sweetadeline Posted June 15, 2005 Posted June 15, 2005 The story: Guy and girl meet via online dating site. After a few e-mail exchanges, one of which ends with his telling her that she's a catch, they meet for a drink. They talk for hours, seem to connect on many levels, agree they are glad they met. Hand-holding is involved, and even a few kisses. At the end of the night, though, the tone changes a bit. Guy seems a little more reserved than he had earlier, but girl isn't sure why. It could be that his two drinks have worn off; it could be that she said something that turned him off; it could be her imagination. Or not. In the end, guy walks girl to her car, kisses her again, and tells her "I'll look you up when I come back." (He's going out of the country for three weeks as of tomorrow.) Girl thinks he might e-mail her before he goes, at least to say that he had a great date, but doesn't hear from him. Girl remembers slight shift at end of date and thinks about the many possible meanings of the phrase "look you up." Girl starts to wonder if she was being blown off, in spite of the wonderful date, especially since girl has had this experience before. Slightly weird but possibly unrelated addendum: girl sees guy bicycling down street the next day (they live in the same part of town). Girl turns around and looks at guy, who turns and looks back but doesn't seem to recognize her, even though they had spent five hours together the previous night. Girl isn't sure if this means anything, but it doesn't make her feel good. Any thoughts, LSers?
crazy_grl Posted June 15, 2005 Posted June 15, 2005 Originally posted by sweetadeline The story: Guy and girl meet via online dating site. After a few e-mail exchanges, one of which ends with his telling her that she's a catch, they meet for a drink. They talk for hours, seem to connect on many levels, agree they are glad they met. Hand-holding is involved, and even a few kisses. At the end of the night, though, the tone changes a bit. Guy seems a little more reserved than he had earlier, but girl isn't sure why. It could be that his two drinks have worn off; it could be that she said something that turned him off; it could be her imagination. Or not. In the end, guy walks girl to her car, kisses her again, and tells her "I'll look you up when I come back." (He's going out of the country for three weeks as of tomorrow.) Girl thinks he might e-mail her before he goes, at least to say that he had a great date, but doesn't hear from him. Girl remembers slight shift at end of date and thinks about the many possible meanings of the phrase "look you up." Girl starts to wonder if she was being blown off, in spite of the wonderful date, especially since girl has had this experience before. Slightly weird but possibly unrelated addendum: girl sees guy bicycling down street the next day (they live in the same part of town). Girl turns around and looks at guy, who turns and looks back but doesn't seem to recognize her, even though they had spent five hours together the previous night. Girl isn't sure if this means anything, but it doesn't make her feel good. Any thoughts, LSers? Initial thoughts: he got sick of you calling yourself 'girl' and him 'guy' the entire night. j/k Seriously though: While it seems odd that he said "I'll look you up" instead of just "I'll call you." or "I'll see you.", you can't be sure until you ask him. Call (or email if you don't have his phone #) him before he leaves to say that you hope he has a nice trip. Tell him you had a great time out with him, but it felt like you may have done something that upset or offended him in some way. Find out for sure what he's thinking about this before he leaves. That way if he's not interested, you can move on instead of sitting around wondering for 3 weeks until he comes back, only to have him never contact you again.
Author sweetadeline Posted June 15, 2005 Author Posted June 15, 2005 Originally posted by crazy_grl Tell him you had a great time out with him, but it felt like you may have done something that upset or offended him in some way. Find out for sure what he's thinking about this before he leaves. I like this idea, but I also don't want to weird him out by coming across as too obsesssive, or too neurotic, or too desperate. (While I may have spent the last two days neurotically obsessing about what he said/didn't say, I don't want him to figure that out. Heh.) Guys, any thoughts on this one? Without dragging the clunky ol' gender stereotypes completely out of the basement, I know that it is easy for men and women to percieve the same event/date/kiss/attempt at communication in radically different ways.
Marshbear Posted June 15, 2005 Posted June 15, 2005 The bottom line is that if he is interested he will get in touch with you. You can guess his motives tell the fat lady sings but the results are the same, if he likes you he will email, call, etc. SORRY...
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