Why is my ex selfish?

[Dente]

I've been broken up with my ex for least 18 months. I accepted it and told her just let it go because shes in another relationship and been trying to keep me as a friend and giving me lines of BS during those months. Why is she selfish? Doesn't she know It hurts when your with someone else and throwing me breadcrums constantly but I've been strong enough to recognize them and repeal them.

 

She called me crying 6 months ago and told me in person that she wanted to work us out. (what she was trying to do was see me and work on each other slowly while shes with this guy she did it a bunch of times I agree to it but then realize what was happening and stop it) being love blind for a while I realize she was doing ("the monkey approach") and also keeping me as backup. I stopped it all tho

 

So realizing everything she did even (cheated on the guy) I'm taking drastic steps to just heal and mend my heart. I just started no contact 2 months ago but she always reaches out I asked her politely not to reach out when shes with another man Its sick and degrading and after 8 years of being together she treats me this way with no respect.

 

About a week ago I blocked her from Instagram she later text me telling me "oh blocked again" I didn't reply. So a week went by and she blocks me from Instagram I'm like good ill heal faster and get out this limbo. So Yesterday she text me with a "prayer symbol" I didn't reply and found out her dog got attack by another dog. I didn't reply. then she unblocks me from Instagram and puts a picture of her and the dog. Down by the comments section she says "Love you (dogs name and her new man). I don't know if its to grab my attention?After she text me 8 hours ago. because i haven't spoke to her for awhile or saw her. Just regular breadcrums?

 

I'm trying to let go its been so long we been broken apart and I've been chatting up different potential dates in my radar. but my ex still insists and doesn't let go.

 

She even told me to wait for her.....as she waited 8 years for me to change.(she got some nerves) I know i know its up to me to let go also and I've been trying I've been healing. I don't get those chest pains from the breakup lmao (those sucks) and I don't think about her a lot as i use too but its only up to me to decided if I want to stay like this or get strong enough and move on.

 

She still insist .....in having some type of relationship with me as friends with benefits or a friendship or text buddie but damn ...I love my ex very much but after 8 years this is the type of integrity she has....(I take blame in the relationship that went downhill I know my faults and accepted the consequences.) but damn...I know myself too (small rant)

Edited March 27, 2016 by Dente
add-on

[Zahara]

Let's be honest. You're not choosing to heal and move on. This isn't NC. You're playing games to get a reaction. Blocking, unblocking, still being accessible to contact. I mean, she's at the point of laughing at your failed attempts to keep her away for 18 MONTHS. What an incredible ego boost she gets by your pining.

 

You're playing cat and mouse games -- because YOU can't let go.

 

Instead of questioning her behavior -- best to analyze why you've put up with being a yo yo for this long. If anything, you've established yourself to her as weak, affected and still attached. Don't put it on her. It's not her responsibility to help you move on and heal. It's yours.

 

Stop playing games. Block her from having ANY access to you and move on. It's ridicilous behavior on your part to still be questioning her actions after 18 months and consciously making the choice to keep stagnating in the same exact spot.

 

BLOCK HER. EVERYWHERE. If you blocked her a long time ago, you wouldn't be on here still questioning why she does ABC because you would have had no access to nonsense.

Edited March 27, 2016 by Zahara

[Dente]

Let's be honest. You're not choosing to heal and move on. This isn't NC. You're playing games to get a reaction. Blocking, unblocking, still being accessible to contact. I mean, she's at the point of laughing at your failed attempts to keep her away for 18 MONTHS. What an incredible ego boost she gets by your pining.

 

You're playing cat and mouse games -- because YOU can't let go.

 

Instead of questioning her behavior -- best to analyze why you've put up with being a yo yo for this long. If anything, you've established yourself to her as weak, affected and still attached. Don't put it on her. It's not her responsibility to help you move on and heal. It's yours.

 

Stop playing games. Block her from having ANY access to you and move on.

It's ridicilous behavior on your part to still be questioning her actions after 18 months and consciously making the choice to keep stagnating in the same exact spot.

 

BLOCK HER. EVERYWHERE. If you blocked her a long time ago, you wouldn't be on here still questioning why she does ABC because you would have had no access to nonsense.

 

Yes you are right. You are absolutely right.

[Satu]

snip

*I just started no contact 2 months ago but she always reaches out I asked her politely not to reach out when she's with another man Its sick and degrading and after 8 years of being together she treats me this way with no respect.

 

About a week ago I blocked her from Instagram *she later text me telling me "oh blocked again" I didn't reply. So a week went by and she blocks me from Instagram I'm like good ill heal faster and get out this limbo. So Yesterday *she text me with a "prayer symbol" I didn't reply and found out her dog got attack by another dog. I didn't reply. then *she unblocks me from Instagram and puts a picture of her and the dog. Down by the comments section she says "Love you (dogs name and her new man). I don't know if its to grab my attention?After she text me 8 hours ago. because i haven't spoke to her for awhile or saw her. Just regular breadcrums?

 

 

 

'No Contact,' means No Contact.

 

There's not much point in kidding yourself that you're doing it, when you aren't.

 

 

*No direct contact.

*No sending or receiving of messages.

*Block any means she might use to contact you.

*No replies to anything that gets through your blocks.

*No indirect contact through third parties.

*De-friend or delete from all social media.

*No monitoring of her on social media.

*No 'little birds' feeding you news.

*Tell people that you don't want to know anything about what she is doing or saying.