Scottyd Posted March 28, 2016 Posted March 28, 2016 This probably isn't a typical situation since there wasn't a full blown affair. To make it short, I broke up with my ex in January. In early March, I started seeing someone new. We hit it off right away and we had a great time together. My ex found out through mutual friends that I had started seeing someone new. After weeks of no contact, the ex started "blowing up" my phone with texts and voice mails about how she missed me and that breaking up with me was a mistake. I had just met the new person and wasn't entirely sure how I felt about her yet, or if the relationship had a future, so I entertained the ex's texts. Asked her how things would be different this time and why she thought that we wouldn't make the same mistakes all over again. We went back and forth via text (big mistake as you will see a minute) for a couple of days. I started spending more and more time with the new girl and my feelings for her grew. I eventually stopped responding to the ex's messages, which just made her more aggressive/persistent. She started saying weird, out of character things like she couldn't live like this anymore and she didn't know what she was going to do if I didn't respond to her. I knew that this was manipulative but I caved and said something along the lines of I still love you and I will think about everything and we can talk later. You can probably guess where this is going....those mutual friends I mentioned earlier gave my ex the new girl's phone number, and the ex ended up meeting. Ex showed her all of the text messages and the new girl is very, very upset. She is still talking to me, but she is angry. She texted me yesterday and asked what I was doing. I told her that I was out having a drink with a male friend of mine. She showed up at the bar and we talked. I realized that she was already hammered so I took what she said with a grain of salt, but she said that even though she was extremely angry with me, she "really loved" me. I called a cab for her and took her home, put her to bed and then went back to my place. I texted her a couple times this morning, but no response. I really love this girl and I know that I screwed up royally. Should I take the fact that she is still talking to me as a good sign and try to repair things, and what do you think is the best way to do that? Or is this just too far gone?
carhill Posted March 28, 2016 Posted March 28, 2016 To me this sounds like normal, as normal as breakup stuff can be normal, breakup fallout. People go through, or can go through, this back and forth stuff until new relationships are formed, folks choose to be single, or couples reconcile. TBH, I'd focus on your life, cut the ex off, let things settle and see what happens. Sure, you can do some smooth talk if that's your forte but I doubt you'd be here if you had all those skills. There's always going to be something. Up to you how you want to handle these things. If you're done with the ex, OK, state that and cut her off and let it go. No need to dwell. Current dating partner can be pissed. That's OK. If it gets annoying, cut her off too. Life is too short.
ShatteredLady Posted March 29, 2016 Posted March 29, 2016 If your new girl friend came here we would advise her to dump you & count her losses! Lucky she's not here.... Start fresh. Be COMPLETELY HONEST. That's the foundation you need for any good relationship isn't it? If you're falling in love with her & you truly want to fix this, tell her everything. Explain how confused you were & what a HUGE mistake you made. Write an email to your ex telling her that it's over & you have a new lady in your life & out of respect to her you won't ever be communicating again. Show your gf the mail before you send it. NEVER LIE TO YOUR WOMAN EVER AGAIN!!
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