xpaperxcutx Posted March 28, 2016 Posted March 28, 2016 I gave him another chance. This guy who I was seeing a while back had reached out to me. And stupid me decided to ask him out again. We'd scheduled to meet on Sunday but the day of he texted me pictures of him and his dad fixing his tub. I wanted to believe him because he had sent me pictures but I didnt trust him because upon closer inspections of the two pictures he sent me, I noticed the same set of tools in different areas of his house. This led me to believe he'd probably had these pictures a long time ago and was sending them to me to get out of the date. Like seriously, why go this far to lie? He reached out to me first and tried to start a conversation and I still at that point wanted to give him a chance. I have never been so disrespected to be treated thus. I actually planned my day around him and our date. And he never even apologised. He even told me his "dad" was priority. I understand how anyone's parents can be priority but he didnt even have the courtesy to cancel. I never met someone who even did this to me ever.
lana-banana Posted March 28, 2016 Posted March 28, 2016 Or...he had the tools out because he was doing repairs on something else? I don't see how the presence of a toolset means anything in this case. You are way too focused on the wrong problem. He stood you up and figured you'd still come back for more, which should automatically eliminate him from consideration in your book. He doesn't deserve any consideration beyond that. 3
ExpatInItaly Posted March 28, 2016 Posted March 28, 2016 I dont know a tub is kind of a important thing in a household I also dont get how the tools in a different area of the house is a issue? I think it was just what he said his dad needed him last min at least he told you what happened and made an effort to explain.. I don't understand that part, either. OP, can you clarify why you automatically assumed he was lying? It doesn't make sense. 1
Lostweekend Posted March 28, 2016 Posted March 28, 2016 Whatever the reason, you don´t seem to be on his list of priorities! I´m sorry to be so blunt but if repairing a bathtub is that important then I would forget about it. There is obviously a reason why you stopped seing each other in the first place and it sounds like you are finding it hard to trust him. If he has let you down in the past then I can understand your apprehension and it´s highly unlikely that he´s going to change by the sounds of it. 1
Empire87 Posted March 28, 2016 Posted March 28, 2016 Don't get so invested emotionally so early on with something like this. Just send him a text or the next time you talk say "so are you planning to make it up to me for bailing on hanging out this weekend or should I lower my expectations ;)"
Art_Critic Posted March 28, 2016 Posted March 28, 2016 I don't understand that part, either. OP, can you clarify why you automatically assumed he was lying? It doesn't make sense. I think she meant since the pictures were sent together and the pictures were of different areas of the house then the tools shouldn't have been the same in each picture if they were randomly taken and sent to her as why he can't make the date. I guess he could have taken the pictures at different times thru the day and only sent her those 2 pictures.. OP, to me being stood up is something that shouldn't happen.. ever.. I happen to be one of those people who when I give my word and make a date then I make it happen.. At the very least he back burnered you for his tub, even if the pictures were taken in the right time frame then being back burnered like that is only a window in the future of more of this type of treatment from him in the future.. Just move on from this guy, unreliable people frustrate and break the hearts of people. 1
Shining One Posted March 28, 2016 Posted March 28, 2016 We'd scheduled to meet on Sunday but the day of he texted me pictures of him and his dad fixing his tub. I wanted to believe him because he had sent me pictures but I didnt trust him because upon closer inspections of the two pictures he sent me, I noticed the same set of tools in different areas of his house. This led me to believe he'd probably had these pictures a long time ago and was sending them to me to get out of the date.If you're going to examine the situation this deeply, you should at least check the EXIF data on the pictures. 3
katiegrl Posted March 28, 2016 Posted March 28, 2016 (edited) Just me, but I would be leery of any guy who broke a date, and felt inclined to *prove* that his *excuse* was legit by sending me photos. Who does this? Someone who feels guilty about lying, and thus needs to attempt to prove he is *not* lying (by sending you photos? Lol) ... lest you believe he is lying too. If he were *not* lying, he would have simply told you his dad needed him, and reschedule a different day. The fake photos completely unnecessary ... and rather silly as well. Honest people do not behave this way. Edited March 28, 2016 by katiegrl 1
Els Posted March 28, 2016 Posted March 28, 2016 If you're going to examine the situation this deeply, you should at least check the EXIF data on the pictures. Or.... you could just ditch this guy. Seriously. This isn't even the first time he's stood you up, if I recall correctly?
katiegrl Posted March 28, 2016 Posted March 28, 2016 I recall another thread created by a woman whose date cancelled last minute claiming he had to work late (at the office), and proceeded to send her photos of work piled up on his desk at the office! LOL, really? This is is supposed to prove you have to work late? Work piled up on your desk? LOL Work is *always* piled up on my desk.... and most people's desks. WTF, do these guys think we are a bunch of morons? Aparrently so. 1
Emilia Posted March 28, 2016 Posted March 28, 2016 So he didn't stand you up, he cancelled? I agree it's flakey and flakes don't get better unless everyone tells them to get lost and they have no friends left
Shining One Posted March 28, 2016 Posted March 28, 2016 I recall another thread created by a woman whose date cancelled last minute claiming he had to work late (at the office), and proceeded to send her photos of work piled up on his desk at the office! LOL, really? This is is supposed to prove you have to work late? Work piled up on your desk? LOL Work is *always* piled up on my desk.... and most people's desks. WTF, do these guys think we are a bunch of morons? Aparrently so.I guess I should have dropped that woman who cancelled a date by sending me a picture of her ankle in a cast. I'm not saying that the OP should or should not believe this specific instance, but it's wrong to automatically assume that someone is lying because they sent a picture.
katiegrl Posted March 28, 2016 Posted March 28, 2016 I guess I should have dropped that woman who cancelled a date by sending me a picture of her ankle in a cast. I'm not saying that the OP should or should not believe this specific instance, but it's wrong to automatically assume that someone is lying because they sent a picture. I said I would be leery about it. I also think the reason one cancels matters. Obviously a broken ankle can be verified regardless of the pic she sent...especially if you have been dating awhile. But a pic of work piled on a desk ... or tools scattered about? Those pics could have been taken any time. ..and times can be changed too. I also think a person's history is important, but that said, you are right .. I was wrong to assume in *every* situation one is lying if they send a pic. I think this is where plain ole common sense comes into play.. and one's intuition.
joseb Posted March 28, 2016 Posted March 28, 2016 If you're going to examine the situation this deeply, you should at least check the EXIF data on the pictures. Did you check the exif data? I do send pics, not so much to "prove" I'm doing something, more of a social thing. Most people do now with phone cameras everywhere (some to extremes, like snapchat addicts) so I don't think that that in itself means much. But yeah, you sound like you are suspicious, and tbh it does sound slightly fishy, so check the data. It's unlikely he will have gone to the extent of faking that.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted March 28, 2016 Author Posted March 28, 2016 I think she meant since the pictures were sent together and the pictures were of different areas of the house then the tools shouldn't have been the same in each picture if they were randomly taken and sent to her as why he can't make the date. I guess he could have taken the pictures at different times thru the day and only sent her those 2 pictures.. OP, to me being stood up is something that shouldn't happen.. ever.. I happen to be one of those people who when I give my word and make a date then I make it happen.. At the very least he back burnered you for his tub, even if the pictures were taken in the right time frame then being back burnered like that is only a window in the future of more of this type of treatment from him in the future.. Just move on from this guy, unreliable people frustrate and break the hearts of people. It was as you've said Art. He sent me two pictures at the same time- one of his living room with his dad and tools and the second picture of the bathtub. I saw the same set of tools- a blue colored handle wrench and red- handled clippers. How do you have the same set of tools in two pictures of different areas of the room? Additionally, he didnt even specify when he was going to be finished. He just told me dad was going to be there and probably expected him to cook afterwards. He told me not to plan my day around him. I replied back that I thought we planned this days in advance. This was when it's already close to 4 pm; he'd sent me those pics at 1pm. And then he rudely wrote that his dad took priority over me. And no he didnt even bother to reschedule. I already deletedhis number. He ruined my Easter.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted March 28, 2016 Author Posted March 28, 2016 I said I would be leery about it. I also think the reason one cancels matters. Obviously a broken ankle can be verified regardless of the pic she sent...especially if you have been dating awhile. But a pic of work piled on a desk ... or tools scattered about? Those pics could have been taken any time. ..and times can be changed too. I also think a person's history is important, but that said, you are right .. I was wrong to assume in *every* situation one is lying if they send a pic. I think this is where plain ole common sense comes into play.. and one's intuition. Considering that he flaked on me in the past, i really gave him one too many chances. This time he completely ****ed up 1
thecrucible Posted March 29, 2016 Posted March 29, 2016 I think regardless of this particular situation, something obviously feels off with this guy if your suspicions were piqued so I think it would be good to draw a line under it and move on. I tell myself this all the time when every so often I end up with a disenchanted man. I realise that he wouldn't be making me feel this anxious if there was a real connection between us. Sometimes the guy has no ill intent, he's just really sloppy with communicating what he's thinking.
joseb Posted March 29, 2016 Posted March 29, 2016 He sent me two pictures at the same time- one of his living room with his dad and tools and the second picture of the bathtub. I saw the same set of tools- a blue colored handle wrench and red- handled clippers. How do you have the same set of tools in two pictures of different areas of the room? I still don't see what the issue is with the pics - one about to start work, one working - what's odd about that? Did you check the EXIF data? I guess it's not relevant as you have deleted him.
Els Posted March 29, 2016 Posted March 29, 2016 How do you do this? You can view them on most Windows computers by right clicking the image, selecting properties, then going to the details tab. Alternatively, there are online Exif readers like http://regex.info/exif.cgi (I haven't tried those though). But there's no point in the OP doing that really, I think nexting him is the best response.
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