How busy are single moms? She goes weeks without contacting me

[Petsareoverrated]

I am currently 'involved' with a single mom of 3 (i am a dad myself just for the purpose of the thread) who is under treatment for just diagnosed with depression and some other issues. She is currently not working and is on the sick leave while she gets the treatment. We have been on 3 dates so far. Kissed, flirted, hugged, held hands, linked arms, lying on each others shoulder, etc the usual stuff for public place dates.

 

She used to contact me and message me everyday very full on, even after the last date she would continue to text saying she had a good time, etc. She was very full on and forward in these messages that I felt certain she wanted something more than just 'hang out'.

 

We made some further plans but after a few days her contact dropped considerably and she started ignoring my messages, until I forcefully asked her what the deal is. She said she's been unbearably busy and she's sorry. Another few days of no contact she calls me up randomly and we chat for over an hour on the phone. Next day no contact again for another week or so until she messages me randomly again.

 

Now at this point I'd begun ignoring her myself on social media and stuff simply because she is ignoring me too much for my liking so it makes me not want to make any plans for seeing her again when I am not one of her priorities. This woman is always on her phone updating her facebook with her kids pictures, etc, how can she be 'too busy' to reply to a message?

 

Finally I asked her straight up if she meant the full on stuff she had said in the earlier messages and she said she definitely did and that her current state of mental health means she is very moody and doesn't want to talk sometimes but she still likes me.

 

Then yesterday she's called me up again (after another week or so of no contact) and told me to come round for drinks and hang out with her.

 

I don't want to outright come out and ask her to be in a relationship with me because her behavior in not prioritizing me has made me angry but at the same time I do like her and feel like I should go round and make a move on her, but in my head it no longer feels like she wants anything serious as her earlier messages had implied.

 

Is she really this busy? Does she just want sex? Is it her new diagnosis in mental health? Is she involved with someone else? If she is not interested in me why does she still keep phoning me up after ignoring me for weeks?

[ff12343]

I am currently 'involved' with a single mom of 3 (i am a dad myself just for the purpose of the thread) who is under treatment for just diagnosed with depression and some other issues. She is currently not working and is on the sick leave while she gets the treatment. We have been on 3 dates so far. Kissed, flirted, hugged, held hands, linked arms, lying on each others shoulder, etc the usual stuff for public place dates.

 

She used to contact me and message me everyday very full on, even after the last date she would continue to text saying she had a good time, etc. She was very full on and forward in these messages that I felt certain she wanted something more than just 'hang out'.

 

We made some further plans but after a few days her contact dropped considerably and she started ignoring my messages, until I forcefully asked her what the deal is. She said she's been unbearably busy and she's sorry. Another few days of no contact she calls me up randomly and we chat for over an hour on the phone. Next day no contact again for another week or so until she messages me randomly again.

 

Now at this point I'd begun ignoring her myself on social media and stuff simply because she is ignoring me too much for my liking so it makes me not want to make any plans for seeing her again when I am not one of her priorities. This woman is always on her phone updating her facebook with her kids pictures, etc, how can she be 'too busy' to reply to a message?

 

Finally I asked her straight up if she meant the full on stuff she had said in the earlier messages and she said she definitely did and that her current state of mental health means she is very moody and doesn't want to talk sometimes but she still likes me.

 

Then yesterday she's called me up again (after another week or so of no contact) and told me to come round for drinks and hang out with her.

 

I don't want to outright come out and ask her to be in a relationship with me because her behavior in not prioritizing me has made me angry but at the same time I do like her and feel like I should go round and make a move on her, but in my head it no longer feels like she wants anything serious as her earlier messages had implied.

 

Is she really this busy? Does she just want sex? Is it her new diagnosis in mental health? Is she involved with someone else? If she is not interested in me why does she still keep phoning me up after ignoring me for weeks?

 

You nailed it. Sending a txt takes .005 seconds out of someone's day. Sounds like a bit of game playing. Maybe she doesn't know and once days goes by she feels you fading. Again it's a bit of games. If I were you, I would prepare for an exit on your part. Sounds like it's not worth it.

[acrosstheuniverse]

Not THAT busy. Takes literally twenty seconds to second a text. We all go use the bathroom each day alone even if you're crazy busy. That's more than enough time to send a message saying 'busy right now but missing you' or something.

 

The whole 'sorry I've just been soooo busy' line is a coward's way of letting you down gently when you're not good with conflict or simply saying you've lost interest. Take it as her having lost interest. Whether it's related to her mental health or not is irrelevant, she's not interested in dating you to the level you need her to be.

 

Get busy dating elsewhere, you'll find someone who prioritises you.

[preraph]

Unless they have lots of money and can hire all the help they need, they are full-time and then some busy. Depends what age the kids are, but if there's any 12 or under, they're very busy. Have to stay right on top of them and they can't do anything for themselves or be trusted to turn the stove off, not put the cat in the microwave, beat up their sibling, etc. Plus anyone stepping into that situation falls way low on the totem pole of priorities. It's not easy, especially since a good mother won't let her kids meet a new person until she's known him a very long time because that's bad for the kids in many ways. So that makes it all very hard.

[ff12343]

Unless they have lots of money and can hire all the help they need, they are full-time and then some busy. Depends what age the kids are, but if there's any 12 or under, they're very busy. Have to stay right on top of them and they can't do anything for themselves or be trusted to turn the stove off, not put the cat in the microwave, beat up their sibling, etc. Plus anyone stepping into that situation falls way low on the totem pole of priorities. It's not easy, especially since a good mother won't let her kids meet a new person until she's known him a very long time because that's bad for the kids in many ways. So that makes it all very hard.

 

Point being is sending a text or making a phone call takes less than a fraction of your time away. Kids or not, OP should know where he stands.

 

Done deal.

[startingagain15]

I'm a single mom of 4 kids under 13. I can still manage to text my boyfriend at least a few times a day even on my busiest days. It doesn't take much time to give even that little of effort if she really wants the relationship to work.

[jen1447]

Yeah, like it or not, communication is a direct reflection of the desire to communicate. Busy ppl make time, even if it's only a few moments. I've never wanted for attention from busy-ass ppl who nonetheless wanted to interact.

[phineas]

Unless they have lots of money and can hire all the help they need, they are full-time and then some busy. Depends what age the kids are, but if there's any 12 or under, they're very busy. Have to stay right on top of them and they can't do anything for themselves or be trusted to turn the stove off, not put the cat in the microwave, beat up their sibling, etc. Plus anyone stepping into that situation falls way low on the totem pole of priorities. It's not easy, especially since a good mother won't let her kids meet a new person until she's known him a very long time because that's bad for the kids in many ways. So that makes it all very hard.

 

I promise you, if you could look at her text history you would see lots & lots & lots of texts between her and her friends/family/ and yes, other guys who want to sleep with her.

 

She just isn't all that into OP or playing games.

IF OP wants to know if she's playing games then he should wait a day to respond, make small talk then tell her he's stepping out & end the convo.

 

Don't contact her again.

IF she contacts again.

Repeat.

 

Basically you show a woman who isn't making an effort that you are not waiting around and she stops the game playing.

 

That said, the woman was diagnosed with depression.

sorry but i'm not going to deal with that.

i've been there before & while the depression itself is an issue,the biggest issue is most women I know use it as an excuse for lousy behavior.

Edited April 2, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Language ~T

[insert_name]

Sounds like the behaviour of your garden variety multi-dater. She is bookmarking you ready for when she feels like picking you up again after speaking to her other options.

 

You either respond in kind or move on. Probably best to move on as it shouldn't be this difficult to keep in touch with someone in the beginning.

[phineas]

Sounds like the behaviour of your garden variety multi-dater. She is bookmarking you ready for when she feels like picking you up again after speaking to her other options.

 

You either respond in kind or move on. Probably best to move on as it shouldn't be this difficult to keep in touch with someone in the beginning.

 

It's called dating.

Going out with different people to see if you find one you like more than the rest.

 

"multi-dating" makes people sound butt-hurt because they can't make someone be in a relationship with them asap.

 

never confront women about stuff like this.

It's a massive turn-off to them.

 

When a woman can't find time to meet you don't give her your time via text, social media or talking on the phone.

She wants your attention?

She needs to make time to meet you out and give you a reason to want to even see her again.

 

op chased & confronted & and continued to give her free attention via the phone when she took her sweet time getting back to him.

 

Right now she can play the field and knows op will still be there waiting for her even when she doesn't contact him for a week.

Edited March 27, 2016 by phineas