batjokes92 Posted March 28, 2016 Posted March 28, 2016 (edited) Hello. So this is kind of a complicated story and this situation I am in is not good at all. I will start by saying this, 2 years ago when I was 21 I had my first intimate experiance with a guy. He didn't want a relationship so he dropped me after we had sex. I was in a severe depression for several months. I was obsessed with him. It was the darkest part of my life. I can happily say that I have put him in the past now and I am glad I didnt end up with this shallow airhead of a man. The person who helped me get over him though.. he is my new obsession. We met online. He introduced himself to me. Told me this guy was an idiot, he helped me get over him. He was very intelligent and caring. but it seems that I am now tied to this new guy. He lives in Poland and has a long distance relationship with a girl in the U.S. (I live in Canada). I respected the fact that he had a gf and was happy to keep a casual friendship with him, things got complicated when he told me he had a crush on me. He started coming to me with his relationship troubles. He would message me every day telling me how his girlfriend is treating him poorly, how he'd have nightmares of her death, how he felt sick to his stomach when she'd ignore him. It then escalated to him showing me pictures of his bloody wrists wrapped in bandages telling me he's going to kill himself over her. I tried my best to support him. He threatend suicide many times, I was tempted to call the police in his area but i never did. He said he trusted me not to tell anyone. One night many months ago he came to me and told me "I love you". "But please don't take this 'I love you' in a way you'd like to hear from a boyfriend. I love you in the way a mentor loves and cares for his ward. It's this healthy mixture of proportions like, a little bit of fathers love, a little bit of brothers love and a little bit of mans love. My girlfriend won't understand that. That's why I ask that you keep it in secret." From there he'd message me every night for two months. I was beginning to really fall for him once he told me his girlfriend broke up with him. We would talk about art, literature and life experiance together. The conversations were always very deep and sometimes we'd go to very dark places.. We had conversations of being roommates when he moves to England. He seemed really excited about it. Then one night he told me his ex didnt want him to talk to me anymore. He sent me transcription of the conversation they had about me.(Just so you know me and his girlfriend have never spoken to eachother.) His girlfriend said if he wants her he will drop me. From that moment on I decided to distance myself. A week went by without talking to him then he messaged me saying "why don't you talk to me anymore?" I said I thought he dint want to hear from me but he said that wasn't the case. He also told me that he isolates himself from the world and told me I was his only real close friend. So for about two months I've been going to him for chats but he rarely ever starts chats with me anymore. He also recently told me that he was attracted to young girls he knew, 13, 14 year olds. I was desgusted but didn't want to tell him so I said nothing. He also told me that his gf is stalking my blog. Now I feel like I have to watch what I post. Another week went by without talking. I have been busy with my new job. A few nights ago I tried messaging him to see how he was doing but he never responded.I see him online on Facebook yet he's ignoring me over Skype all of the sudden. I know this isn't really a "break up" story, but I'd like to hear your thoughts and advice on this situation regardless. I know I should let him go but I love him. I don't think I'll find another person like him. Honestly. I feel like this guy is just thirsty for female attention and he wants me to start a war with his girlfriend over him so he can have something to stroke his ego with. I have never said one mean thing about his gf, yet she has mocked me many times. I don't know why I love him. I see what he is doing to me yet I love him anyway. Edited March 28, 2016 by batjokes92 More info
Michaelroyale Posted March 29, 2016 Posted March 29, 2016 Hi there I hope this advice helps you..You would be much happier if you found a local man to get to know and possibly fall in love with..This kind of dating isn't real and potentially could be dangerous..go with your gut feeling and you will know what to do...have no more contact with him..I've been in a similar position and turned out to be a nightmare....my advice get offline and meet a real man local and enjoy seeing him regular and build a friendship from there..The Internet dating is a very scary place especially for a woman... nothing good can come of this weird person..move on...best of luck....
hippychick3 Posted March 29, 2016 Posted March 29, 2016 You need to ask yourself what is missing in your life to cause you to become involved with an unstable, cheating pedophile who you have never even met. He sounds like the biggest loser you could ever know. Your best bet is to find what's missing in your life and fill it with something that is healthy and beneficial to your life (new friends, activities, career, school, etc). If you need professional help to do this, please do so. Don't "date" anyone online. That is not a real relationship. 2
ExpatInItaly Posted March 29, 2016 Posted March 29, 2016 You need to ask yourself what is missing in your life to cause you to become involved with an unstable, cheating pedophile who you have never even met. He sounds like the biggest loser you could ever know. Your best bet is to find what's missing in your life and fill it with something that is healthy and beneficial to your life (new friends, activities, career, school, etc). If you need professional help to do this, please do so. Don't "date" anyone online. That is not a real relationship. All of this. OP, forget this guy. Whoever he is, he isn't stable and you shouldn't be getting involved at all with him. I say this for two reasons: A) Your own emotional well-being will be compromised by continuing to engage with someone like this and B) You could land in hot water yourself if you know he's interested in children and chose to say nothing.
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