Amlee Posted March 23, 2016 Posted March 23, 2016 (edited) My question here is : Is she still caught up on her ex I'm just going to give you a little back drop of the situation first I've been dating this girl for about 9 months, things have been going well. She seems to be crazily into me and seems to act as though she's fallen for me. She keeps talking marriage and kids with me (all the time) and never wants to be away from me. We are both in our mid 30's, I had been in a 10 year plus relationship before her and she had been in a few relationships but dated around a lot. (ABOUT HER) She says she was engaged to be married about 5 years ago to some guy she'd been with for 3 years. And has dated and been in relationships since him. She left this guy because of mental abuse from him. He was older and had money. Anyway I'm kind of having second thoughts about her because she seems to talk about this guy a lot!! Rarely any of her other ex boyfriends just this guy. She will mention things about him almost every day. She still has old gifts he brought her, (even a big ugly broken painting hanging up in her living room). I mean she says she left him over 5 years ago and was only with him for 3 years. But he keeps getting brought up by him in some way. Soon after they broke up she wrote a blog saying that she was finding it harder to get over him than her passed lovers and that she was broken hearted. I have asked her straight out if she still has feelings for him and is still in love with him and she denies it& says that she only keeps talking about him because he got into her head and almost broke her as a person. She says she holds anger but is not still holding on to feelings for him. I will never be second best to my woman and am getting annoyed that she keeps mentioning things to do with him and seems to be holding onto things to do with him. I MEAN SHE REALLY TALKS ABOUT THIS DUDE A LOT. But then tells me how miserable he was and how she wishes certain experiences she had with him was with me. But why does he keep coming up when she's dated and been in relationships with other people since? Should I knock this one on the head? Could she just be using me because she's at the stage in her life where she wants to get married and have kids and I seem like a stable guy to do that with? Also she has told me that she would sneak around behind his back when he asked her not to do certain things. I mean he did sound like a control freak and an azzhole but is that a warning sign that she won't be straight up with me? I am a laid back easy going person and like pure honesty in my relationships & have already spotted her lying to me about removing some photos off of social media that I found inappropriate for my girlfriend to have up on line and about unfriending certain guys who have a sexual interest in her. Are these warning signs? Should I let her go from now? If she can't be straight up with me when I try to talk to her am I just going to get problems in the future? And is she still caught up and stuck on her ex? Edited March 23, 2016 by Amlee
Bee4Shine Posted March 23, 2016 Posted March 23, 2016 You cannot underestimate the power of mental abuse. Crazy things like this do occur. She broke up with him but there is this strange tie. Can you help her seek counseling? Before you make any decision one way or the other about your relationship, if you really care for her, it would be best if she could discuss this with a professional. Maybe she can truly let go and be free from that mental abuse she suffered. I know it is hard. Especially, when you see signs that she is in love with you. Give her a chance to truly heal. 1
Orion39 Posted March 30, 2016 Posted March 30, 2016 I would agree and see it as something to take caution or a warning sign. It's one thing to mention previous relationships as you become secure in a new relationship, but to make it a daily occurrence is a tough pill to swallow. I still have gifts from ex-gfs and am now married, but they are very few. I still am friends with an ex, so much to I watch her kids from time to time, but even with that close of a friendship she was not someone I mentioned everyday when dating my now wife. I'd make her aware of your concerns, if this is someone you are interested in moving forward with consider talking to a professional together about this issue. Hope it works out well for you.
Recommended Posts