My new reality after my affair ended

[nymphetgrown]

I lost my father tragically when I was 17 and the fact I hear of people disowning their parents because they made a decision they didn't agree with, makes me shake my head.

 

I'm sorry for your loss. At least it was clean-cut, over, done. At least you can look back with love at this person and your memories of him.

 

The way my dad carried on for so much of my life, my mother and I were constantly losing him. Turning around and wondering "who ARE you?" about someone you loved that deeply, and still do on some level, that's a gift that keeps on giving. Over and over the mourning. Always some new grief. Never being able to trust him the way you did before.

 

We don't get to close the book and move on. We will be living with him, and the consequences, for the rest of our lives, even after he dies. His decision changed us both for the worse, irreparably. I never thought I'd become the person who decides that when the time comes, Daddy's going to the old soldiers' home, but Mum's staying with me -- but I am that person. I need to take care of her when she is old. Someone else needs to take care of him. God help us all if she wants him with us. She's given up so much of her life taking care of him and what did she get in return? Only lies, betrayal, and exposure to STIs.

 

Until you've been there, no, maybe you can't believe what it does to families. Maybe, since you don't understand, you could try listening to those who are telling their stories of that experience.

[William]

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