Little feather Posted March 25, 2016 Posted March 25, 2016 HI, I am new to Loveshack and I was hoping to get some insight on my situation. First let me give you some background information: I have been divorced for a little less than two years and I have two small children that mean the world to me. Because of this, I have put all my energy into my children and career, did some healing and have not dated since my divorce. Despite my family and friends encouraging me to date I just had not been motivated to do so. Until about 3 months ago when I met a man who caught my attention and motivated me to give dating a chance. I met him at a park, he was there with his daughter. Our daughters were playing together at the park and he asked me for my number so we could get the girls together sometime. After that he scheduled another play date with me and the kids at the park. Then he asked me out to dinner which is when I realized he actually was interested in me and not just getting our kids together. I was very nervous during our dinner date because he was rubbing my back and kissing my hand and making passes to kiss me which all of this was a little fast to me. I had not been with anyone like this in awhile. However, my friends and family said that I was being prude and that for my age this was expected. (I am highly conservative most of the time). In saying that we went out on a few short dates. I ended up sleeping with him in the heat of the moment. And honestly part of me wanted to because I had not felt this way in so long about someone but I also wanted him to respect me as well. I got scared after sleeping with him and broke things off with him but then we talked about my concerns and started dating again. Our dates were limited because of my lack of time. about a month into seeing him about 2 days a week and talking on the phone regularly we were both getting frustrated about our lack of being able to spend time together. We also had our kids on opposite weekends. I suggested that we do something with the kids and he did not want to do that in case things did not work out. He said we had not been dating for that long and getting the kids involved was not a good idea. This did not make much since to me and I was not sure if he just was not into me so I broke things off with him again for a short time (about a week) and he text me and said he was still thinking about me and we started seeing each other again. Then about a month later I asked him where things were going. I asked him if we were in a relationship and he said that he could not be in a relationship because he does not feel stable in his job (He is looking for a job) and that he just doesn't know where things are going. This made me feel uncomfortable so I told him lets just be friends then. He said that that is very sad. To present we are so called friends but he tells me he does not want to just be friends that he thinks that there are a lot of great things about me and that he feels like I watch over him and make him feel good about himself but yet he wont commit to a relationship with me. He says he is not dating anyone else or talking to any other women. Oh and also I must throw in that we don't share the same religion which he says he thinks will be challenging ( I am christian and he is Jewish). He said all this being said that does not mean that he does not miss me or long for me or think about me a lot. He says that my personality is perfect for him and I have to assume he finds me attractive because he cannot keep his hands off me. I have told him that I want to just be friends because I don't want a friends with benefits relationship which is what it feels like to me. I just want to make sure that I am not missing something here. Am I expecting to much am I going about this dating thing all wrong? Is he really just not that into me? I just want a respectful relationship with this man but is that even possible at this point? Thanks for your response
TXGuy Posted March 25, 2016 Posted March 25, 2016 You have broken up with this guy 3 times in a short period. I don't think this will work out for either of you. Sometimes it is not meant to be.
Author Little feather Posted March 25, 2016 Author Posted March 25, 2016 TXGUY That is true, I see that now but is that fixable?
TXGuy Posted March 25, 2016 Posted March 25, 2016 (edited) TXGUY That is true, I see that now but is that fixable? Well, if you really like him and want to have a relationship, you have to stop breaking up with him for ... whatever reasons you are doing it. He keeps coming back, so he has to be into you. Before breaking up with him next time, maybe talk to him about whatever you are upset about. It sounds like this guy will do almost anything you ask of him. Your visitation schedules do add a bit of a complication. Is there a possibility you could have platonic time with the kids and fun time when the kids are not around? Edited March 25, 2016 by TXGuy
Author Little feather Posted March 25, 2016 Author Posted March 25, 2016 TXGUY, Thanks for your reply TXGUY. This is something that I need to work on.
Recommended Posts