She left me for someone else after 2.5 years 😔

[Young heart]

Hey guys,

 

I'm 23 and my ex is 21. We had been together for 2.5 years. We were very close and she always told me I was the first person she had real feelings for. She moved in with me and we seemed to have our own world together. She was very loyal and honest to me and I fell very deeply for this girl.

 

Things changed during the last 6 months of the relationship. She started hanging out with new friends (female) from work. These girls I have never trusted. They sleep around and are just immature. I began to see a different side to my girlfriend during this time. She started going out more and with this came a lot of attention to her from other guys. She started being secretive and texting numerous guys, I'd always find out because she wasn't very good at hiding it. It got to the point where she started lying about where she is ect. As you can imagine this played massively on my insecurities and I began to be very paranoid whenever she was out.

 

I walked in on her and another guy back in October where she then cried in my car to me for 2 hours about how much she loved me ect and admitted she made a mistake. Anyway things got a tad better after that. We started building on ourselves again but something just didn't feel right. It just didn't feel like how she used to be, I was her everything but now it seems her pals mattered more. On Christmas Eve (unknown to me) her work friend introduced her to a friend.

My girlfriend was texting this guy all Christmas, I stupidly believed her when she told me she's speaking to her father. The day after Boxing Day I had a very very bad gut feeling about something but wasn't sure what. So I was very off with her this day. This caused an argument and she decided to stay at her place that night.

I couldn't contact her from 8 at night til 9 in the morning. She then text me first thing saying "she wants to be on her own". I begged and pleaded her to think about this but there was no budging. It seemed like she didn't care at all. She didn't seem upset.

 

I found out s few days later she has seen this guy then dumped me the day after. It is now 3 months on and we haven't spoke for 2 months. Just like that. She's gone and off the face of the earth. I'm struggling to cope with it. .

 

I invested my whole heart into this girl but it seems she detached herself a while ago . I know nobody will be as good for her as I was. Even some of her pals have said that she had it so well with me ect. . Will she regret it?

[organizedchaos]

Hey guys,

 

I'm 23 and my ex is 21. We had been together for 2.5 years. We were very close and she always told me I was the first person she had real feelings for. She moved in with me and we seemed to have our own world together. She was very loyal and honest to me and I fell very deeply for this girl.

 

Things changed during the last 6 months of the relationship. She started hanging out with new friends (female) from work. These girls I have never trusted. They sleep around and are just immature. I began to see a different side to my girlfriend during this time. She started going out more and with this came a lot of attention to her from other guys. She started being secretive and texting numerous guys, I'd always find out because she wasn't very good at hiding it. It got to the point where she started lying about where she is ect. As you can imagine this played massively on my insecurities and I began to be very paranoid whenever she was out.

 

I walked in on her and another guy back in October where she then cried in my car to me for 2 hours about how much she loved me ect and admitted she made a mistake. Anyway things got a tad better after that. We started building on ourselves again but something just didn't feel right. It just didn't feel like how she used to be, I was her everything but now it seems her pals mattered more. On Christmas Eve (unknown to me) her work friend introduced her to a friend.

My girlfriend was texting this guy all Christmas, I stupidly believed her when she told me she's speaking to her father. The day after Boxing Day I had a very very bad gut feeling about something but wasn't sure what. So I was very off with her this day. This caused an argument and she decided to stay at her place that night.

I couldn't contact her from 8 at night til 9 in the morning. She then text me first thing saying "she wants to be on her own". I begged and pleaded her to think about this but there was no budging. It seemed like she didn't care at all. She didn't seem upset.

 

I found out s few days later she has seen this guy then dumped me the day after. It is now 3 months on and we haven't spoke for 2 months. Just like that. She's gone and off the face of the earth. I'm struggling to cope with it. .

 

I invested my whole heart into this girl but it seems she detached herself a while ago . I know nobody will be as good for her as I was. Even some of her pals have said that she had it so well with me ect. . Will she regret it?

 

Maybe, maybe not. Either way, she may never come back. She's young. Of course you're the first guy she had real feelings for. You met when she was 18 1/2! What do you expect? And did you think at 20 1/2 when you met, and her being 18 1/2, that this was it for you and her? She wants to experiment, she said so, she's shown you so; and so should you at this age. Move on.

[Satu]

Nobody can be anyone's everything.

 

You should realise that this isn't something she 'did to you,' to hurt you.

 

She did it for herself, because it felt right; it felt like the best option.

 

Everyone has the right to make their own decisions about which direction they want their life to go in.

 

She made her decision.

 

 

What matters now is you making a recovery from this loss.

 

What she does doesn't matter.

 

What matters is what you do.

 

Take a good look at your life, and make it the best life that it can be.

 

Adapt and restructure.

 

 

Take care.

[Marco Valerio]

I do not agree with the responses above. No doubt she is free to do whatever she wants with her life, so do you. It's her choice to be or not to be with you. But there was no need to be unfaithful or become a liar. That is not acceptable.

If someone wants to move on from a relationship they are in, they can do it without hurting the other person.

Being that selfish person who's involved with two people at a time as a transition from one to the other is unacceptable.

I do not understand why some people excuse that kind of behavior.

 

She is free to go, and do what she pleases. You are free to choose a better person.

[ShootingStarlet]

Honestly...from a girl's perspective here, and this might be harsh and really hard to handle right now, the fact that you took her back after walking in on her and only after her crying for just 2 hours , I say she lost respect for you at that moment. The best thing you could have done then would have been to break up with her and then kept the break up until she earned back your trust over a long enough period, then she would treasure the relationship more. You showed her that the relationship isn't that worth treasuring as it was easy for you to let her back after breaching your trust on the worst level. I would send her an email maybe telling her that you regret taking her back that time and you've learned that that was a mistake and usually you would have walked away and then tell her that you do not want to hear from her again and you wish her well (in a cold but not angry manner) Trust me, she will respect you again and then in the future look back and feel remorseful about what she did and who knows, maybe reach out to you. But it will restore your dignity to not contact her again and your respect in her eyes.

[Young heart]

Thanks for the responses guys. Means a lot that you took your time to read and advise me . I did text her after I found out the truth saying that "I can't believe you of all people have done this to me. I should never have taken you back when I caught you with the other guy". It was along those lines. She then text me back saying I'm a c*nt and to never contact her again. This was January. Heard nothing since.

 

It's so hard to take that I may never hear from her again. She was so perfect before she changed. I wish that person I fell for was still there . I really fell deeply for her

[Young heart]

Hey guys I posted a previous thread a few days ago. Basically my ex was 21 and I'm 23. We had been together for 2.5 years. We were a very close couple, stayed with each other all night ect. Seemed to have a special bond.

 

Anyways the past 6 months of the relationship she began to change. She started going out drinking more ect and she began lying to me and eventually left me for somebody else (she only knew him for 2 days. Fancy that?). This of course left me devastated that this once shy bubbly girl had become a liar and a down right heart breaker.

 

It's been 4 months since the break up and 3.5 months of no contact. I've heard through her friend that the new guy is very controlling and is already leaving my ex in tears with this. He made her change her phone number and delete my number also so I have no way of contacting her now. This made me upset that someone else is upsetting her. It shouldn't bother me after all she left me for him! The grass ain't greener as it seems but they still remain together for now.

I can't stop missing her still after everything she's put me through. It's so hard when someone was with you everyday. Being the reason you smile and laugh to suddenly being erased from your life . Opinions guys?

[Marco Valerio]

Hey guys I posted a previous thread a few days ago. Basically my ex was 21 and I'm 23. We had been together for 2.5 years. We were a very close couple, stayed with each other all night ect. Seemed to have a special bond.

 

Anyways the past 6 months of the relationship she began to change. She started going out drinking more ect and she began lying to me and eventually left me for somebody else (she only knew him for 2 days. Fancy that?). This of course left me devastated that this once shy bubbly girl had become a liar and a down right heart breaker.

 

It's been 4 months since the break up and 3.5 months of no contact. I've heard through her friend that the new guy is very controlling and is already leaving my ex in tears with this. He made her change her phone number and delete my number also so I have no way of contacting her now. This made me upset that someone else is upsetting her. It shouldn't bother me after all she left me for him! The grass ain't greener as it seems but they still remain together for now.

I can't stop missing her still after everything she's put me through. It's so hard when someone was with you everyday. Being the reason you smile and laugh to suddenly being erased from your life . Opinions guys?

 

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