted asking if she wanted to meet up in a month or two for a coffee, and she said she could but it might still be to soon and she might be with someone by then and she doesn't know how I would handle that, she did say nothing has happened with this person yet and it may not, but theyve talked a few times etc. I knew something might happen but I didn't think she would enter into a relationship this quickly. But I feel as though we both said what we had to say to one another before we decided yesterday that we shouldn't speak again for a while. We may not speak again if she enters into a new relationship only time can tell. But I think me and her felt comfortable enough to be able to tell each other all of that, knowing that down the road there's as much chance we could end up back together, just as there's as much chance that we may not. Every one is different and everyone copes differently. If you feel that texting him before trying NC again would be to hard, then don't text him.
Author Blossomingbelle Posted April 1, 2016 Author Posted April 1, 2016 I did send him a message this morning after 2 sleepless nights and apologised for how I reacted and also how I handled our relationship, I wished him well and am now looking to the future
mightycpa Posted April 1, 2016 Posted April 1, 2016 (edited) I don't think that's true I didn't lie to him at all, he knew how I felt and I did want to spend my life with him he knew that. Well, then you don't tell a story very well: So I was dating a guy for around 18 months and (1) I never made it serious(my choice) (2) he wanted to but ...I'd just come out of a long term relationship etc and I was happy to just date but I did love him. Anyway (3) he ended it at the end of December and said it was because I wouldn't make it serious (4) etc, I obviously didn't realise how much he meant to me ...until he was gone and tried to contact him to explain I was sorry and was ready to make it serious but he wasn't interested.What you said then and what you said now don't mean the same thing. I'm not saying you lied. I'm just saying this is his perspective. You ruined it for him, and he is definitely not happy with you. Yes I took him for granted and I have apologised for that. I feel he does owe me the truth as in the 18 months we spent together I never even looked at another guy and I feel I want to know if it was going on before we split. What you may feel and what is actually the case are not always the same thing. Of course you want answers to unending questions, or to assuage your doubts and insecurities, that's very normal. But he's not with you any more, and he's already told you why he broke up with you. You can either choose to believe him or not, but this is exactly what happens at the end of a relationship. You are free of any obligation to each other. Your history doesn't change that. All you can be responsible for is how you acted, and whether you will view this relationship as a waste of your time and his. Anyway, I have decided i won't get answers and I do know that I am doing no contact and will text him after a month to say sorry for how I reacted and then leave him alone for good.I don't know, it sounds like he's going to get that text before a month is up. NC is not easy, so don't underestimate the resolve it will take to stick to it. And what do you have to apologize for? You're sorry you, what? Got serious after he broke up instead of before? I think you wrote you've already apologized for that. You've also already said you're sorry for the breakup. There's nothing left to apologize for, you've had your say. Believe me when I say you should just let it go, lick your wounds in private and call it a lesson learned. Edited April 1, 2016 by mightycpa 1
Author Blossomingbelle Posted April 2, 2016 Author Posted April 2, 2016 Well I have now found out that he did end it with me to start an affair with the other woman. I am so angry that he made out it was all in my head and I was crazy and blamed it all on me when all along I was right. This makes the break up a little easier to get over now I am sure he is a liar and can sit there and let me apologise for thinking things when all the time it was the truth.
Recommended Posts