leafguy Posted March 26, 2016 Posted March 26, 2016 (edited) So, my bday came and went last weekend and the first one to text me (albeit early) was my ex saying that she was going away with her best friend and that she didn't want to text me in the wee hours of the morning. Prior to that it had been 4 weeks NC, pretty much at 2 months post BU now. I responded with the typical thx and have a good trip to be nice because in all honesty, I did expect the text. Even her family wished me one via social media. The unexpected part was today when she got back, I got the follow up texts asking how I was doing, how the bday was, etc etc. Ironically, It also so happened to be that I was on a very crappy afternoon date today when I received her first text. I ended up chatting with her for a bit just catching up on the past month's events, her trip, my bday, yadda yadda yadda and talked about upcoming plans for the next week or so. The last time I had said anything of substance was the day I went NC and left the ball in her court. I guess my question is...why send another bread crumb? She has never initiated prior to this post BU. I'm past the worst of it, but it certainly has messed with my head a bit this evening. I did end the conversation off and wished her a good weekend because it had been going on a solid hour or two and didn't want it to drag on too long, which it already had. Edited March 26, 2016 by leafguy 1
Blue08 Posted March 26, 2016 Posted March 26, 2016 She probably misses you a bit, but some people handle it differently. If you don't feel like you should "levee bread crumbs" than don't, it does help to end thing faster, in my opinion. I have messaged my ex on his birthday and we have done the bread crumb thing off and on. I still care about him even though we are not good for each other. So I would feel bad if he had a bad birthday, I don't want horrible things for him. 2
Author leafguy Posted March 26, 2016 Author Posted March 26, 2016 Thanks for your reply Blue. I don't doubt that she misses me because I definitely still have those moments. I would assume she would be the same. Things did end amicably, save for the fact I didn't get much reasoning. That being said, you are right about the last part about wishing them happiness. Maybe she is just doing the same. 2
Blue08 Posted March 26, 2016 Posted March 26, 2016 Your Welcome, Hope your bday was a good one I think so, I called my ex over his bday, and sang him happy bday and talked to him while he had dinner. On christmas, I bought him a present bc I wanted to make sure he had something to open. and I saw him on christmas day, and we actually hugged and kinda cried, we won't ever work out again, but although it has gotten a lot easier the sadness still lingers a little even after 2yrs of being apart. Our conversations have dwindled substantially after that. Nothing wrong with a conversation, unless she is leading you on. Then in that case, do not give her the benefit. 1
Author leafguy Posted March 26, 2016 Author Posted March 26, 2016 Thx bday was good...makes me feel like an old fart leaving the 20s lol. I don't think she is leading me on. Everything personal hasn't been talked about as much as I would at least like to get the full story out of her, but I know we are both OLD again. I do believe she is still unsure of everything going on (new career, very busy, not wanting anything serious yet). I think this is more of a chat to remind that communication is still open if anything. 1
Blue08 Posted March 26, 2016 Posted March 26, 2016 haha, I'm right behind you, I will be leaving my 20's in January I am freaking out, I seriously have no idea how I got here Well I think it was very kind of you to continue the conversation. Hopefully you get the closure you want, but I think that will come either way at some point. How did you feel after the conversation? Sadder, happier, relieved? 1
Author leafguy Posted March 26, 2016 Author Posted March 26, 2016 Haha, time sure does fly. Though mentally I still feel about 6 I really do hope to get some word of mouth closure from her in the next few weeks / months I don't have it in me to be mean. It really takes too much effort. To answer your question, and this answer may change a bit in a few days....I am happy to know the lines of communication seem like they are always open and it still feels natural to talk like we always have. Save for the initial texts post BU, conversation has flowed as natural as when we were together. The only real difference after being "hot" for a few hours, she tends to slow things right now and goes "cold" once the convo has been going for a bit. Did the same last night, so I knew when to cut it off. I am also happy to know she still cares. I'm not sure when we will talk again, but to know she took the time to ask me how things were going the day after she got back from vacation was nice and to carry on a convo felt good. Flip side, does stir up the pain a bit as we were electric when we were together, and I definitely miss her a bit more today than I did yesterday, but that's for another conversation. I think the good far outweighs the bad for me in this case.
Recommended Posts