JasonSturgis Posted March 24, 2016 Posted March 24, 2016 Hello. I'm sorry for the book here. Please skip to the end for a brief summary if you don't want to read. First off, a little about me and her. I'm 24, she's 18 and just about to graduate school. I met her back in the beginning of August of 2015. I was her trainer at a fast food place. When I first saw her, there was instant attraction on both sides. Something that has never happened to either of us. We quickly became friends, talking about music, movies, TV shows, family, but the attraction was still there. I learned that we were a lot alike, both in how we were raised and the things we liked. I decided to take the plunge and ask her out in December of that year. It's been 4 months now. Her parents won't let her leave much because they want her to graduate, and I understand that. I want her to graduate also. So, 4 months of just seeing her at work and talking over Facebook, and me going up to where I work on my off days to see her. It sounds unfair, but so far, it's working perfectly, we're both happy, she's planning on moving in with a friend soon. I applied for this new job before I met her. Hard, fast paced, exhausting factory work.They finally called me to an interview where I was hired on the spot and offered $16 an hour, $7 more than what I make at the fast food place. They explained to me that I could be working seven or more days in a row. I started feeling really depressed a week after the interview, a huge weight was pulling me down. After realizing that I didn't really want the job, I revoked my two weeks notice and put in a leave of absence. The weight was lifted and I was back to my old self. She found out and told me she'd be really upset with me if I quit the new job. I make plenty to live on at the old job, plus I get to see her. The new job will make it harder to see her, at least for the next few months. She wants a better life for me, but all we can think about us not being able to see each other, that brings us both down. I told her I could find something else in the summer when she's finally out of school, she didn't like that. For the first time in my life, I truly love someone, and it's truly reciprocated. I'm happy in my relationship, and the job, despite the circumstances listed above. This is the first relationship that I wouldn't let anything interfere with, especially a job that I don't really want. I'm not interested in money, I want to be with her, and I don't want to be exhausted every day.. So now, I'm looking for a way to end the new job after about a month working it that won't upset her. I even tried to tank the behavioral assessment so they wouldn't hire me. It didn't work. I know I can keep up with the work load, I'll just be exhausted. I'm thinking I could sabotage it and get fired, or quit and lie that I got fired, I don't want to lie to her. This relationship shouldn't even work, it's beyond me how it's lasting. I know you're probably going to say something about an age gap, or that I'm only interested in getting in her pants and taking advantage of her. That's far from the truth. So, there are three reasons I don't want this job. 1.) Exhaustion. 2.) It could possibly jeopardize my relationship. 3.) I don't want to miss her for anything. What to do... What to do...
PegNosePete Posted March 24, 2016 Posted March 24, 2016 You seem to be going to remarkable lengths to avoid sticking up for yourself? Tell her that it's your life, your decision, and that you've decided not to take the new job.
Author JasonSturgis Posted March 24, 2016 Author Posted March 24, 2016 Lol, that was the first thing I tried, believe me.
clia Posted March 25, 2016 Posted March 25, 2016 Hello. I'm sorry for the book here. Please skip to the end for a brief summary if you don't want to read. First off, a little about me and her. I'm 24, she's 18 and just about to graduate school. I met her back in the beginning of August of 2015. I was her trainer at a fast food place. When I first saw her, there was instant attraction on both sides. Something that has never happened to either of us. We quickly became friends, talking about music, movies, TV shows, family, but the attraction was still there. I learned that we were a lot alike, both in how we were raised and the things we liked. I decided to take the plunge and ask her out in December of that year. It's been 4 months now. Her parents won't let her leave much because they want her to graduate, and I understand that. I want her to graduate also. So, 4 months of just seeing her at work and talking over Facebook, and me going up to where I work on my off days to see her. It sounds unfair, but so far, it's working perfectly, we're both happy, she's planning on moving in with a friend soon. I applied for this new job before I met her. Hard, fast paced, exhausting factory work.They finally called me to an interview where I was hired on the spot and offered $16 an hour, $7 more than what I make at the fast food place. They explained to me that I could be working seven or more days in a row. I started feeling really depressed a week after the interview, a huge weight was pulling me down. After realizing that I didn't really want the job, I revoked my two weeks notice and put in a leave of absence. The weight was lifted and I was back to my old self. She found out and told me she'd be really upset with me if I quit the new job. I make plenty to live on at the old job, plus I get to see her. The new job will make it harder to see her, at least for the next few months. She wants a better life for me, but all we can think about us not being able to see each other, that brings us both down. I told her I could find something else in the summer when she's finally out of school, she didn't like that. For the first time in my life, I truly love someone, and it's truly reciprocated. I'm happy in my relationship, and the job, despite the circumstances listed above. This is the first relationship that I wouldn't let anything interfere with, especially a job that I don't really want. I'm not interested in money, I want to be with her, and I don't want to be exhausted every day.. So now, I'm looking for a way to end the new job after about a month working it that won't upset her. I even tried to tank the behavioral assessment so they wouldn't hire me. It didn't work. I know I can keep up with the work load, I'll just be exhausted. I'm thinking I could sabotage it and get fired, or quit and lie that I got fired, I don't want to lie to her. This relationship shouldn't even work, it's beyond me how it's lasting. I know you're probably going to say something about an age gap, or that I'm only interested in getting in her pants and taking advantage of her. That's far from the truth. So, there are three reasons I don't want this job. 1.) Exhaustion. 2.) It could possibly jeopardize my relationship. 3.) I don't want to miss her for anything. What to do... What to do... To be honest, I think she's behaving more like an adult than you are. You've been offered a job making nearly double what you make now, and rather than leaping at the chance, you are worried you won't get to see your girlfriend enough and you might be "exhausted." Seriously? What are the hours at this job? What is your plan for the future? To keep making $9 an hour working at a fast food restaurant? What are your girlfriend's plans once she graduates in a couple months? Have you ever even taken this girl out on a date outside of visiting her at work? Here's what's going to happen. Your 18 year old girlfriend who is driven enough to be working at the fast food place now is going to outgrow you. She is going to look for a guy who wants more out of life than to be making $9 an hour working fast food. And off she'll go. She probably thinks you are nuts not to be taking this job. I know I would. She's encouraging you to move forward with your life, to try to earn more money, to get some experience doing something else. You aren't thinking about the big picture. If you decline this job, you will lose her. Although, chances are you will lose her anyway. You two are not on the same page. 2
rester Posted March 25, 2016 Posted March 25, 2016 To be honest, I think she's behaving more like an adult than you are. You've been offered a job making nearly double what you make now, and rather than leaping at the chance, you are worried you won't get to see your girlfriend enough and you might be "exhausted." Seriously? What are the hours at this job? What is your plan for the future? To keep making $9 an hour working at a fast food restaurant? What are your girlfriend's plans once she graduates in a couple months? Have you ever even taken this girl out on a date outside of visiting her at work? Here's what's going to happen. Your 18 year old girlfriend who is driven enough to be working at the fast food place now is going to outgrow you. She is going to look for a guy who wants more out of life than to be making $9 an hour working fast food. And off she'll go. She probably thinks you are nuts not to be taking this job. I know I would. She's encouraging you to move forward with your life, to try to earn more money, to get some experience doing something else. You aren't thinking about the big picture. If you decline this job, you will lose her. Although, chances are you will lose her anyway. You two are not on the same page. I agree with this. At your age and the length of time you've been in this relationship, I would be making life decisions based on what I want out of life, not based on how often I get to see my 18 year-old girlfriend. If taking a better job, or going off to school, or traveling the world, or whatever else floats your boat, is the direction you want your life to take, don't let a relationship hold you back at your age. Go for it and don't look back.
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