xingyi Posted March 24, 2016 Posted March 24, 2016 Meeting this guy for less than ten times, but he kept telling me that he really liked me and wanted me to be his girlfriend (he knows I want a relationship) Anyways, he never took me out for a date, and didn't want me to go over to his place. He has been using different phone numbers to contact me, and I guess he is hiding something from me. He gives me lots of sweet talks, so I guess it is just because he wants to keep sleeping with me. Last time I saw him he told me that he was falling for me, but his heart told him "not" to have a relationship because he is afraid of being hurt. To me it was just his excuses and it was a bull****. He said he was serious and no one would say this as a joke. I think I have my answer, but my question is, does guys say anything to get into girls pants? Most of the guys I have met are very honest, and this one is so different.
Scarlett.O'hara Posted March 24, 2016 Posted March 24, 2016 Keeps using different numbers to call you and won't let you near his house *Red Flags!!* Depending on his age he could be in a serious relationship or have a wife. Don't be played for a fool. It is time to do some detective work and find out more about this guy. It sounds like he is hiding something.
Emilia Posted March 24, 2016 Posted March 24, 2016 No, don't do detective work, just stop talking to him. He is bad news 6
TaraMaiden2 Posted March 24, 2016 Posted March 24, 2016 ....he told me that he was falling for me, but his heart told him "not" to have a relationship because he is afraid of being hurt..... Bull. Bovine Scatology, as I like to call it. Permit me to elaborate: There are 2 modes of thinking: One is logical and rational, and usually steers us in the best and most appropriate direction. The other is Emotional, and can lead us into doing crazy, reckless things. The first is initially harder and less satisfying, immediately, but in the long run, is the wiser course, and leads, more often than not, to a good conclusion. The second is more satisfying immediately, and gives us gratification, but in the long run, can lead us to perdition and sadness. The first is done with the head. The second, with the heart. He's lying if he says his heart is telling him to 'not have a relationship' because a heart-based decision will always lead us into precisely that kind of relationship. So he doesn't want to commit to you - but still wants sex with you? He's not thinking with his heart. He's being devious and calculating with his head. And his trouser friend is helping him make these decisions. I agree that his devious methods of contacting you are hiding something big. And yes, it would certainly be within the scope of reality to consider he is in fact married, committed or has another woman, or other women, on the side. Put as much distance between yourself and him as is possible. I hear Jupiter is quite nice at this time of year.... 3
jonsnuh Posted March 24, 2016 Posted March 24, 2016 This guy sounds like a textbook player. Stay away from him unless you want to get burned.
Author xingyi Posted March 24, 2016 Author Posted March 24, 2016 Keeps using different numbers to call you and won't let you near his house *Red Flags!!* Depending on his age he could be in a serious relationship or have a wife. Don't be played for a fool. It is time to do some detective work and find out more about this guy. It sounds like he is hiding something. He is probably not married because he is only 25 years old I asked a few times if he has a girlfriend, and the last time he told me was like this : i swear to god i don't have a girlfriend. So i guess he has other women on the side, but he always said no
Author xingyi Posted March 24, 2016 Author Posted March 24, 2016 This guy sounds like a textbook player. Stay away from him unless you want to get burned. Yes. I think he probably has two phones. One is his regular one, the other one is for different women, which is a pay as you go phone. He doesn't really like to text me, so he made the lie that his had texted me many times(but i didn't get any) and his phone had problem with texting, so instead he just emailing me.
Cherryz Posted March 24, 2016 Posted March 24, 2016 So i guess you guys were sleeping with each-other in those 10 times? So why would he have to do so much effort to keep sleeping with you/? you told him you wont anymore? I think if you should do what your got is telling you. And yes, i even heard of storys of crazy sick man. That even after years they try different ways again just to get to sleep with that one girl they have been perving to dream with. Or do exactly the things they know you say you wanted, till they get what they want they leave you. So be smart and stand your ground once you see a guy is just messing around or if you feel there is something fishy, dont even go try it to see what it may be! Not even have a drink with them! 1
Tribble Posted March 24, 2016 Posted March 24, 2016 (he knows I want a relationship) Then start acting like it. This guy doesn't want a relationship but you're giving him sex anyway. Find someone worth your time to have a relationship with and leave this guy. And I know a number of people married at 25. 1
TaraMaiden2 Posted March 24, 2016 Posted March 24, 2016 He is probably not married because he is only 25 years old I asked a few times if he has a girlfriend, and the last time he told me was like this : i swear to god i don't have a girlfriend. So i guess he has other women on the side, but he always said no Please don't tell me that you sincerely believe any of that... FTR, I was married and expecting a child at 25. My brother married at 24. So taht puts paid to that theory. Even if he ISN'T Married, he may well be committed to someone. And if you think "I swear to God I don't have a girlfriend" is in any way credible, then let me ask you this: Am I a 5' 8" (UK) size 10, actually quite attractive fit woman, who regularly does photographic work for jobs requiring clothed models (catalogues, brochures, advertising) or am I a 4' 10 small, slim, dark-haired and relatively plain shop assistant? One of those is true. Without seeing evidence, how would you know which is which? 2
Gaeta Posted March 24, 2016 Posted March 24, 2016 Meeting this guy for less than ten times, but he kept telling me that he really liked me and wanted me to be his girlfriend (he knows I want a relationship) So why doesn't he make you his girlfriend? Anyways, he never took me out for a date Have you asked to be taken out on dates? What was his answer? , and didn't want me to go over to his place. What was his excuse for refusing? He has been using different phone numbers to contact me, and I guess he is hiding something from me. Did you ask why he has several numbers? I think I have my answer, but my question is, does guys say anything to get into girls pants? All the time. I dated a man for over a year. He never wanted to go out on dates, his excuse was money, when I offered to pay for our dates he found other excuses, we never went out in public together. He also never took me to his place even if I requested it several times. Again he was full of excuses, he was living in his brother and SIL etc. And yes, he told me everything I wanted to hear, that I was his girl, it was only me, he had feelings for me, blahblahblah. Fast forward 1 year, he was living with a woman. As for this guy's age, I was married at 20 and a mother at 21. Don't think he is single cause he's 24. 1
Author xingyi Posted March 24, 2016 Author Posted March 24, 2016 So i guess you guys were sleeping with each-other in those 10 times? So why would he have to do so much effort to keep sleeping with you/? you told him you wont anymore? I think if you should do what your got is telling you. And yes, i even heard of storys of crazy sick man. That even after years they try different ways again just to get to sleep with that one girl they have been perving to dream with. Or do exactly the things they know you say you wanted, till they get what they want they leave you. So be smart and stand your ground once you see a guy is just messing around or if you feel there is something fishy, dont even go try it to see what it may be! Not even have a drink with them! Yes once i said i want to stop seeing him, he would start to sweet talk. He even said he would propose to me. Anuways i don't believe what he said, and talk are cheap
Author xingyi Posted March 24, 2016 Author Posted March 24, 2016 So why doesn't he make you his girlfriend? Have you asked to be taken out on dates? What was his answer? What was his excuse for refusing? Did you ask why he has several numbers? All the time. I dated a man for over a year. He never wanted to go out on dates, his excuse was money, when I offered to pay for our dates he found other excuses, we never went out in public together. He also never took me to his place even if I requested it several times. Again he was full of excuses, he was living in his brother and SIL etc. And yes, he told me everything I wanted to hear, that I was his girl, it was only me, he had feelings for me, blahblahblah. Fast forward 1 year, he was living with a woman. As for this guy's age, I was married at 20 and a mother at 21. Don't think he is single cause he's 24. This guy is too fishy for me. I think he is living with some girl or he is afraid that i will stalk him? I definitely won't do that. Before he told me he lives alone, then he told me that he has a roommate now but his roommate doesn't like him to bring girls home to have sex. That's just his excuse
kendahke Posted March 24, 2016 Posted March 24, 2016 , do guys say anything to get into girls pants? Most of the guys I have met are very honest, and this one is so different. Yes. Some will.
kendahke Posted March 24, 2016 Posted March 24, 2016 He is probably not married because he is only 25 years old what does being 25 have to do with anything? Plenty of men marry young. You'd be well served by not thinking so rigidly about what someone you barely know would do. Yes, he could very well be married. He's an adult, not a child. I asked a few times if he has a girlfriend, and the last time he told me was like this : i swear to god i don't have a girlfriend. So i guess he has other women on the side, but he always said no What else is a liar going to say? The reason why he probably does have a girlfriend is the number of phones he's got. He doesn't want to get them mixed up when they contact him. This guy is shady a.f. I'd advise you not dealing with him on a romantic level anymore.
kendahke Posted March 24, 2016 Posted March 24, 2016 Anyways, he never took me out for a date, and didn't want me to go over to his place. He has been using different phone numbers to contact me, and I guess he is hiding something from me. He gives me lots of sweet talks, so I guess it is just because he wants to keep sleeping with me. He is treating you like the side piece. As in: he's got a main girlfriend, but he's not going to be seen out in public with you because someone who knows him and his main girlfriend may see him and bomb his little nest, so he's not about to take you out anywhere he will be seen. Of course, he's not bringing you to the nest---she's there and most likely isn't bi or into 3somes. Last time I saw him he told me that he was falling for me, but his heart told him "not" to have a relationship because he is afraid of being hurt. To me it was just his excuses and it was a bull****. Oh. My. God. This is manipulation. We've all been hurt, dude--grow up and get over it. So what he's saying is that he'll use you for the sex you offer him, but he doesn't think enough of you to enter into a relationship with you. This is a FWB/F-buddy set up. It's not headed towards relationship, marriage--nothing. It's going nowhere.
kendahke Posted March 24, 2016 Posted March 24, 2016 He's lying if he says his heart is telling him to 'not have a relationship' because a heart-based decision will always lead us into precisely that kind of relationship. and this right here is probably the most important insight on this thread. The heart rarely says "no"--it's the head that does that. The head will always overrule the heart.
strawberryshortstack Posted March 24, 2016 Posted March 24, 2016 Yes. I think he probably has two phones. One is his regular one, the other one is for different women, which is a pay as you go phone. He doesn't really like to text me, so he made the lie that his had texted me many times(but i didn't get any) and his phone had problem with texting, so instead he just emailing me. Because emails can be deleted. Texting shows up on the bill, so if someone else pays the bill, they can see a record of his texting habits. I know you don't think it's probable, but he is very likely married, or in a relationship with someone else. All the signs point to that.
Scarlett.O'hara Posted March 24, 2016 Posted March 24, 2016 He is probably not married because he is only 25 years old I asked a few times if he has a girlfriend, and the last time he told me was like this : i swear to god i don't have a girlfriend. So i guess he has other women on the side, but he always said no Well it sounds pretty clear that despite all the warning signs you are too emotionally invested to just kick this guy to the curb, so I will stand by my original advice that you should do some digging and find out more about this guy. Once you find out all the facts, you can make an informed decision about what to do. For what it is worth, I wouldn't need further proof to dump this guy, but I can appreciate the fact that this is hard for you.
Author xingyi Posted March 25, 2016 Author Posted March 25, 2016 He is treating you like the side piece. As in: he's got a main girlfriend, but he's not going to be seen out in public with you because someone who knows him and his main girlfriend may see him and bomb his little nest, so he's not about to take you out anywhere he will be seen. Of course, he's not bringing you to the nest---she's there and most likely isn't bi or into 3somes. Oh. My. God. This is manipulation. We've all been hurt, dude--grow up and get over it. So what he's saying is that he'll use you for the sex you offer him, but he doesn't think enough of you to enter into a relationship with you. This is a FWB/F-buddy set up. It's not headed towards relationship, marriage--nothing. It's going nowhere. This guy is the most manipulative guy I have ever seen. I have been with guys, but all of them are quite upfront and don't mislead me. I don't know why this guy is acting like this. Maybe it is a game for him. He will try to make you fall for him to have sex with him, and after him he gets he wants he loses the interest. When he wants the sex again he will contact me again and persuade me to have sex with him again
Author xingyi Posted March 25, 2016 Author Posted March 25, 2016 Because emails can be deleted. Texting shows up on the bill, so if someone else pays the bill, they can see a record of his texting habits. I know you don't think it's probable, but he is very likely married, or in a relationship with someone else. All the signs point to that. Yes I think he is probably married. Any single guy wouldn't hide things like him. At least he could tell me his real phone number instead using this "pay as you go" one time phone cards. If I am really in a relationship, I wouldn't say stuff like" I swear to god I am not in a relationship". So he is probably in a marriage lol, or he is a completely liar and doesn't feel afraid to lie. Or he might be fooling around with lots of women
Author xingyi Posted March 25, 2016 Author Posted March 25, 2016 Well it sounds pretty clear that despite all the warning signs you are too emotionally invested to just kick this guy to the curb, so I will stand by my original advice that you should do some digging and find out more about this guy. Once you find out all the facts, you can make an informed decision about what to do. For what it is worth, I wouldn't need further proof to dump this guy, but I can appreciate the fact that this is hard for you. I think I have got enough reasons to dump this guys. He lied to me many times I was giving the benefit of doubt, but now I have enough proof to not believe him again. It is not worth it
Ferret Posted March 25, 2016 Posted March 25, 2016 Im sorry this screams MARRIED MAN all over it I was once in a similar situation when I was much younger he was a older guy we randomly met in public one day and apparently he was smitten and I was young and dumb. He would call me from his work or a pay phone only and would never give me a solid reason why I couldn't come back to his place ever even as things carried on. After a while I got tired of the game and moved away and ended things he never did confess but something was def up do yourself the favor and end things move on find some one who is truly available..
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