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Online Dating Cancelled First Date

NinjaX

By NinjaX
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NinjaX Established Member

NinjaX

Posted
Posted

Hey everyone.

 

I chatted with a woman on Friday evening from POF, then closed a date on Saturday afternoon for Tuesday evening.

 

This morning (Sunday) I received this text:

 

Hi I apologize Tuesday night I can't make it cuz I need to study for my english exam on Thursday.

 

To me, it just sounds like a bunch of BS. My response is no response. She either needs to contact me again or I'm out.

 

I'm curious as to see how you guys handle it.

  • Like 1
TaraMaiden2 Established Member

TaraMaiden2

Posted
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Too hasty in my opinion.

If she needs to study, then give her space. She's prioritising her education, which is no bad thing.

 

Give her a second opportunity to date and suggest something.

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NinjaX Established Member

NinjaX

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I should add that she mentioned that she had a free day on Wednesday. If she really needed to study, she has plenty of time in between.

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TaraMaiden2 Established Member

TaraMaiden2

Posted
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Jeesh, you're a hard task master. In her shoes, if you're this difficult to date, I wouldn't bother.

What do you want her to do, fall at your feet?

Give the gal some leeway.... :rolleyes:

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Satu Established Member

Satu

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Watch it with those knee jerks.

 

You might end up slamming the door on someone who is genuinely interested.

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NinjaX Established Member

NinjaX

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Jeesh, you're a hard task master. In her shoes, if you're this difficult to date, I wouldn't bother.

What do you want her to do, fall at your feet?

Give the gal some leeway.... :rolleyes:

 

She agreed to the time. I chose a location that was very close to her. I made it easy for us to get together and then she disrespected the gift of my undivided attention.

 

If a girl doesn't offer any hint of reschedule in the text, she should be out.

  • Like 1
TaraMaiden2 Established Member

TaraMaiden2

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So why are you asking us...? Every time I have posted a reply, you've elaborated with more justification, to bolster your side of things.....

I still think you're being too harsh, but if she's not behaving in a way that eases your ego, give up.

 

Ok? ;)

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ff12343 Established Member

ff12343

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It's BS. She either decided she doesn't like you enough or found someone better from the app you found her on. This is coming from experience.

 

NEVER contact her again. Let's be honest. She didn't know she needed to study when she 'booked' this date with you?

 

Open your eyes. Keep swiping right.

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Erik30 Established Member

Erik30

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I would probably send her a sarcastic message... "cuz" she obviously does need to study for that English exam :p

 

But no response is fine. She'll reach out if she's really interested.

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loveweary11 Established Member

loveweary11

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You simply say "ok, next time" and don't try to handle it.

 

I just did the same for a date I had tonight. Canceled on her, letting her know it didn't make a lot of sense meeting each other when I'm leaving for the summer in a few days.

 

She wrote back this, which was a perfect response:

 

"Ok"

"BTW, you suck. Happy Easter!"

 

I laughed and she handled it very well. I'm pretty sure there is no better way she could have handled the cancelation than that.

 

Funny, charming and not full of hate.

 

That's what you do.

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NinjaX Established Member

NinjaX

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I'm really just making a discussion. Not much advice seeking.

 

The few posts above are good in my opinion.

 

Any sort of chasing from the man at this stage is such low value behaviour. It invites BS in your life

xXMarlboro_ManXx Established Member

xXMarlboro_ManXx

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Of course there are legit cancellations but this one seems pretty weak especially since she can do Wednesday. For me as a rule of thumb if it is a weak excuse I just move on to the next one. To me it shows lack of interest which going on a date will be a waste of both of our times.

spriggan2 Established Member

spriggan2

Posted
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Non response is a bit harsh when they texted you and at least provided an excuse.

 

That being said, in the context of so many flakes and ghosts in OLD I take a cancelled date as a sign of disinterest and i move on until I hear otherwise. I respond with a polite "ok no problem," but I fall back and dont initiate a second date and I let the girl take over if they actually wanna make it work. I let them reach out. If they're still interested they typically do.

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Sara1989 Established Member

Sara1989

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Hmm I had this recently but what happened is he didn't follow up on his second chance, I didn't care because I detached from the first cancellation.

 

 

If someone cancelled me on that flimsy excuse, yeah I write them off.

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NinjaX Established Member

NinjaX

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Hmm I had this recently but what happened is he didn't follow up on his second chance, I didn't care because I detached from the first cancellation.

 

 

If someone cancelled me on that flimsy excuse, yeah I write them off.

 

Just curious, if you actually wanted to see him, why didn't you offer a reschedule in your cancel text?

faithfully Established Member

faithfully

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She could have at least suggested a different day.

 

That's what I would have done if I was into somebody that asked me out on a date but couldn't make the original day

 

Obviously wasn't interested.

Sara1989 Established Member

Sara1989

Posted
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Just curious, if you actually wanted to see him, why didn't you offer a reschedule in your cancel text?

 

No lol he cancelled our second meet, we were meant to meet today instead but he didn't confirm. Im not chasing him

MissBee Established Member

MissBee

Posted
Posted
Hey everyone.

 

I chatted with a woman on Friday evening from POF, then closed a date on Saturday afternoon for Tuesday evening.

 

This morning (Sunday) I received this text:

 

Hi I apologize Tuesday night I can't make it cuz I need to study for my english exam on Thursday.

 

To me, it just sounds like a bunch of BS. My response is no response. She either needs to contact me again or I'm out.

 

I'm curious as to see how you guys handle it.

 

If she wanted to see you again she would have canceled and then proposed an alternative date/time. That's how people with manners and who are actually interested respond. If I truly couldn't go but was interested in a guy, I'd probably call not text, but I'd apologize for my oversight and say how about Thursday after my test, or how about Friday, or Saturday or ANY OTHER DAY I'm free. I think her not doing that suggests she simply doesn't want to go on the date. Don't do anything. If she is interested she will reach out again and propose something since SHE canceled.

  • Like 5
LookAtThisPOst Established Member

LookAtThisPOst

Posted
Posted
Hey everyone.

 

I chatted with a woman on Friday evening from POF, then closed a date on Saturday afternoon for Tuesday evening.

 

This morning (Sunday) I received this text:

 

Hi I apologize Tuesday night I can't make it cuz I need to study for my english exam on Thursday.

 

To me, it just sounds like a bunch of BS. My response is no response. She either needs to contact me again or I'm out.

 

I'm curious as to see how you guys handle it.

 

If she entertained a day to reschedule in the same conversation, it isn't BS...if she did not offer an alternative...she's full of BS.

Boomerangmagnet Member

Boomerangmagnet

Posted
Posted

She committed to a date. Did she find out about the test over the course of the night? I think not. Chain yanking isn't nice. I agree to leave her be.

hippychick3 Established Member

hippychick3

Posted
Posted

If she were truly interested, she'd offer an alternative date. However, she really doesn't even know you yet since you haven't met. So I wouldn't take it as a rejection or take it too personally.

 

A mature and classy response from you would be, "I understand. Let me know if you're available a different day. Good luck on your test."

  • Like 3
SunnyWeather Established Member

SunnyWeather

Posted
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I should add that she mentioned that she had a free day on Wednesday. If she really needed to study, she has plenty of time in between.

 

I don't understand why everyone is saying she didn't suggest another day, but this post seems to indicate otherwise.

 

I hate to break it to you OP, but you are NOT a priority in her life. You should be thankful she gave you several day's notice and didn't flake on you altogether.

 

Personally, with your attitude I think she dodged a bullet.

NYC-BigKat Established Member

NYC-BigKat

Posted
Posted
Hey everyone.

 

I chatted with a woman on Friday evening from POF, then closed a date on Saturday afternoon for Tuesday evening.

 

This morning (Sunday) I received this text:

 

Hi I apologize Tuesday night I can't make it cuz I need to study for my english exam on Thursday.

 

To me, it just sounds like a bunch of BS. My response is no response. She either needs to contact me again or I'm out.

 

I'm curious as to see how you guys handle it.

 

Um...maybe u should try & give it once last chance to reschedule & see what she does. If she gets flakey some more then drop her.

  • Like 1
hippychick3 Established Member

hippychick3

Posted
Posted
I don't understand why everyone is saying she didn't suggest another day, but this post seems to indicate otherwise.

 

I hate to break it to you OP, but you are NOT a priority in her life. You should be thankful she gave you several day's notice and didn't flake on you altogether.

 

Personally, with your attitude I think she dodged a bullet.

 

I understood that to mean she gave an alternative day when they were initially setting up the date. But, if she had mentioned the alternative day when she was canceling, then OP is too uptight and inflexible and she dodged a bullet.

fitnessfan365 Established Member

fitnessfan365

Posted
Posted
I should add that she mentioned that she had a free day on Wednesday. If she really needed to study, she has plenty of time in between.

 

Or she changed her mind and wants to study Tues so she can enjoy having free time on her day off. You have to remember, you're some random guy from the internet to her who she's never spent anytime with. So of course you're not going to be a priority.

 

Let her reach out to you again since she cancelled and if/when she does arrange another date.

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