ShootingStarlet Posted March 28, 2016 Posted March 28, 2016 So long story short, I had a very intensive 4 year on and off relationship with a guy from the age of 18-22 , he left me last year but said how I was his 'perfect girl' and he wanted to come back to me but needed 'space'. Well it sounded like BS to me but I felt sort of secure in the knowledge that he had broken it off 3 times before for 'space' but came back and had girls in the meantime but they would never 'reach the standard' I did even though I had severe emotional problems (BPD) anyway, he did the same thing, found another girl but this time it seems to have lasted, he's still with her and they went travelling together in Asia. I was a total pest after our break up, constantly texting him, begging, crying, pleading and then wishing him well and trying to give myself closure and accepting the break up and even tried to move on. However, I do wonder if he might miss me after some time (even a year or so) even though he has this girl. Can a girl really replace another girl? She's nothing like me, I'm very sweet, a bit docile, loving, I made him my world (a bit too much) and she's more domineering and tom boyish. I've recently gone into complete NC and I even deleted him on facebook (took me such strength especially with my bpd!) anyway, I was wondering from a guy's perspective if they ever look back and miss an old girlfriend and think about her, I would hate to think that the second he went off with her he literally forgot me and never will think about me again after all the time and love I put into our relationship I would love to meet him again, maybe even reconcile when I'm finished with all my therapy, but for now I'm ok in accepting that we are not together, but still just hopeful I'm still important somewhat to him
Author ShootingStarlet Posted March 28, 2016 Author Posted March 28, 2016 ....and I know on paper it looks like he didn't love me because he broke up with me a lot, but I had SEVERE emotional problems and I think any boy would have broken up with me and not come back, so him coming back at all was pretty amazing
Omei Posted March 28, 2016 Posted March 28, 2016 (edited) No they don't I talked to my ex once after a year of being broken up I too wished that he would miss me all I got was of course he thinks of me but has no desire to be with me. When people dump you it's because they don't wanna be with you Super hard to accept =/ makes us really sad and it hurts so so bad. But they don't come back You have to remind yourself over and over that they don't want you in their lives whenever I think about talking to my ex whom I still love 4 years later and deeply miss I have to remind myself he doesn't even want me he doesn't even reach out, then I lose desire too contact or spy because I know I'll hear those hurtful words "we broke up, we're over, I told you so many times its final" Remind yourself daily it helps tho it hurts to realize these things it's the truth he's not coming back. Edited March 28, 2016 by Omei 2
elaine567 Posted March 28, 2016 Posted March 28, 2016 When people dump you it's because they don't wanna be with you ^^^^ This. The longer you are away from someone, the less you think of them, and even if you do think of them you DO NOT want to be back with them.
Rachel39 Posted March 28, 2016 Posted March 28, 2016 (edited) I think it depends on the length of the relationship and the reasons it ended! If it was only a couple of months then maybe not but if you are talking about years and the things you have been through together then of course they will never forget about you, but it doesn't mean they would be with you! It depends on why it ended I originally ended it with my ex I felt manipulated into it as he'd lost interest in the relationship... I knew it wasn't what i wanted and apologised straightaway but it was too late Iv spent the last 8 weeks just getting him to talk to me which he won't and has turned it all around on me how is that fair .he didn't want to be with me I don't think but was a coward and had put this all on me now I'm left with the guilt !! Edited March 28, 2016 by Rachel39
barky2 Posted March 28, 2016 Posted March 28, 2016 Just responding to the question, as a guy. Sure they do. Now that's not to give you false hope because that's the worst thing you can get from my answer, but of course, there's times I think of my first love, there's times I think of the girl I was with for 10 years. Will I ever get back with them? Highly doubtful. Do I miss them? Sure, we had a lot of good times. But it doesn't mean anything. Zero. Keep pushing forward. Barky 2
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