Hatts1 Posted March 26, 2016 Posted March 26, 2016 I split with my GF of a year 1 month ago, it was because of our bad communication, showing affection and children (we both have 2) she ended it but said she wanted some space to see if she really loved me......we met for the first time 4 days ago to see if we had enough to move forward, she was very positive up to the point we kisses and cuddle, we are looking at seeing each other asap, we were going to meet this weekend, she said she couldn't as she was seeing friends, she has sent quite a few very positive texts saying she can see a future but just needs to be sure, well i found out that she wasn't out with friend but at home with another guy, i guess us not being together in that sense she has done nothing wrong but as soon as she started kissing me, cuddles etc and sending me very positive text i feel she is now doing wrong, she doesn't know that i have this information now but has text late last night to say she was having a good night with her friend at her local pub but i know she was at home with this guy, i think she has been seeing/talking to this guy for two weeks as her texts etc changed then, i think she is talking to me telling me all the right stuff to keep me hanging until she has made her mind up about this other guy, why lie to me?...she is now playing with peoples emotions and I'm guessing this other guy has no idea about me and her sorting out times to meet me!...How do i deal with her now, she will phone/text later and i know she will not be telling me the truth!! I really like her and we plit over small issues that can be fixed easily, i think we both feel that
Scarlett.O'hara Posted March 26, 2016 Posted March 26, 2016 The problem is that seeing another guy behind your back is not a small issue to work through, it is a huge issue! True, if your relationship is over she is free to see anyone she likes, but to lie to your face about it, while giving you false hope is so sneaky and disrespectful. Clearly she is playing you both so she has a back up guy. Is this the type of woman you want to share your life with? It may not seem like it, but you dodged a bullet!
whichwayisup Posted March 26, 2016 Posted March 26, 2016 For your kids sake, don't get back with her. She's not being honest with you and she is seeing what life is like with another guy behind your back and keeping the door open a crack so if that doesn't work out she'll want to work things out.
mikeylo Posted March 26, 2016 Posted March 26, 2016 Dump her. Eyeing another person while being with one , is considered cheating by some.
Cherryz Posted March 26, 2016 Posted March 26, 2016 What issues you guys have? For you it may be little but for her huge! You say you have kids. So its not about just what you want. For the kids its not healthy have to go true this kind of stress. She with this guy in the period that you guys took a break? Its not a big deal. Even thou if you really love someone it wont be easy to hookup with someone else quick after breaking up if thats the case here. I thougth you know when you love someone and you dont need to take a break to figure that out. You take break maybe to clear your mind and see where you want to go with the situation or so. From your topic i ddnt get the vibe right away that there is something to get out of this. I only see you wanting and hoping it to work out. I think you guys was inlove just, and now things are different. You cant force someone to be with you or work things out. Be honest with yourself and make the right choice. That is also healthy for your kids. And have this conversation with her and confront her with what you "heard". And see. But first as i said figured it out you first alone and make a choice before you have the talk with her.
CarrieT Posted March 26, 2016 Posted March 26, 2016 Yep - her kissing and cuddling you is to keep you warm; on the back-burner, as it were, while she tries out a new guy to see if he might fit better. You are the safety net for her if the new one doesn't pan out. Best to call it a day and move on. Don't be the back-up plan.
Cherryz Posted March 26, 2016 Posted March 26, 2016 Base and built your relationship on real/reality!!! Not on what you hope or think it could or should be. If you base it on things you dreaming of just, you will be wasting so many times on a person you wish would be your soulmate. And waste time that you could have spent with the soulmate that pass by and see that you are not available.
Author Hatts1 Posted March 26, 2016 Author Posted March 26, 2016 She has said she loves me, issues were communication, both waited for the other to start conversations, affection, more me than her but i was in a love less marriage for years so i was working on that and a couple with the kids, all our kids were great, she brought hers up one way me another, we were working on the middle ground, other guy doesn't really bother me it the point of her not being truthful with me, tells me she is out with friend, where and what fun they had when really she was in doors cooking a meal for another guy, tells me she loves me yet seeing someone else, she has said loads that point towards us making a go of it but now i know there is this other guy involved, I love her dearly, we had a fantastic year on the whole full of love, fun, and laughs, if i may force her hand and say i cant do this waiting any longer so im off, if she does mean all the things she has said she may come back but also it may make her mind up about the other guy so a hard one for me
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