Scrab22 Posted March 26, 2016 Posted March 26, 2016 Hi, I'm a 21 YO man whose having a dilemma about which relationship to maintain with women in general. The problem is sexuality, emotions and spirituality. Every person sees a relationship differently. When I think about relationships, the first thing that comes in my mind isn't sex. It's an emotional attachment. I will bring one up as an example. I knew her since high-school. We didn't talk much but we had the occasional small-talks and smiles. I remember her for her carefree gentle happiness, I was really attracted to her back then - her small size and cute face with dazzling big eyes. I attempted getting in touch with her lately and I offered her to sit for coffee since I don't talk much on Facebook. She said she can't since she has a boyfriend. I told her that it's ok, and that I hope we can still keep in touch. After the shocking moment, I didn't feel much sadness and regret at that moment, although I've been having moments of sadness and bitterness since then. I somewhat still have feelings for her. The question that has come up in my mind for so long is - maybe I'm looking for friendship? I just don't think about sexuality when thinking about her as a partner. Just an emotional experience of getting along as companions. It's just that when she said she has a boyfriend, I felt a boundary being placed, and that's why I'm having issues maintaining relationships with women. I'm seeking a loving companionship. It sounds a bit unrealistic, since with time sexuality comes into play, and shifts how each gender sees each other. Sometimes makes me feel left behind. I didn't write every detail to keep the topic as on-point as possible. If you need more pieces of information then tell me. Thanks for the consultation.
Gloria25 Posted March 30, 2016 Posted March 30, 2016 If you're just interested in women for friendship, then there's tons of ways to meet, make, and keep female friendships. Do you feel that you can't measure up to other men when it comes to sex, so like you wanna try the "friendship" angle to win over a woman? I mean, there are women who place little to no value on sex in a relationship and/or marriage. I heard one on the radio the other day. Married over s decade, like three kids and they've only had sex like 6 times and she was as happy as ever. Saw a clip on SNL about two months ago where three guys come in a bar. The taller black and white guy approach the women (including Rhonda Rousey) and are making sexualized hits on them, where the 3rd guy is trying to get them to realize how sensitive he is, they can trust him, he'd make a great friend...in other words you could tell he wasn't "endowed" and probably not that great on bed, so tried to be women's "friend". Look, if sex isn't important to you, again, there's women (especially now a days) who want a "pet", a "friend/roommate" to marry them and give them a kid or two and stop nagging her for sex. If sex is important to you but you have insecurities then dude work with what you got. I literally was listening to the radio the other day with a micropenis guy. He's happily married and him and wifey had no embarrassment in saying how they do "other" things in the bedroom and are satisfied. Besides, if you do it right, oral trumps (hee, heee I said "Trump") getting pounded/jackhammered any day. Then there's so many toys you can bring into the bedroom - even some guys wear strapons.
whichwayisup Posted March 30, 2016 Posted March 30, 2016 I just don't think about sexuality when thinking about her as a partner. Just an emotional experience of getting along as companions. It's just that when she said she has a boyfriend, I felt a boundary being placed, and that's why I'm having issues maintaining relationships with women. I'm seeking a loving companionship. It sounds a bit unrealistic, since with time sexuality comes into play, and shifts how each gender sees each other. Sometimes makes me feel left behind. She was putting a boundary in place, letting you know she's not available and can't invest in a friendship with you, respectfully she probably doesn't want to spend time with another guy when she has a boyfriend. Seems your emotions are at play here rather than sexual ones. You use the word, partners and companion- that's romantic not a platonic friendship.
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