Are flaky guys just not that interested, or just bad at keeping plans?

[Mizz Layta]

I met this guy through a mutual friend 2 weeks ago.The first time we arranged to meet up, he flaked on our plans.Basically,I didn't hear from him until 3 hours after we were supposed to meet, I know that should have been a red flag. But, I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt in the event that his phone was wacky, had an emergency, etc.

 

 

 

Having said that, Last week he told me that he would like to see me sometime this coming up week and asked when I'm available. So on Monday I let him know that we can still meet up after work any day since we both work day shifts. He suggested Thursday or Saturday evening. I prefer to make solid plans rather than ambiguity therefor I suggested we set up to meet for Sat evening instead. He agreed and said sure, "I can't wait to see you"

 

Ironically, he didn't return any of my text yesterday so I asked him if we're still on the next day(which is today) he didn't reply . This morning, I texted him again asking him to confirm within reasonable amount of time if we are still on or not -he responded few hours later and just said "LOL"

 

Incidentally, we had loose plans to hang out today after work and he hasn't confirm or cancel .Now I'm not expecting him to still follow since it's been hours he left me hanging . Nevertheless,I'm going to lose his number given he has demonstrated that he's unreliable which is a deal breaker to me.

 

 

So my question is, are flaky guys just not that interested, or just bad at keeping plans?

[Spikiera]

If he's interested, he will do whatever it takes to see you. That's really all there is to it.

[selinaluv]

I just dealt with one like this recently. Almost flaked first time and kind of had a legitimate excuse. Begged me three times to see me again, set a day, but I had a feeling something was off and when I texted to confirm, nothing. He texted me days later like nothing had happened. I told him he flaked, he apologized and the conversation was over and I won't see him again.

 

My thing is if he isn't making the effort to get it right at the beginning, it is only going to get more frustrating for me down the road.

[itstoni]

As a guy, I don't know what his reason for flaking is. It sounds like he is unexperienced and shy. If a girl flaked on me twice with no legitimate excuse then I I delete and next. If he was really intrested he would make the effort to see you.

[Scarlett.O'hara]

Flaky guys (and women) are just inconsiderate people. They don't value your time or your feelings. It is all about them.

 

If you experience this behavior in the early stages of dating someone, consider yourself lucky because you are getting a good insight into their character.

 

In regards to your experience, I can't understand why on earth he responded with "LOL" to your question. At best he is socially inept, at worst he is a complete jerk who enjoyed getting your hopes up only to reject you.

 

Either way, I would block his number so if he does ever decide to reach out he will be met by his own rejection. Perhaps that will be a wake up call to not take other people for granted.

[candie13]

he's taking a piss. He did not deserve a second chance. I understand why you did - because you liked him. But nothing ever good comes from giving a second chance to people who did not treasure the first one.

 

Vanish into thin air and cut all communication. Why he's flaking is irrelevant, none of us here is a mind reader. The real reason is why did you accept to give such an unreliable and disrespectful creature a second chance.

[ff12343]

His "LOL" is all that's needed for you to completely disappear from his world.

[Jabron1]

I agree with the others. The level of disrespect here is really bad.

 

So my question is, are flaky guys just not that interested, or just bad at keeping plans?

 

This guy was just a d*ckhead, to be honest. You're well rid of him.