NicoleWill Posted March 27, 2016 Posted March 27, 2016 Last Friday (the 18th), I went to go see my boyfriend and it ended with me going home early, by choice. We've been dating for over 4 years. So I went to go see him after I got off work. We usually talk on the phone every night; however, I didn't call him the night before (Thursday, the 17th) nor did he call me. I wasn't mad about that and I didn't call him because I truly didn't feel like talking on the phone. We talked throughout the day that day, just not at night when he got off of work. I was just focusing on writing a paper for school and wanted my me time after that before i went to sleep. So the following day, that Friday (the 18th), he calls me when I'm at work (with an attitude) and asks what time i'm coming to see him and why i didn't call him the night before. I told him that I just didn't feel like talking on the phone then I asked why he didn't call (i was just curious), and he said that same thing; however, he said it with an attitude. He was mad at my response to his question and rushed off the phone. He basically hung up on me. So I called him back to tell him not to hang up on me. I still went to go see him after work and kissed him, but he basically ignored me for awhile until it was time for him to pick up his mom (about 30 mins after I got there). He didn't even tell me where he was going; i had to ask him where he was going and that's when he told me that he's going to pick her up. So then i asked him if he's going to run errands with her afterwards and he said yes then left. I'm constantly waiting for him while he's taking his mom around to run errands cause she doesn't drive, and it's a little annoying sometimes cause i feel like he doesn't make me a priority sometimes. So after he walked out, i just texted him that "i was leaving since he ignored me while i was there and was going to leave without notice or anything, and that i'm tired of waiting for him while he runs errands" and his response was "okay" . I also texted him to make me a priority sometimes, which I don't know if I was wrong for that? And his response was just "okay" to that too. I haven't heard from him since-- it's been over a week. If i'm wrong, i'll contact him but i don't feel like i am. I also just found out this morning that he's entertaining other girls and he hung out with another girl last night. I just don't understand how he could do this and it's olny been a little over a week since our argument. this really hurts
TaraMaiden2 Posted March 27, 2016 Posted March 27, 2016 I think you know where this is going, don't you....? You're not a priority it seems. Anyone who's not a priority, is an option. He cares less about you than you do about him. It sounds as if actually, it might have been going stale for him for a while; he just couldn't be bothered to tell you. I mean, he had the luxury of sex if he wanted it, and freedom to do his own thing, all the time. Cut your losses and ghost him. Move on. This one was packed in a crate and sent to never-land a while ago...
ff12343 Posted March 27, 2016 Posted March 27, 2016 Attitudes toward loved ones are unacceptable. Especially those without apologies immediately afterwards. I think you need to do what is going to hurt you the most at first but you will know where you stand afterwards and that is to ghost him for at least a week. At minimum a week. Maybe even two weeks. Show him what he "potentially" lost by being careless and taking advantage of someone who cares about him. Put him in his place. Best way to do this again is not verbally but with silence. He'll learn. 1
Author NicoleWill Posted March 27, 2016 Author Posted March 27, 2016 Hi ff12343, But I already did that this past week. This past Friday, the 25th, made 1 week since we last spoke and I didn't contact him at a nor did he contact me.
ff12343 Posted March 27, 2016 Posted March 27, 2016 Hi ff12343, But I already did that this past week. This past Friday, the 25th, made 1 week since we last spoke and I didn't contact him at a nor did he contact me. Keep it up. Clearly you are seeing where you stand. Trying to make someone understand something especially with logic is useless. If they can't for themselves see what they are losing, then they simply don't deserve you. It's that simple. Don't let your feelings get in the way of someone stepping all over you. Have respect for yourself. 3
TaraMaiden2 Posted March 27, 2016 Posted March 27, 2016 Hi ff12343, But I already did that this past week. This past Friday, the 25th, made 1 week since we last spoke and I didn't contact him at a nor did he contact me. Keep it up. Clearly you are seeing where you stand. ...And if you don't hear from him at all for ANOTHER week - then I think you can pretty much accept that this is over. 4 years, 4 months, 40 weeks, whatever; time has no relevance to the situation at all, when it's over. When it's over, it's over. The length of the relationship has absolutely no bearing on the break up or how it's done. So don't think to yourself "4 years, thrown away, just like that!" The period of time dating, is irrelevant. When the feelings aren't there, is inconsequential and incomparable, to the time spent dating. There's no magic ratio. 2
ff12343 Posted March 27, 2016 Posted March 27, 2016 It's because he is so comfortable with you after 4 years that he thinks he can get away with treating you like a piece of dirty laundry. Show him otherwise. 2
TaraMaiden2 Posted March 27, 2016 Posted March 27, 2016 It's because he is so comfortable with you after 4 years that he thinks he can get away with treating you like a piece of dirty laundry. Show him otherwise. If he's treating her like this, and keeps "constantly waiting for him while he's taking his mom around to run errands " then he's already demonstrating indifference, particularly with the one-word 'okay' responses. He's essentially saying, "I get what you're saying, but it makes no difference to me at all." Evident by his lack of interest or contact. Classic "He who cares the least controls the most" mode. 2
ff12343 Posted March 27, 2016 Posted March 27, 2016 If he's treating her like this, and keeps then he's already demonstrating indifference, particularly with the one-word 'okay' responses. He's essentially saying, "I get what you're saying, but it makes no difference to me at all." Evident by his lack of interest or contact. Classic "He who cares the least controls the most" mode. Exactly. Nicole, it's that time of the month. #ghostmode 2
mikeylo Posted March 27, 2016 Posted March 27, 2016 The moment he started going around with other girls , your relationship ended. It's entirely upto you. The arguments, running errands are an excuse. It's as clear as day. 1
preraph Posted March 27, 2016 Posted March 27, 2016 Look, it's just like with raising children; if you tell someone their behavior is unacceptable but then don't back it up with actions showing you won't accept it or withholding your attention, the children won't pay any attention to what you say, ever, because they know you'll cave. Don't cave. He is NOT worth having back if he can't give you some consideration, and you know it. Truth is, you're of school age and that's an age most people want to be free and go out with different people. This whole thing (and half his errands with his mother) maybe be his excuse for breaking away and doing that. And if he does, you certainly should to. So you start right now making plans to go out with friends or on a date if you have anyone you're interested in. But do NOT sit around and wait. You show him that he is not the only one who can move on. Good luck. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted March 27, 2016 Posted March 27, 2016 The moment he started going around with other girls , your relationship ended. It's entirely upto you. The arguments, running errands are an excuse. It's as clear as day. I was about to say this too. OP, if that's his response to conflict, the relationship is essentially dead. Whether he's hanging out with other girls as an immature revenge tactic or out of genuine desire, it is destructive and speaks volumes about his mindset. How was your relationship going recently, up until this point? Is he generally argumentative? Did you have any other inkling he's losing interest in the relationship? I have a feeling this could have been his ill-advised exit strategy - picking a rather silly fight with you and then walking away. 1
Leigh 87 Posted March 28, 2016 Posted March 28, 2016 He just isn't that into you. After 4 years he should have proposed to you already. Unless you are really young. After 4 years he should be stepping it up, the fact he is entertaining other women signals that you are definately not the love of his life. You were just a girl he was dating long term and comefortable with. Wow... After 4 years he is " hanging out " with other women.... And he was too pissweak to end it properly..... It seems like rather than ending it, he just sort of expected you to get the message:sick: Peope like this lack empathy. Not someone you want for a relationship. Please, the moment your " boyfriend" starts even remotely considering other women as a possibilty, is the time to accept that the realtionship has run its course.
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