Stefania Posted March 28, 2016 Posted March 28, 2016 On 16 March (nearly 2 weeks ago) I think I met the sweeter, funnier, male version of myself. I always get nervous on first dates but as soon as we met we got along like a house on fire. We spent 3 hours in a pub laughing and sharing childhood stories. I thought he was hilarious and handsome and did not expect to have such a good night. We eventually had to leave because the pub was closing, I looked down and I hadn't even finished my first drink. As we were getting up to leave he said, "do I get a second date?" to which I responded "pfft yeah, well do I?" and he said "yeah". As we left he discussed with me what restaurants I liked and after I said one he liked too he said "that can be our second date". He seemed really keen. He kissed me on the cheek and that was that. Later he texted he would kiss me properly next time (if I wanted him to.) Since that night he has not been texting much at all. In fact, he didn't text me until 4 days later and apologised for being busy. He said he "wasn't playing games" - his mom has been very unwell. I was understanding and just asked how he was doing. No reply, but I thought okay he's busy looking after his mom. So I texted again on the Wednesday (now a week after our first date), asking if he was free the Thursday or Friday evening. On Thursday he replied saying he would let me know on the Friday afternoon if he could leave. At 6pm he said sorry he couldn't, but that he'd text me to rearrange asap. I have been messed around by guys before and find it very hard to trust. I feel guilty thinking this (apparently) sweet person would lie about his own mom being ill to get out of seeing me but I don't even know this guy so who knows? I'm just wondering what other people think as it's nearly been 2 weeks and is sort of stressing me out. I haven't been so attracted to someone for so long.
amaysngrace Posted March 28, 2016 Posted March 28, 2016 Some things are worth waiting for. Lay off and let him take care of his mom. If it's meant to be it will be. He knows how to contact you when he's able.
Sara1989 Posted March 28, 2016 Posted March 28, 2016 This guy is a goner, he is not interested for whatever reason. Even if his mum is ill, he can still text and how is it he could get the time to go on that first date? hmm Recently I went on an first date with a guy, we ended up having dinner together and we had an great time. So great like your guy, he asked me out for the second date at the end of the night and texted me when I got home with the usual, enjoyed myself but asked me "Was I as expected?" We didn't end up going on the second date but he admitted to me he recently separated from his ex and he been on many first meets, I am pretty sure he was dating lots of women to reaffirm that he is attracted and can get women. All I can say is it wasn't you, you have no ideal what is going on in his personal life. If he met someone he liked better, if he still not over his ex, if hes doing it for attention. Let it go, move on...it was only one date, detach detach.
itstoni Posted March 28, 2016 Posted March 28, 2016 On 16 March (nearly 2 weeks ago) I think I met the sweeter, funnier, male version of myself. I always get nervous on first dates but as soon as we met we got along like a house on fire. We spent 3 hours in a pub laughing and sharing childhood stories. I thought he was hilarious and handsome and did not expect to have such a good night. We eventually had to leave because the pub was closing, I looked down and I hadn't even finished my first drink. As we were getting up to leave he said, "do I get a second date?" to which I responded "pfft yeah, well do I?" and he said "yeah". As we left he discussed with me what restaurants I liked and after I said one he liked too he said "that can be our second date". He seemed really keen. He kissed me on the cheek and that was that. Later he texted he would kiss me properly next time (if I wanted him to.) Since that night he has not been texting much at all. In fact, he didn't text me until 4 days later and apologised for being busy. He said he "wasn't playing games" - his mom has been very unwell. I was understanding and just asked how he was doing. No reply, but I thought okay he's busy looking after his mom. So I texted again on the Wednesday (now a week after our first date), asking if he was free the Thursday or Friday evening. On Thursday he replied saying he would let me know on the Friday afternoon if he could leave. At 6pm he said sorry he couldn't, but that he'd text me to rearrange asap. I have been messed around by guys before and find it very hard to trust. I feel guilty thinking this (apparently) sweet person would lie about his own mom being ill to get out of seeing me but I don't even know this guy so who knows? I'm just wondering what other people think as it's nearly been 2 weeks and is sort of stressing me out. I haven't been so attracted to someone for so long. With the information you provided there is no way of telling if he's genuinely interested or not. One thing I do notice is that you're overthinking things. He may be busy, he may be telling the truth, there is no way of knowing. I personally don't text any women much unless it's for setting up a date. You're best option is to just wait and see how things goes. If he is interested he will do what he can to see you. If he's not, you'll know.
kendahke Posted March 28, 2016 Posted March 28, 2016 I don't think he's a goner--he's just got a lot on his plate at the moment. You can continue to go out on dates with other guys and not put all your eggs in his basket.
Author Stefania Posted March 28, 2016 Author Posted March 28, 2016 Thank you so much everyone for your different viewpoints, you've helped me feel less insane and realise that... everything is fine, whatever happens happens. Thank you.
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