kendahke Posted March 27, 2016 Posted March 27, 2016 Well I'm 25, he's 35. Maybe it's a cultural thing as I'm Asian and usually date Asian guys who are fast in making commitment. Your ages and nationalities are non sequitur. Why aren't you in a position to have your own line of credit at 25? He is still quite right in not letting you near his credit card. 1
joseb Posted March 28, 2016 Posted March 28, 2016 OP do you have your own credit card? You are moving overseas in a few months (alone), and you two are not even sleeping together but you expect him to give you his credit card to use whenever??
Author Alice0111 Posted March 29, 2016 Author Posted March 29, 2016 OP do you have your own credit card? You are moving overseas in a few months (alone), and you two are not even sleeping together but you expect him to give you his credit card to use whenever?? It's a misunderstanding... Actually we've slept together since then and that's not related... I only needed it one time for a very small amount and I will never use it for anything else without asking him. To me it's not so different from lending money to a friend as you trust him/her as a person.
Emilia Posted March 29, 2016 Posted March 29, 2016 I agree that the issue of boundaries can be cultural. Not sure how many here will be able to help. I dated Asian men in the past and I found them needy, getting jealous, possessive. For us in the West that's not really appreciated.
hippychick3 Posted March 29, 2016 Posted March 29, 2016 It's a misunderstanding... Actually we've slept together since then and that's not related... I only needed it one time for a very small amount and I will never use it for anything else without asking him. To me it's not so different from lending money to a friend as you trust him/her as a person. Asking for cash is way different than asking for someone's cc number. Why are you needing to borrow money from your bf after only 4 mos together? It would feel very strange to ask my bf if I could borrow money from him, and we've been together for awhile.
SammySammy Posted March 29, 2016 Posted March 29, 2016 Giving your credit card number to someone you barely know is foolish no matter what culture you're from. 3
Author Alice0111 Posted March 30, 2016 Author Posted March 30, 2016 Asking for cash is way different than asking for someone's cc number. Why are you needing to borrow money from your bf after only 4 mos together? It would feel very strange to ask my bf if I could borrow money from him, and we've been together for awhile. No I wasn't trying to borrow money. I have money and I don't need anybody else's. The help I asked for was the payment method. I once needed to book something that only accepted payment through credit card and it was of tiny amount. And it would be a one time thing. I realize there's much misunderstanding in this post and it is a much more sensitive issue than I thought it would be. Maybe my perspective was too simple and naive. Anyway, I asked my dad in the end. However, I feel dating regularly for 4 months isn't a short time (I wouldn't say we barely know each other). I have known a few friends who got married within knowing each other for 6 months... It's considered the norm in my culture.
Els Posted March 30, 2016 Posted March 30, 2016 (edited) So many issues here... 1. I'm from an Asian culture as well and I agree with the others that it's out of line for you to ASK for his CC info, especially in a 4 month R. Asian men in relationships generally do share it, but usually of their own accord, and not always that quickly. I can't imagine ASKING for it. If you really need to make an online purchase and can't get a credit card, then get a debit card - it works for most online purchases. I still use one because I don't want to pay CC fees. 2. No, having sex with a man is certainly not a guarantee that he will stay. 3. The whole thing about the obsessed girl is just weird. The mature thing for him to do would be to block her. If she keeps doing it he is most likely encouraging it in some form or another - one hand cannot clap alone. 4. Perhaps the most pertinent point - he doesn't want a LDR. He has been honest with you about it. His CC info is the least of your concern. LDRs only work when both people believe wholeheartedly that they can work, and are willing to invest time, effort, and money into making them work. If you want a relationship then there is no point going further with this guy. Edited March 30, 2016 by Elswyth
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