FrenchAGD82 Posted March 25, 2016 Posted March 25, 2016 This past December, I went on a date with a guy from home when I was home for the holidays. Had a lot of fun, kissed me at the end of the night and when I got back to my town, told me he hopes to see each other again whenever I visit again. Felt really good to be doted on, treated well, and felt pretty. Well, here we are almost 4 months later...won't respond to my social media messages(or if he does, it's days or a week later), no interactions online and when I can back into town a few weeks ago for a wedding, blew me off after telling me to check in to catch up. He did apologize for not meeting up the night before I left. I don't text him because of the lack of communication from him online. It's all very weird now versus last fall when he would engage online, messaging and liking posts since I'm no longer in the same city. This is making me feel I have done something. I feel humiliated to think something long distance could have worked, annoyed that he didn't want to at least hang for a quick beer and generally upset and sad. I'm in my early thirties and *finally* thought something was going to be real. Thoughts? Advice? I'm ready to shake it all off and move on while being friendly to him online/in person. 2
clia Posted March 25, 2016 Posted March 25, 2016 Move on. Unfriend him from all social media. He's not interested. If he ever contacts you again, ignore. 7
d0nnivain Posted March 25, 2016 Posted March 25, 2016 Thoughts? Advice? I'm ready to shake it all off and move on while being friendly to him online/in person. Exactly. There is no need to be impolite to him but he's not interested. Leave him be. 3
Erik30 Posted March 25, 2016 Posted March 25, 2016 You haven't done anything wrong, he's just not interested. Maybe he met someone after you left, or doesn't want a ldr. The reason doesn't really matter. But that date you had back in December probably didn't mean that much to him. If he was into you, he wouldn't act this way. Forget about him. 3
Author FrenchAGD82 Posted March 25, 2016 Author Posted March 25, 2016 Thanks y'all. It's just a super weird 180 from him messaging me last summer/fall with compliments, flirting, being engaging up until our date and then treating me well on said date, afterwards told me he hopes to stay in touch and then, totally goes silent sans a few tweets/likes here and there. I'm baffled. 1
basil67 Posted March 25, 2016 Posted March 25, 2016 You say that something long distance could have worked. But would he agree? Perhaps he simply viewed it as a holiday romance. 1
Satu Posted March 25, 2016 Posted March 25, 2016 Thanks y'all. It's just a super weird 180 from him messaging me last summer/fall with compliments, flirting, being engaging up until our date and then treating me well on said date, afterwards told me he hopes to stay in touch and then, totally goes silent sans a few tweets/likes here and there. I'm baffled. Just accept it. Turn your attention to yourself and the people who are actually present in your life. Thats where the sweetness is. 6
Author FrenchAGD82 Posted March 25, 2016 Author Posted March 25, 2016 I guess one night on the town would be what he had in mind. It's just been hard knowing the dating scene where I live is slim and he is back in my hometown where there was "something." But, yes, I'm accepting it as the days goes on and slowly pulling myself away from his social media connections. 1
kendahke Posted March 25, 2016 Posted March 25, 2016 Sounds to me as if a girlfriend is orbiting--someone who was probably out of town during the time you were in town, which was why he was so available then, but once you left and life went back to normal, he vanished from your sphere. 3
Shanex Posted March 26, 2016 Posted March 26, 2016 After your replies it seems he is more into occasional flings with you and don't want a LDR... if his only goal is to hookup while he's in your town and that's not what you expect or want from him, let it go. It's also rude not to respond to pm on social media since you guys met already. 2
Author FrenchAGD82 Posted March 26, 2016 Author Posted March 26, 2016 I've been seeing if he mentions girlfriends or what not in his social media postings and doesn't look like it, but, it may very well be he's not looking for anything serious. The more I read these responses, I'm getting clarity! Funny how that works...and how social media becomes the devil himself in all of this. So annoyed in how I've reacted to it all with him! 1
Standard-Fare Posted March 26, 2016 Posted March 26, 2016 I'm guessing this was initially arranged online? (Based on the fact that you were exchanging messages and stuff before meeting up.) If so, what happened was a pretty standard online dating experience - too much buildup beforehand, the date itself might have been pleasant, but ultimately not enough interest (from his end) to keep things going. At the end of the day - this was just one date, and it happened four months ago. It's not healthy for you to dwell on this, or to keep trying to communicate with him. The fact that he blew you off the last time you were in his town should tell you everything. Focus your energies elsewhere and don't waste any more time on him. 2
Author FrenchAGD82 Posted March 26, 2016 Author Posted March 26, 2016 I've known him since we were kids-same schools, his mother was a highschool teacher of mine, same church, similar interests. Not sure if that makes it harder since our paths could cross in the future. We hadn't talked much in the last five years and I posted a pic of myself which he "liked" on Twitter..,and that started the back and forth reconnection. I agree that this isn't healthy and I have spent WAY too much time thinking about this situation. 1
Author FrenchAGD82 Posted April 19, 2016 Author Posted April 19, 2016 It's been a month or so now, and he has completely ignored me on social media. I'm very much over him, but, I find this now to be totally rude without any reason. I've sent him remarks, comments, tweets and all that, but, zero replies. I wouldn't mind a cordial friendship, but, now, it's getting to be ******* level.
Cinnamonstix Posted April 19, 2016 Posted April 19, 2016 If you're still thinking about him and trying to get his attention nearly 5 months after your one date, you're clearly not over him or what happened between you two (or lack thereof). In his eyes, you look like someone with no options who is obsessed with him. Stop trying to engage him and move on. And delete him so you won't be tempted to like/tweet/comment/message. Trust me, hitting delete will feel great! 3
Zahara Posted April 19, 2016 Posted April 19, 2016 It's been a month or so now, and he has completely ignored me on social media. I'm very much over him, but, I find this now to be totally rude without any reason. I've sent him remarks, comments, tweets and all that, but, zero replies. I wouldn't mind a cordial friendship, but, now, it's getting to be ******* level. You're not over him because if you were you wouldn't be still trying to bait him for a reaction a date and 5 months later. And he knows this. You're coming off obsessive. There are people that aren't going to like/interest in you -- it's life. He's trying to send you a message via his silence but you aren't getting it. Remove him from social media and save yourself the insanity. 1
Author FrenchAGD82 Posted April 19, 2016 Author Posted April 19, 2016 Completely correct! it just sucks and is a bit of a mystery.
hippychick3 Posted April 19, 2016 Posted April 19, 2016 It shouldn't be a mystery. You should have moved on the moment you got home and he didn't respond to your communication attempt. You should have made only ONE attempt. And, when he didn't respond, you should have written him off and dated others. This is not normal to be chasing after him and obsessing over him after all this time. Don't send him remarks or likes or comments or smoke signals or pigeongrams. Block him and move on! 1
Author FrenchAGD82 Posted April 19, 2016 Author Posted April 19, 2016 No longer following him on any social media channel-I'm done. 2
Cinnamonstix Posted April 19, 2016 Posted April 19, 2016 No longer following him on any social media channel-I'm done. You go, girl. 1
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