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Is my mind playing tricks on me?

thatsme123

By thatsme123
in Coping

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thatsme123 Member

thatsme123

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It has been almost 2 months of NC with my ex-boyfriend (we were together for 1.5 years). I haven't talked to him in almost 8 weeks, and I haven't seen him in almost 9 weeks. I feel like I have progressed a lot in terms of moving on. Of course I still think about him, but my days are generally more up than down, and I am no longer obsessing/ruminating in the ways that I used to (I mean, of course I do sometimes, but its not as bad!).

 

Anyway, I'm home for the summer (I'm a college kid), and we live literally less than 5 minutes away from each other (by car). I'm so scared I'm going to run into him. Part of me wanted to before when I was still obsessing over him, but now I just want to be able to go through this summer without having to see his face or hear about his life! I do have some bitterness and resentment left towards him, but its mostly because of things that didn't really get much closure from our breakup (he brokeup with me). For the most part, I really do wish him the best...I never wanted to look at it like this, but now I can see that he really did me a favor for breaking up with me, and I am probably better off without him. What I miss most from him is his friendship and just him being a physical comfort.

 

Anyway, back to the point. Instead of just obsessing over him, I'm now starting to obsess over avoiding him. I feel like everywhere I go, I have to search for him to make sure hes not there. Just now I looked out my window and I thought I saw a car just like his. I couldn't see the driver, but I have started to convince myself that it was him. And for some reason, I am freaking out over this.

 

How can I force myself to stop obsessing like this? I have been telling myself that if I do happen to run into him, then I should just play it cool, but honestly, I don't know how well I'd be able to do that, judging by what happened just now! So my second question is, if I do run into him, what do I do? I don't want to hear about how hes doing and who hes spending time with. Yeah I want him to be happy, but I don't want to hear about it and how hes happy without me...you know what I mean?

 

Thank you :)

laRubiaBonita Established Member

laRubiaBonita

Posted
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firstly, just the fact that you are at least wanting to prepare yourself, and emotional state....is way cool! KUDOS for that! :D

 

how would you want him to act, if he were to "act" when seeing you?

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thatsme123 Member

thatsme123

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Hmm...good question. It's so hard to say. Knowing how he is, he'll probably be very awkward if we did happen to run into each other. Since it has been so long (well, it feels like it has) since we've seen each other/talked, I don't know. I would probably be offended/hurt if we saw each other and he ignored me/ran away. But us actually talking to each other would seem so awkward and scary. We tried the "friendship" thing 3 weeks after he first broke up with me, after 3 weeks of no contact that was brought on by HIM, and he was the one that contacted me. And then after about a month of hell and bitterness, he basically told me that he wanted no contact again, but he left it up to me to enforce it. And I did. And so it was just kind of a confusing ending and it's so hard to know how he feels about me. I have been telling myself that it doesn't matter, and it has been working. But the thought of running into him has hit me now, so...yeah, it's scary!

 

Heh so to answer your question...I guess I'd want him to acknowledge my presence, give me a smile or something just to know that he doesn't hate me...but in terms of talking, I'm absolutely clueless as to what I would want. My guess is that he probably thinks I hate HIM...so lots of awkwardness would ensue! :laugh:

Merin Established Member

Merin

Posted
Posted

IF you run into you EX remain calm.

Take a deep breath.. *in with the good, out with the bad*

serenity, serenity, serenity..

Exhale.. whew..

Then walk up and sock him in the face :laugh: JK JK JK!

 

Because the 2 of you live so close to one another it's bound to happen at some point.. (not the socking him in the face part! ha!) but the running into him part..

 

When you do.. keep it together.. say hello, don't ask about him, don't tell him about whats new with you.. just a hello, whats up deal and then be on your way.. if you have to tell him you'd like to catch up but you've got some where to be (don't tell him where) and leave.

 

Hang in there :)

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