brandon26003 Posted March 28, 2016 Posted March 28, 2016 I went out with a women yesterday that I met on Tinder. The date went great. We had drinks and great communication. She said that it put a smile on her face before Easter to have a great time. The waiter asked us how long we had been dating and he couldn't believe that it was our first date. She said that it was a good sign that he couldn't tell it was our first date. It was getting late and she asked me if I wanted to go for a walk around the city which I agreed. When the bill came, she insisted on paying. When the waiter sat the bill on the table, she grabbed it before I could even react and handed her car to the waiter. Our tab was $100. I didn't know how I should feel. I kind of felt embarrassed. We both had to go to our vehicles to get our jackets. I stopped at mine first and we went to hers. I was a little shocked because she drives a very expensive luxury SUV. It's weird, because she is very laid back and down to Earth and didn't act like she drove a very expensive luxury vehicle. It's hard to explain. We walked by the river and shared a few kisses. It seemed like everything went well. Let's just hope it doesn't turn out like the past several women that I've dated.
itstoni Posted March 28, 2016 Posted March 28, 2016 I went out with a women yesterday that I met on Tinder. The date went great. We had drinks and great communication. She said that it put a smile on her face before Easter to have a great time. The waiter asked us how long we had been dating and he couldn't believe that it was our first date. She said that it was a good sign that he couldn't tell it was our first date. It was getting late and she asked me if I wanted to go for a walk around the city which I agreed. When the bill came, she insisted on paying. When the waiter sat the bill on the table, she grabbed it before I could even react and handed her car to the waiter. Our tab was $100. I didn't know how I should feel. I kind of felt embarrassed. We both had to go to our vehicles to get our jackets. I stopped at mine first and we went to hers. I was a little shocked because she drives a very expensive luxury SUV. It's weird, because she is very laid back and down to Earth and didn't act like she drove a very expensive luxury vehicle. It's hard to explain. We walked by the river and shared a few kisses. It seemed like everything went well. Let's just hope it doesn't turn out like the past several women that I've dated. She likes you. She asked to go on a walk, she's interested. If she wasn't she wouldn't of paid and wouldn't waste her time on you. She paid to show you that she can hold her own, that she's independent. Which is great. Next time around make sure you handle the bill and don't take no for an answer. 1
SunnyWeather Posted March 28, 2016 Posted March 28, 2016 She likes you. She asked to go on a walk, she's interested. If she wasn't she wouldn't of paid and wouldn't waste her time on you. She paid to show you that she can hold her own, that she's independent. Which is great. Next time around make sure you handle the bill and don't take no for an answer. I don't know, it seems a bit emasculating to me the way OP described it. 2
itstoni Posted March 28, 2016 Posted March 28, 2016 I don't know, it seems a bit emasculating to me the way OP described it. I would have to see it through his eyes to know. Exact same thing happened to me on Friday, but the amount was a lot less. Long story short, I paid and she swiped my money and she paid with her own and returned me the money. I was thrown off by it to. But no matter how I look at it, there isn't anything lost. You got to spend time with your date. Got to know her. Got free food. If anything you gained - you got her to invest time, energy, and money. Keep up posted to see the result. 1
xpaperxcutx Posted March 28, 2016 Posted March 28, 2016 Well at least you know she's not one of those girls who date for food? She's into you. Schedule a second date and grab the check next time. I swear to god, some girls actually feel bad for making guys bad, myself included. So far, im seeing a guy who grabs for the bill even before I reach for my wallet. I might surprise him with Broadway tickets to see the Lion King. 2
Empire87 Posted March 28, 2016 Posted March 28, 2016 Use it to your advantage. Now you have something you have as an excuse to ask her out again. "Hey, what's going on, any plans this weekend? I'm pretty sure I owe you a dinner... let me know when you're free, my treat." Not a big deal. She kissed you so she's obviously Into you. Don't oberanalyze this and make it into something it's not. If you have the mindset where you feel the need to pay because you're a guy then consciously start to accept that things are different now and you don't need to make that a rule every time you go out. It'd be one thing if she wouldn't let you pay for a reason. But perhaps she was just showing she's independent and she went out with you because she's into you, not because she wanted a free meal. Some girls are like that. Also, you said "she didn't act like the type of person who had a luxury car" Umm.. What does someone who drives a Mercedes Truck look and act like then? You're stereotyping here and need to stop that. Doesn't matter if she is rich, or poor, if you're into her then that's all you need to know. If you're worried because you think she makes more money than you now or has a better career, then decide whether or not you can be with someone who you aren't superior to financially or not. 1
Shining One Posted March 28, 2016 Posted March 28, 2016 I don't know, it seems a bit emasculating to me the way OP described it.I'd be very concerned if masculinity was so easily threatened by a woman opening her purse. OP, don't overanalyze this situation. She is clearly expressing interest. Ask her out again and reciprocate. 5
No_Go Posted March 28, 2016 Posted March 28, 2016 I'd absolutely do the same for a generous man (or woman, friend, whatever) - I'd reciprocate with equal or even more generous gesture. But a fool who keeps track, or even worse, is trying to trick me to pay the bill for both while looking at the ceiling when the check comes... Um, sure, I'd pay the bill, his cost will be only the loss of respect... Well at least you know she's not one of those girls who date for food? She's into you. Schedule a second date and grab the check next time. I swear to god, some girls actually feel bad for making guys bad, myself included. So far, im seeing a guy who grabs for the bill even before I reach for my wallet. I might surprise him with Broadway tickets to see the Lion King.
No_Go Posted March 28, 2016 Posted March 28, 2016 If she invited, makes 100% sense that she paid. Otherwise... Maybe she gauged that she's much better off than you financially and that's why she paid? Or she was just enjoying the date too much (I remember I paid once for a guy AND his friend, I was soooo excited about being in his company that the cost of the food really didn't matter to me). I went out with a women yesterday that I met on Tinder. The date went great. We had drinks and great communication. She said that it put a smile on her face before Easter to have a great time. The waiter asked us how long we had been dating and he couldn't believe that it was our first date. She said that it was a good sign that he couldn't tell it was our first date. It was getting late and she asked me if I wanted to go for a walk around the city which I agreed. When the bill came, she insisted on paying. When the waiter sat the bill on the table, she grabbed it before I could even react and handed her car to the waiter. Our tab was $100. I didn't know how I should feel. I kind of felt embarrassed. We both had to go to our vehicles to get our jackets. I stopped at mine first and we went to hers. I was a little shocked because she drives a very expensive luxury SUV. It's weird, because she is very laid back and down to Earth and didn't act like she drove a very expensive luxury vehicle. It's hard to explain. We walked by the river and shared a few kisses. It seemed like everything went well. Let's just hope it doesn't turn out like the past several women that I've dated.
Mrin Posted March 28, 2016 Posted March 28, 2016 Dude, you better put out next date. ;-) Like others said - she likes you. Schedule second date soon and tell her it's your turn.
phineas Posted March 28, 2016 Posted March 28, 2016 I don't know, it seems a bit emasculating to me the way OP described it. I think this is OP's insecurity showing through or just his trying to process what happened. I know a few very attractive women who pay their half or the whole tab on a first date because too many men think she owes them something if they pay it all. Granted this is online dating and these women are a cut above the rest and i've seen guys start buying them drinks in bars during group outtings then try to follow them out to the car expecting something. these are grown men in their mid 40's. a lot of men seem to lose their mind or get really aggressive when it comes to a hot woman whose had a few beers. Or she's alpha and is going to molest him on the 2nd date.
Larryville Posted March 28, 2016 Posted March 28, 2016 I will admit, I read this thread and had to process before replying, this is another one of those generational issues. before I could even react and handed her car to the waiter. Our tab was $100. I didn't know how I should feel. I kind of felt embarrassed. You can only feel bad if you allow yourself to. There are so many selfish serial dating women who only go out with dudes for free meals and dates to have a woman willingly wanting to treat is frankly a treat. I dated one lady who was very wealthy but we would treat each other, it is not about the money more about the generosity and she seemingly is into you . If she invited, makes 100% sense that she paid. Great point: That is how I have handled when or if it comes up. I don't know, it seems a bit emasculating to me the way OP described it. If she is seemingly a sincere and nice person that was not her intent. Not a big deal. She kissed you so she's obviously Into you. I think this is OP's insecurity showing through or just his trying to process what happened. A lot of guys would be insecure depends on how you were raised. I grew up in a family of strong, highly educated successfully career women, does not have to be emasculating at all. Today I make a decent salary, I’m single have no debt, no money issues but frankly the vast majority of women I have dated recently (all 40’s and above) make more than I do, it’s gonna happen. So don’t let pride or ego keep you from being with a nice woman. Next date, just make sure you are quick and take care of next outing.
Author brandon26003 Posted March 29, 2016 Author Posted March 29, 2016 Sorry it took me so long to respond... About it being emasculating. I was raised by my grandparents. I have always been taught that it's the man's responsibility to pay on the first date. I think I just felt embarrassed because of how I was raised. Stereotypes. Everyone has certain stereotypes. I've always, although that it's not nice to, stereotyped people who drive expensive vehicles as snobby. I was pleasantly surprised because she is a very down-to-earth woman. Overanalyzing. I tend to overanalyze dating because I have been hurt more times than I can count. I don't have a problem getting women interested. I have a problem keeping them interested. My biggest issue is seeming too eager. If I'm not interested in a woman, I'm not interested. If I am interested, I think in my mind that I have to shower them with compliments. I think that I have to show them a lot of attention. This, again, is how I was raised. 2nd date. We have a second date scheduled for Thursday. I'm looking forward to it. I'll keep this thread posted.
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