LT1985 Posted March 23, 2016 Posted March 23, 2016 Ok so ex fiance of 4 1/2 years left me just before xmas. Out of the blue.. Lead me on me on for a couple months, while she was hoooking up with her ex etc. Not sure if they on or not atm.. Anyway, last week i got some bad test results back and i may have prostate cancer. As you can imagin i was a mess any way i emailed her just letting her know. No reply.... Over the weekend i did tell her sister as she has been through a simular thing and i am still close with them asked her not to tell her though as if she cared she would ccontact me. Anyway had specialist tuesday, which said bad but good news told the sister she told my ex she should speak to me. Anyway get a email from her claiming she didnt get it ive got snippets out of our emails below Her - "I didnt get that email at all. I would never ignore an email like that. I cant even comprehend how frightened you are feeling and I hate to sound like a cheerleader but its been caught early and it's treatable. Im here if u need me okay." Me - "Times lately i just want to give up cause i just dont care anymore. And forgive me for saying this but i dont want a pitty party. Last time i saw you you said u wished i wasnt hear. So you dont need to make out ur worried if your not. Like i said the main reason i said something to you was because ur still down on all of my insurance stuff if something does happen. And i cant change it because ill need to provide updated medical stuff. So yea And yes i told you because i was scared but i shouldnt have done that i.just didnt know who to go to."" Her - "Im not pittying you luke, some things are a bit bigger then differences we may have and I dont want u to feel alone because thats not the case. focus on your health. I know everything feels horrible right now but it will be okay, you will be okay. If you need any money too let me know as Im happy to help out. " Me - "Im not getting into this atm as it is what it is and us ended in a way which it wasnt ment to end like. Its been messy and things have been said and done which shouldnt have. I mean even now we are speaking over email about the possibility of me having prostate cancer... lol... can we not even talk to each other? I dont even know how to get a hold of you when i need to tell you something that is important. I was so hurt and angry when i hadnt got a reply even saying i hope ur ok between friday and today as i said i had a specialist app today. But right now all i have to focus on is getting though the time between now and when i get my results and yea. I dont need your money either. Thankyou for the email as well" I took all of this with a grrain of salt as to if she would support me. But yea had a scare yesterday with some blood etc so msged her and nothing back at all. Seriously why would you fu*k with someone when they are sick saying you would support when you had no intention to. I fired off this last ngiht back and still no response.. Soo... tonight's excuse is? I sent this msg to you today because i was worried once again. Knew you work late but thought as ur here for "support" you would maybe reply when you saw it. (Name) this isnt a ****ing game. I was quite content with you actually didnt give a **** until last night. Even last night i only took with a dash of salt. Did you expect me just to tell you to get ****ed that way you could of made ur self feel better by saying ohh i tried to be there if anything bad actually happened. Like i said in that last email we were talking about me possibly having cancer over emails... can we not pick up the phone anymore? If i heard that about you i would do everything in my power no.matter that the situation was to find you and just give you a hug. But you... send a email. I actually think you did read it friday as well and just chose not to reply then might have felt bad yesterday when u heard it maybe serious. Least you got ur ring as a keepsake hope it fits being resized and looks nice all re done, and hey you might just get a house and all.
sorano Posted March 23, 2016 Posted March 23, 2016 I know its going to sound weird but, that is why NC is important. I understand you were scared and wanted her to know. If it was me? I wouldn't have told her bc you are expecting a certain response back and her to act a certain way. But you didnt get that from her and exploded. I mean, she did say she would be there and even give you money. My ex gf didnt even give a rats ass when my back went out and was using my walls as a walker. I would fall down and she was nowhere in site to help me out. I know its not as severe as cancer god forbid. But laying on the floor, almost passing out bc of the pain and my gf wasn;t supporting me, really did feel like crap. Maybe your break up ended differently. Mine was bad. so I would never in a million years ask her or contact her ever again. 2
Satu Posted March 23, 2016 Posted March 23, 2016 I hope you make a successful recovery. You need to go NC. *No direct contact. *No sending or receiving of messages. *Block any means she might use to contact you. *No replies to anything that gets through your blocks. *No indirect contact through third parties. *De-friend or delete from all social media. *No monitoring of her on social media. *No 'little birds' feeding you news. *Tell people that you don't want to know anything about what she is doing or saying. Take care. 2
Heatemyheart89 Posted March 24, 2016 Posted March 24, 2016 Hey, your health is the most important thing. I told my ex I was viciously attacked (again not the same as cancer) and he said he would give me money for counselling, but wanted nothing more to do with me personally. I didn't take the money, it hurt he didn't want to see me , but hey live moves on. I wish you well in your recovery. Go no contact and be well. 1
whichwayisup Posted March 24, 2016 Posted March 24, 2016 Rely on other friends and your family. Stop emailing her completely and same with her sister. She's your ex now and doesn't need to know what's going on in your life. You don't trust her or think she's truly sincere. Good thoughts only and stay positive. I hope just focus on yourself and health not on her.
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