icyfeline Posted March 28, 2016 Posted March 28, 2016 Hey guys. I'm very fresh out of a 7 month relationship with a guy I knew years ago online. We hadn't spoken for 5 years, then we started talking again last September & found out we had a lot in common & started falling for each other. I was very reluctant to do so since I'd been heartbroken before in a similar situation (LDR). However, the difference this time was we never got a chance to actually get together. Naturally he grew tired of the distance & while I could feel him pulling away lately, we were so close to seeing each other I was in denial. The last few weeks all he'd say was "I'm so lonely, I wish you were here". We got into a small fight last Friday which gave him a reason to finally pull the trigger & say he couldn't take the distance anymore. After a medium amount of begging & pleading this past holiday weekend, he ended things by telling me he still wants me in his life as a friend, could possibly see future with me, but for now he just needs space. I've been crying non stop, haven't eaten, haven't slept - the usual as a dumpee. As much as it's killing me, I've gone NC since our last conversation & was sure I wouldn't hear from him. He texted me today, not 2 days after wanting space so badly & avoiding me in every way possible. "Hey icyfeline, how are you?" I don't know what to make of this. Is he trying to relieve his guilt? At this point that's all I feel it is. I know no one can confirm his motives, I'm just venting & doing my best not to answer him, but I'm falling apart inside.
Steven1 Posted March 28, 2016 Posted March 28, 2016 It's usually common after this for both halves to feel the same way, while the distance got to him, it doesn't mean that his feelings for you changed etc. I know what LDR is like, I was with my now ex for 7 years, and a good few of those years we were in different countries, and there were many,many,many nights where we were both upset that we couldn't be with each other. It takes an awful,awful lot for an LDR to work. Chances are unless there was any other problems, if it was just the distance that became to much for him, then like you he will still have feelings, chances are he is going through the same thing as you, but if fights were starting to happen etc it may be best to leave it a while and give it some time. The first few days are often the worst, could be he does feel guilty, or he just genuinely does miss you and has had to text to see how you are. Could also be that after 2 days he is missing you, or he thought you would have contacted him. Obviously up to you if you reply or not, but if you think NC is best then stick with it.
Author icyfeline Posted March 29, 2016 Author Posted March 29, 2016 (edited) It's usually common after this for both halves to feel the same way, while the distance got to him, it doesn't mean that his feelings for you changed etc. I know what LDR is like, I was with my now ex for 7 years, and a good few of those years we were in different countries, and there were many,many,many nights where we were both upset that we couldn't be with each other. It takes an awful,awful lot for an LDR to work. Chances are unless there was any other problems, if it was just the distance that became to much for him, then like you he will still have feelings, chances are he is going through the same thing as you, but if fights were starting to happen etc it may be best to leave it a while and give it some time. The first few days are often the worst, could be he does feel guilty, or he just genuinely does miss you and has had to text to see how you are. Could also be that after 2 days he is missing you, or he thought you would have contacted him. Obviously up to you if you reply or not, but if you think NC is best then stick with it. Thank you very much for your reply Steven. Well whether it was a good idea or not my NC didn't last long. I texted him back about a half an hour ago which went like - Me: "I'm fine. How are you." Him: "I'm ok" Me: "I hope you had a good Easter." Him: "I did. I hope you did too." Me: "It was fine ty." & that was it. I've no clue what any of that was, testing the waters, genuinely checking on me or what, but I only feel worse. I know it will take time, I suppose I should really try to stick to NC. Edit: Alright, I shouldn't have, but a few minutes ago I asked - "how come just ok, what's wrong?" He says "because we're broken up" I'm more confused than ever. Edited March 29, 2016 by icyfeline
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