katiegrl Posted March 24, 2016 Share Posted March 24, 2016 I am not debating if you saw that information or not, I just want OP to tell if indeed he moved away or not. Would your opinion change if he had not moved away? Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted March 24, 2016 Share Posted March 24, 2016 You said: 1. he chose to move miles away from you---that should say something to you. I know he moved to a new apartment, she talks about it in her thread dated August 2015 and in this thread. I have not seen a place where she says he moved away. Just that he moved apartment. 2 hours away. Not 10 minutes away. 2 hours one way. Where I live, that's the distance between DC and southern New Jersey. That's not close by. And they clearly knew one another before he made this move because she says she helped him move. She didn't say she was hired as his moving company, so I don't think they were strangers when he moved. Away. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted March 24, 2016 Share Posted March 24, 2016 Would your opinion change if he had not moved away? I think he's not into her already, if on top of that he moved away during their relationship it would confirm even more what I am thinking. She never says he moves away, she says he moves apartment. I think they always have been long distance and he just changed apartment at some point. If my bf moved 2 hours away I wouldn't say he moved apartment, I would say he is moving to another city. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted March 24, 2016 Share Posted March 24, 2016 I think he's not into her already, if on top of that he moved away during their relationship it would confirm even more what I am thinking. She never says he moves away, she says he moves apartment. I think they always have been long distance and he just changed apartment at some point. If my bf moved 2 hours away I wouldn't say he moved apartment, I would say he is moving to another city. Gaeta, this is how she described her RL with this guy back in October when they first met: >>We go on dates and hang out and stuff but we're not exclusive. JMO, but this leads me to conclude that when they met and first started dating, they were living in the same area. I could be wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted March 24, 2016 Share Posted March 24, 2016 2 hours away. Not 10 minutes away. 2 hours one way. Where I live, that's the distance between DC and southern New Jersey. That's not close by. And they clearly knew one another before he made this move because she says she helped him move. She didn't say she was hired as his moving company, so I don't think they were strangers when he moved. Away. I just caught on on what you mean. The way her sentence is written to me it means she drove to him to help him move from Apartment A to apartment B (both in same city). Not to move him from city to city. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
strawberryshortstack Posted March 24, 2016 Share Posted March 24, 2016 Oh wow I did not think this thread would generate so many responses. I just want to address that I realize I can't ever MAKE my boyfriend do anything. I certainly am not going to make him come over or threaten him with empty threats over this. I was just wondering if I have a legitimate reason to be concerned at him not wanting to spend one free day, which also happens to be a holiday, with my family. Now I freely admit that this is because he has his own place and I don't and thus we have more privacy at his place, but I'm pretty much the one in the relationship that consistently makes the 4 hour round trip so we can see each other. I've driven up in the past just to help him move into his new apartment because I knew it would mean a lot to him, even if I didn't necessarily find it fun or exciting. My mom mentioned that since I visit him so frequently he should make the effort to spend one day with us down here and I'm wondering if she has some insight into this. I am also certainly not a controlling or suffocating person I am one of the most laid back persons that I know of, even my bf has told me he likes that there's no drama with me. Now I realize that he might not want to spend a free day driving 4 hours on the road, but he means a lot to me so even on days when I have worked all day and am tired I still brave crazy rush hour traffic (the traffic between our two cities is terrible) and make the effort to see him. I was hoping he might make the same effort to come spend Easter with my family. Oh, this definitely changes things. I wasn't aware that you and he LIVED two hours apart, and you're the only one making the trips to see him. With this new information, I feel that he should be making more of an effort to go see you, and not just on Easter. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted March 25, 2016 Share Posted March 25, 2016 Well thanks for all the input I suppose I should take a step back and think about if this is a good fit or not. It's just a shame because we get along really well but maybe it's just not a good fit for other reasons :/ Yeah, that's a good decision. Sorry to hear about that OP, but it's probably for the better. Also, FTR, it is much harder to be in a serious R while living with your parents (not saying that would necessarily change things with this guy, but for your future Rs). For privacy reasons, as well as multiple other reasons. At 23 moving out might not be immediately possible, but if you want to do adult stuff (relationships) I would sincerely urge you to prioritize getting on your own feet and moving out as soon as you can. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
caringsister Posted March 25, 2016 Share Posted March 25, 2016 Read the entire thread please. This is definitely not small stuff by any stretch. I just read it and you are right ... it isn't small stuff. Link to post Share on other sites
Jabron1 Posted March 25, 2016 Share Posted March 25, 2016 Regarding Easter, he probably doesn't even understand how much it would mean to you. He's probably just tired and wants a day to relax, and get his sh*t together for the next working week. I know that's how I treat Sundays. Regarding your relationship, it doesn't seem like he's taking it as seriously as you are. I think someone said that you're living with your parents though? That would explain why he wants you to travel to his place. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted March 25, 2016 Share Posted March 25, 2016 I agree that it seems you're more serious about the relationship than he is. Even though you live with your parents, he could do a lot more to alleviate the burden of commuting to spend time together. After all the trips you've made, he won't come spend a special day with you? I can understand why that hurts. Make your feelings on the matter clear, then let it go. Don't push. He's gonna do what he's gonna do. You can't make him excited to come see you on a special day. If he'd rather have the time to himself, that tells you a lot about where his heart is. I've never had a relationship where I felt I was exerting more effort to make it go than the man. That just feels all wrong to me. It should feel balanced. However Easter works out, I hope you have an enjoyable day - the day of resurrection Link to post Share on other sites
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