Do I still have a chance with my Ex Girlfriend.

[Namruts]

Wondering if anyone can help me, I'm still madly in love with this girl, Its sort of long so I appreciate any help, thanks. Sorry if its really Long

 

 

2 Months ago, my ex girlfriend of 2.5 years and I broke up.

(She broke up with me). Met when we were 16. (Now both 19). We were each others first girlfriend/boyfriend so we did everything together and shared every moment, we were deeply in Love. We live about 10 minutes away from each other.

 

I took time to ask myself why she would want to dump me and I think there are 2 reasons I think lead to this break up or at least contributed the most.

 

1) I was so clingy and controlling. I didn't give her enough space to be her own person. I made her the center of my life and put her on a pedestal. When she wanted to do something with her friends or family instead of me I would get a little upset and Jelous and say stupid things like ''You don't want to see me because you don't love me''. I always wanted to see her, even if she had just spent all day at mine and stayed the night the previous day. I'd constantly text her and get annoyed when she didn't reply immediately even though I knew she might be busy at work/College.

 

2) So over a year Ago (About 18 Months), I was at college, doing a course with a class full of Girls... A few of these girls liked me and I wasn't used to so much attention from girls since I had only had 1 girlfriend my entire life. I allowed these girls to get close to me and my Girlfriend hated it, she told me that they were trying to steal me from her, and she was scared of losing me to them. I should have listened to her, I should have told these girls to back off! but I didn't . As a result of this, we went on a break because she was hurt and upset. The break felt like a break up, I was so upset I didn't know what to do or who to turn to, So I ended up meeting with college girl, we ended up kissing but that was it. About 2 weeks after our 'Break' we were back together, she fell back in Love with me and everything seemed back to normal. But I had to tell her I kissed college girl during the break. She forgave me for it and we carried on and were happy together again. Well, the college girl sent me a nude on Snapchat while I was asleep, and my girlfriend opened it on and started crying. I told her that I loved her and only wanted her. I deleted the college girl from my phone infront of her and she forgave me again.

 

 

The Break up wasn't messy, we met up and she said it was because she didn't feel the same way about me, and hadn't felt the same for a while. She said that the college incident still played in her mind sometimes, but that was over a year ago. I did ask her if we could start again, to give me another chance, and that she could trust me because I loved her with all my heart and would never want to hurt her again, but she wasn't interested. The weird thing was, she said things like ''You're a really good boyfriend, Most boys are dicks, ill probably never find one as good as you'' and ''Who knows what will happen in the future, maybe we will end up together again like my parents did''. I was a good boyfriend too, I brought her things, always happy to see her, made her laugh, never hit or abused her. Since then. I've apologized a million times over text and she accepts it.

 

I went No contact for about 2 weeks until she started tagging me on Facebook posts. She then texted me saying ''I hate not being able to talk to you. I know we aren't together but it hurts. I don't want you out of my life forever'' So we started texted for a few days. Then she said ''I don't think we should text so much, I don't want you to feel like you're winning me back''. I was so confused so I went to see her to try and get answers. I asked her again if we could start again and she said no so I left it at that (2 weeks after break up)

 

ANYWAY. About 3 weeks ago, I went to a Bar/Club with some people I work with. One of the girls I work with decided she wanted to dance with me. I took some selfies with everyone, including the girl, it was on my Snapchat/Facebook. My ex Decided to Delete me on All Social media, but she didn't delete or Block my Number. When I asked her why, she said ''I saw your pictures with your new girlfriend (She's not my new girlfriend) and It made me sick, It hurt a lot, and I hated you and never wanted to see you again, i can't be seeing stuff like that''. I said ''You dumped me, i didn't think you would care that I was trying to have fun and move on'' and she said ''Trust me I still care a lot, I don't understand my own feelings since you were my first Love''... Does this mean she still has feelings for me??

 

A few days later, a friend pointed out to me that she took to twitter to Repost some Relationship stuff (Perhaps indirectly). I'm blocked on her Twitter so I wouldn't be able to see them, but a friend showed me the type of things she was retweeting.

 

*Id Love to Receive this text* ''

I'm sorry I took you for granted, but you're the love of my life and I Can't live without you''

 

''Just because she gives up doesn't mean she doesn't love you. It just means she is tired of getting hurt and being taken for granted''

 

''A good girl will fight hard for a man she believes in, but will dump you if you take her trust and loyalty for granted''

 

So Her birthday is Next week, and She has invited me to her Birthday Party in 2 weeks time. There will be 6 of us going out. The other 4 are in relationships. I'm planning to have flowers delivered on her actual birthday with chocolates and a note. But I'm wondering if I have any chance making something happen with my Ex. I really want her back. We still text like every other day, just talk normally like how our day went, what we been doing and stuff.

[preraph]

I can't read the girl's mind, but she still has feelings for you, or at least feelings for the guy she wishes you were. That's kind of what it sounds like. But whatever happened, she wasn't happy about that. Now, whether that was reasonable, I don't know.

 

Here's what I do know. You two are still very young. A lot changes as each year goes by from now until you're about 30. You both have a lot of maturation to do. I wouldn't even advise someone your age to commit to a permanent future, but I would advise you to date one girl at a time just to make things less complicated. Then break up before moving on to someone else, because it's the nice thing to do.

 

As long as either of you prefers to be free to meet and hang out with members of the opposite sex, which at your age is more normal than not, then don't tie yourselves down.

 

If it's really hard to stay together, well, it love shouldn't be that hard and maybe it is time to just move on. She seems to know that's what she needs to do.

 

But she invited you to the party, so if you want to make one more attempt to be with her, do your grand gesture and tell her you miss her and ask her if you can have another chance. And then don't repeat behavior that made her flee to begin with. Good luck.

[PaperCrane]

There's always a chance.

 

The question, is if you take that chance will the desired result really give you happiness, or will it only bring more of the same?

[mikeylo]

Her main issue is you going around with other girls. Very viable reason to dump you. If you want her, then all you have to do is give up all the girls around you and be committed and devoted to her. Can you do that ? If not , stay broken else do what needs to be done.

She gave you a chance but you took her for granted. You brought it on yourself.

 

Flip it around. Would you be 100% in with her if she was going around exactly like you , with other guys?

 

Treat her the way you want to be treated or find someone who does the same as you.Maybe an open relationship is the thing for you.

[smackie9]

The only way this is going to work is that you change your behavior. getting close to other girls like that was why she dumped you. She saw it as you slipping away and that your relationship was losing it's value/meaning to you. You need to start acting like you are someones BF, not a single guy getting an ego boost from the attention of other girls.

 

She is right, you did take advantage, and how could she ever trust you. Her dumping you was a test of your love, and she got her answer with you taking selfies with this other girl instead of fighting for her. Not the best way to get your point across but she's young and still learning.

 

So now you have it, she wants you to step up and profess your undying love to her, and apologize for your behavior, and prove deep down she is your one true love....now go get'er.