Unsur Posted March 24, 2016 Posted March 24, 2016 So it's been about a month and a half since the breakup of my 9 year relationship. At first I felt like I was never going to get over it, that I'd be depressed and in love forever but for the past couple of weeks I've felt much better. I feel as though I'm pretty much over him, that I've accepted the breakup and that I don't want to get back together. I met up with his mum yesterday (to get my things back) and she told me some things that he has been up to and it made me so happy because they were such turn offs! I feel so sure that this is the right thing for me but the only problem is I'm worried that I'm repressing my feelings. If I think of him going out with another woman THATs when I get panicky/feel sick and it seems so strange that I'd be so ok after only a month?? He was my only boyfriend, we met at 15 and I'm over it in a month? That doesn't sound like me. Sometimes I daydream about him coming back and begging me for another chance (which I refuse) so I dunno. I'm wondering if I'm in denial and how I can stop that if I am? Buuut I probably shouldn't be questioning feeling good about the breakup should I? Enjoy it whilst it lasts? I know I probably sound stupid!
kat2008 Posted March 25, 2016 Posted March 25, 2016 Hi Unsur This sounds so like me!! For last couple of weeks, the feelings of loss have lessened and lessened. I still see him (we have to share the house at weekends) but I make sure I stay out of the way as much as possible. We are polite, but I don't initiate conversations with him. During the week, I rarely think about him, we have little or no contact. The emotions have calmed way down, I am looking forward to and trying to put things in place for my future without him. I don't even seem to think about what we had together. I just think of what I am going to do now I have my independence back. I know I am not entirely over him, he left me for someone else and the times I wobble are when a thought of him and her flit through my mind. I don't allow myself to dwell on it - like everyone on here says, what is the point, it's over! However I too, like you, am wondering how the hell I got this far in so short a time! He was not my first break-up, I have been through this before, but we had been together 11 years and I thought we would be together forever. This house was going to be our forever home. So, for me I think it is self preservation kicking in - I have no choice but to start making plans for a future without him. I think this is what is focusing my mind and like you I do wonder if I am repressing things or in denial (I have had plenty of weeks to go through this, we broke up in January, I thought we could reconcile but by end of February he had chosen not too) so I went through the break-up again in a mini episode before I started to clear my head a little. I know for me, things between us had not been good for many months, and although I did try to get him to open up to me, I wonder if I was subconsciously preparing? I haven't really answered your questions lol - I just added mine to them! But at least you know you are not alone feeling like this! xx PS I refuse to believe I am stupid!! 2
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