Would it be weird to contact a former female coworker via facebook message

[you_can_not_see_me]

While I was going through some of my friends facebook posts I noticed a post by a former female coworker.

 

I have always been attracted to this girls, even when we used to be coworkers over three years ago. But while we were coworkers she was already dating someone and I was also pursuing other women. I also didn't like the idea of trying to date a coworker, so I never really considered trying to date the girl.

 

Anyway, since we were coworkers and casual friends, we are facebook friends and while seeing her recent post I happened to notice that her relationship status says she's single now, so this is how I find myself where I am.

 

 

So my question I have for you guys is:

 

Would it be weird/unattractive to message this girl via facebook and suggest a meetup?

I do technically have her phone number, but I thought it might be better to message her via facebook first, since she might not initially recognize me if I text her on the phone but she ll definitely know who I am on facebook.

So what do you think?

[smudge21]

Say hello, be polite and keep it simple. Treat her as you would anyone else on there that you haven't spoken to in a while.

[Zippy2000]

It may be better to message her and tell her what your real intentions are.

 

You want to ask her out for a drink.

 

The risk is with this is she will either blank or forget about you.

 

If you add her as a friend and speak to her she may well just think its an old acquantance.

 

Theres nothing really wrong with contacting somone on social media. Thats what its there for but a lot of people need to know your real intentions or they ll just be friendly towards you its obvious you want more,

 

Just be prepared if she tells you she isnt interested.

[Miss Peach]

It may be better to message her and tell her what your real intentions are.

 

You want to ask her out for a drink.

 

The risk is with this is she will either blank or forget about you.

 

If you add her as a friend and speak to her she may well just think its an old acquantance.

 

This is my thought too. I recently had three coworkers contact me an I initially thought it was under the guise of catching up, possibly networking to get a new job.

 

One of the guys started calling me and asking me out every week which started to make me uncomfortable because he was married and I have BF (and we have all met so it was known to all of us). In my case I would have just turned the guy down if I had known his real intentions.

 

The second and third guys contacted me just to catch up and see if I knew of other jobs he could move to and was innocent.

 

You just don't know as the women unless it's explicit. I know not all women would agree but the one guy who set the boundary and let me know he was reaching out specifically for networking actually earned quite a but of respect from me for doing that.

[truth_seeker]

 

One of the guys started calling me and asking me out every week which started to make me uncomfortable because he was married and I have BF (and we have all met so it was known to all of us). In my case I would have just turned the guy down if I had known his real intentions.

 

 

What a sc-mbag! Pretty clear what he was after. Did it ever cross your mind to contact his wife?

[you_can_not_see_me]

It may be better to message her and tell her what your real intentions are.

 

You want to ask her out for a drink.

 

The risk is with this is she will either blank or forget about you.

 

If you add her as a friend and speak to her she may well just think its an old acquantance.

 

Theres nothing really wrong with contacting somone on social media. Thats what its there for but a lot of people need to know your real intentions or they ll just be friendly towards you its obvious you want more,

 

Just be prepared if she tells you she isnt interested.

We are already friends on facebook, and she knows who I am. I said she might not remember right away if I text her on her phone instead of facebook, because we ve never really texted one another on the phone before.

[you_can_not_see_me]

This is my thought too. I recently had three coworkers contact me an I initially thought it was under the guise of catching up, possibly networking to get a new job.

 

One of the guys started calling me and asking me out every week which started to make me uncomfortable because he was married and I have BF (and we have all met so it was known to all of us). In my case I would have just turned the guy down if I had known his real intentions.

 

The second and third guys contacted me just to catch up and see if I knew of other jobs he could move to and was innocent.

 

You just don't know as the women unless it's explicit. I know not all women would agree but the one guy who set the boundary and let me know he was reaching out specifically for networking actually earned quite a but of respect from me for doing that.

Yeah after some short catching up, I do intend to make it clear I want to go on something of a date.

But there should be no cheating issues with this case, since I m single and apparently she is too.

[spriggan2]

I agree with Facebook > phone. Asking her out on a date > veiled intentions.

 

Get her number and set something up. If she says no move on. Doesn't seem like you're interested in just being friends with her.