Not sure what is going on

[Rcc117]

I am currently separated from my soon to be ex wife but we are still living in the same house for financial reasons until she can find a new place to live. Our relationship is purely platonic and we have not had sex in years.

 

During this time, I was dating someone and I fell in love with her. However, she was uncomfortable with the fact that I was not officially divorced and still living in the same house as my soon to be ex wife. To make a long story short, she ended up breaking up with me stating that "she just wanted to be single and not worry about anyone else". Now i know that is code for I don't want to be with you I want to be with someone new and exciting w/o the drama but I was devastated because I truly cared about this girl. She told me that she would never get in another relationship with me unless i moved out and got officially divorced. So i found a place to live and started the divorce documents, but it seemed like it was too little too late, and perhaps my ex girlfriend just wanted to be free. No matter how much I begged, she refused to take me back.

 

Now I realized that begging and pleading just makes things worse so I started NC. After one week of NC, my ex-gf posts a new pic of herself on fb wearing the necklace I gave her. The necklace that she told me she's taking off because we were over, yet she's wearing it clear as day on her profile pic. The next week, she requests to be friends with me on fb. Now I was hesitant to accept because I didn't want to go thru all that pain and suffering that I felt that first week of NC without direct contact from her and knowing where I stood so I didn't accept or deny. 6 Hours after the friend request, she blocked me on FB.

 

What is going on? I know its best for me to move on..but somehow I feel like I never had a chance to have a proper relationship where I was living by myself and divorced..

[Steven1]

I can understand her point of view RE you still living with your wife, although it is perfectly understandable for your situation as well, better really that you are both still living in the same place for financial reasons than one or the other leave and not be able to cope.

 

But Like I said as well, many people would find that a bit uncomfortable as there will always be doubt as to why you are still in the same house, and once being married there will be doubt as to whether or not there is something going on.

 

As for the necklace and friend request, she may obviously like the necklace and just said what she did because of the break up, the friend request may have been a lapse on her side of the same way of thinking as you, she may have wanted NC but gave in for that moment. Better to start fresh and move on I think, it may be best to try and sort something out with your wife/ex wife ASAP as far as the living arrangements go.., don't think you will be able to fully commit or dedicate to another relationship while the situation is ongoing.

[Satu]

What is going on? I know its best for me to move on..*but somehow I feel like I never had a chance to have a proper relationship where I was living by myself and divorced..

 

 

*Thats right, but now you do have that chance, when you're not living with your wife.

 

Tidy up all your loose ends, and get into the present moment.

 

As regards you ex gf:

 

 

*No direct contact.

*No sending or receiving of messages.

*Block any means she might use to contact you.

*No replies to anything that gets through your blocks.

*No indirect contact through third parties.

*De-friend or delete from all social media.

*No monitoring of her on social media.

*No 'little birds' feeding you news.

*Tell people that you don't want to know anything about what she is doing or saying.

 

 

Take care.

Edited March 25, 2016 by Satu

[lychee]

Breadcrumbs.

 

You guys are getting divorced.

 

You're not ready for a friendship IF thats what she wants from you.

 

Allow yourself time.

 

NC.