Why did she become this way. She didnt deserve my love right?

[Bobbyhags]

My ex and I met last spring while in college. She had developed a crush on me and after a few coffee and study dates I decided to ask her out. We were so compatible and had so much in common and loved spending time with each other just like a healthy couple should. During the 1st month of our relationship, we were passionate with each other. She would always want me to spend the night at her place, wanted to cuddle, would want to kiss and would always get on top of me. We would have a great sex life, would shower together, etc.

 

 

Problems started to arise when she moved into the same apartment complex as me. We were too close and I think it was the problem. This is when she started to act weird. I love going to the gym and working out everyday is part of my schedule. I remember one day I had to go back to my hometown and she had to work. I left before she had to go to work so I could go to the gym and she freaked out. She said I was putting the gym first and didn't care about her and sent me an immature "we're done" text. Nevertheless, we made up when I got home. that was also the last time we had sex. The whole summer seemed like a challenge. If I ever wanted to go to the gym before she went to work or wanted to hang out with my friends instead of her, she would get so mad and threaten to break up with me. There was this one time I went to my friends wedding, and she got upset because she thought I was going to hit on other girls. She said she was falling in love with me and was afraid I didn't feel the same. I did love her though.

 

 

I loved her and did a lot for her. However, the passion and intimacy were gone. We no longer had sex, we didn't shower together, and she wouldn't even want to be naked in front of me. If I asked for sex or started making moves, she rejected them, although if she wanted to be pleasured, it was fine. If I did, she told me no. Towards the end of our relationship, she didn't want me to spend the night anymore or even cuddle. If we were on the couch and I tried to kiss her, she would say stop or turn her head probably 75% of the time. I used to kiss her on the forehead a lot and she said it was annoying. I used to go home feeling worthless and like she didn't love me. I had this beautiful girl who I loved and wanted to be intimate with, and I couldn't. She always claimed that it was "all I ever thought about"

 

 

She always put the blame on me and said I wasn't her first priority if I went to the gym or hung out with friends. It was as if I got no respect. I loved her. I bought her flowers all the time, I took her out, I told her she was beautiful every single day, but I guess it wasn't good enough. I know she loved me, but it seemed like she didn't want me around. I didn't smother her, and didn't think it was a good idea to be around each other so much.

 

 

When I think back, I feel like she didn't deserve my love and my friends say the same. They would see me come home in tears sometimes because I was hurt that she rejected me most nights or she would make me feel guilty during our arguments. However, despite all this, I still love her and would want to make us work again. We've been broken up for 6 months and she's been dating a new guy for 5. I've tried to move on but she still weighs so heavily on my heart.

Any thoughts would be appreciated.

[d0nnivain]

She was a very demanding & unreasonable GF. You have to let her go. You can go out & meet a sane GF who won't stress you out about going to the gym.

[PegNosePete]

We've been broken up for 6 months and she's been dating a new guy for 5.

I would wager that she's been "dating" him for a lot longer than that.

 

The relationship is clearly over. Time to NC her and move on.

[Zahara]

I've tried to move on but she still weighs so heavily on my heart.

Any thoughts would be appreciated.

 

You're still moving on and it is going to take time for you to fully heal. It's only been 6 months since your break-up.

 

She sounds exhausting. Controlling and insecure. You did the right thing. No one should walk on eggshells in a relationship.