First date with this girl, let's discuss

[itstoni]

First, I would like to state that I am not looking for any advice on how to proceed with this date, if you feel like dropping advice then go for it.

 

What I am looking for is just opinions and thoughts to see a clearer picture of this date. Especially feedback from a woman's POV, just this once.

 

The back story - On Tuesday during work, a girl from out of town came in and ordered some food. One thing that caught my attention was her pink hair. So I decided to ask her about it. She seemed nervous, I could see her interest growing more by the second. About half an hour after she left she called the the businesses asking to speak with me. She ended up saying that I "seemed nice" and if I wanted to hang out. This caught me by surprise. Never have I had a girl verbally ask me out first. To which I said yes. I texted her and set up a date

 

Today. I plan to pick her up at her place around 1. Bringing her back into town, and having an action date right off the bat. Tennis to begin with. Haven't decided what to do next, maybe disc gold, who knows. I'll be prepare by then. I tend to keep the date short, 1 hour, to 2 hours tops for obvious reasons. After that, take her straight back home, and follow up the beginning of next week.

 

What I'm looking for - Seeing as she has high interest in me to begin with, will she be wanting me to seal the deal that same day? Bring her back to my place, and escalate ? I am planning on not doing this until the second time around.

-What is it she is wanting out of this? Simply getting to know me? I doubt that this is all she wants.

-Should I do things differently? I'll consider

-Is she at least expecting a kiss or heavy kino? My gut tells me yes to both, why else would she call quick to hang out.

-What are some must do in first dates with a high interest girl?

[LydiaLong]

My goodness, you are an eager beaver. She called because you interested her. I think a short first date is a good idea. Sometimes the best thing is NOT to try to get physical too early. You'll have more information after that first date. Keep us informed.

[itstoni]

Don't mistake this with eagerness, I have patients to wait as long as it needs to take. The whole her asking to hang out is what got off guard. I won't get physical in an obvious way, it'll all be subtle.

[smackie9]

I have a question....so what is your opinion about a girl asking you out? Is it a positive thing? Do you think any less of her integrity? Would you like to see more women do this? or would you feel emasculated because a woman has stepped into a typical male role?

[mrldii]

...Especially feedback from a woman's POV, just this once...

 

 

As a woman, I was gonna help you out until I got to this part.

 

 

Since, as a male, you've never needed a woman's input on any matter - nor ever will again - I'm confident you'll figure out this "I've never had a woman actually be interested in me before and am not sure what to do" dilemma.

 

 

Good luck!!!

[itstoni]

@mrldii

 

Thanks! I understand

If you read the intro you would noticed that I don't need help.

I'm also confident enough I will figure it out on my own. After all, she's only human, just like me, nothing special.

 

I have a question....so what is your opinion about a girl asking you out? Is it a positive thing? Do you think any less of her integrity? Would you like to see more women do this? or would you feel emasculated because a woman has stepped into a typical male role

 

It all depends on the guy, some hate it, some like it.

In my own opinion, I like it. It's positive.

She saw something she liked and went after it. It's what I would of done.

She isn't going to play games now. Which is what every guys wants. No games.

I can go about this date knowing that she is already interested in me, now all I have to do is figure out if I should be interested in her. Figure out what she's willing to offer.

I would like to see more women do this. All guys would want this ( with the exception of a few that wont) because of many reason. 1) takes off the pressure of approaching the woman. 2) It's nice knowing someone wants to spend time with you. 3) shows high interest and we won't worry about games.

Edited March 25, 2016 by itstoni

[smackie9]

You obviously showed enough confidence to have a conversation that mean something to her.....confidence wins the girl. You made a good impression on her so much so she didn't want to lose out on an opportunity. I hope it works out for you.

[itstoni]

@smackie9, I appreciate the sincere support and thank you.

 

Regardless, here's a field report.

 

Picked her up at 1 sharp (30mi). She greeted me with a hug, great start. Oh look, no makeup, +1(imo).We left right away. She geared right into talk mode. Made things easier. I planned on an action date as usual. I went with tennis today. Here she mentioned that she didn't know what to wear,(I decided to keep the date a mystery to see how it worked out, and because I wasn't sure what the weather would be like) and that she enjoyed the mystery of not knowing what was going to go down(sweet). Played a little pass and forth just until it started going sour. Then switched it to disc golf, and she loved it, since it was a surpised.Here I decided to get to know a little bit more about her and to build sexual tension, and use subtle kino. Before we even began, she immediately used kino, and continued to use more throughout the game. I went along with it without 'playing hard to get' since her interest was already high. By the time the game was over (9th basket) I knew most about her than what most of her closer friends knows I would assume. She talked non-stop, not complaining, made things go so smoothly. I kept many questions to myself for another day. Slow and steady. Decided that was enough for today (at that moment). Before we arrived at her house, got a sweettooth craving. Usually I don't do dinner or ice cream on first date. Broke that rule this time. Went to a mexican dessert lounge. She insisted on paying, I said no, and wouldn't take no for an answer. She paid for both of ours. +1. She said it was her way of repaying back for a fun time and the driving. Took her home, and she tried streching the date longer by showing me music. I said Inwoukd listen to them earlier that day so I stayed a few minutes. She then said something along the lines."...I don't know what plans you have or anything but I don't have anything going on right, just saying if you don't want to just sit here awkwardly in the car"(it wasn't awkward). I tranlated this into "Want to come inside?". I agreed but told her only for 30min. Met 2 roomates. Chatted in the living room. At this point, it was obvious she was waiting for me to make some move, she was facing me and her grabbing onto my arms. I decided not to. I'll wait till second time around. Time to leave came and told her I had to go, she walked me outside. I wasn't planning on kiss closing either. Really wanted to build sexual tension. Next thing I know when I said bye she leaned and and gave me a kiss. +1(in a way, not sure about this one yet).

I went with it, but kept it short and brief, yet soft and sexually. Then went our seprate ways.

 

Looking back, I should of probably stucl by more rules, and should of kept the date shorter, since it extended more than inteded. Nothing can be done now, it happened, and I believe that it wont effect any chances. We'll see.

I'll reach out to her next week. Although she already sent me the "had a good time" text a few minute ago.

Mystery tension really works wonders.

[joseb]

It's kind if cool the whike mystery date thing, but I don't get how you can just expect someone to be ready for tennis without telling them?! They don't normally let you onto a court in street shoes, etc...

[Erik30]

I could be wrong but it seems to me that she wanted to have sex with you at the end of the date.

 

"...I don't know what plans you have or anything but I don't have anything going on right, just saying if you don't want to just sit here awkwardly in the car"

 

But then you told her you could only stay for 30 minutes and didn't make a move at all... and why would you plan on not kissing her if everything feels right?

I hope you'll get a second date, but this might be a girl who's just looking to have some fun.

[itstoni]

@joseb

 

She asked what she should wear ahead of time, I told her to wear something comfy and warm that she can have fun in. She knew what to wear after that.

And we also live in a small town, no one is ever watching the courts.

 

@Erik30

 

I agree with you all the way, I saw the obvious signs. I believe she is looking for someone to mess around with as well.

 

I decided not to try any moves on her so she could want more. I did the kino, I give her all the iois she needed to know I'm into her. She is already waiting for me to make a second date, so I'm not worried.

 

I also don't care if there's a second date or not

[NYC-BigKat]

@mrldii

 

Thanks! I understand

If you read the intro you would noticed that I don't need help.

I'm also confident enough I will figure it out on my own. After all, she's only human, just like me, nothing special.

 

 

 

It all depends on the guy, some hate it, some like it.

In my own opinion, I like it. It's positive.

She saw something she liked and went after it. It's what I would of done.

She isn't going to play games now. Which is what every guys wants. No games.

I can go about this date knowing that she is already interested in me, now all I have to do is figure out if I should be interested in her. Figure out what she's willing to offer.

I would like to see more women do this. All guys would want this ( with the exception of a few that wont) because of many reason. 1) takes off the pressure of approaching the woman. 2) It's nice knowing someone wants to spend time with you. 3) shows high interest and we won't worry about games.

 

I really really like this . I don't mind girls showing interest & making it easy for me to ask them out since I'm so used to doing the asking out part a lot. I just need signals so I can do it & no guessing stuff. I think most guys do like that more. Girls don't have to ask us out u know, just make it easier for us.

[itstoni]

@BigKat

 

Agreed, it makes everything smoother.

Although I figured out that the woman usually makes the first move, but it's subtle. Women send many signals, for example, ever notice when a girl notices you and she fixes her hair ? signal. If her proximity is 'off', signal. Eye contact/pupils dialated, signal. If she seems more animated when you pop in, signal.

Very subtle indeed