misslotus Posted March 23, 2016 Posted March 23, 2016 I had been seeing a coworker for the past few weeks now. Everything between us was going great. He took me on dates, told me how much he liked me and how happy he was that we started seeing each other. He opened up about to me on our last date this past Friday about a girl who he had a fling with in the summer (who I happen to know through mutual friend) and ended up hurting him and leaving him for another guy. He wanted to make it clear that he didn't have feelings for her anymore and I respected that he was able to be honest about it. However, today, I received a text from him saying that he is confused about his feelings and that we didn't have the connection that him and the other girl had. He didn't want to hurt me or string me along so now he doesn't want to continue what we had going. This completely caught me off guard and I was not expecting it at all. He literally told me I was perfect and such a great person, that he was heart broken to have to call things off between us. So I guess my question(s) here are, was I just a rebound this whole time? And how should I go about having to see him at work now? I am hurt by this situation, however, I do not want to cause any drama in the workplace. 2
whichwayisup Posted March 23, 2016 Posted March 23, 2016 If you can, suck it up and just be professional to him. You didn't invest tons into him so don't worry about how he will feel if you don't do personal chit chat with him at work. It is possible he had time to think about his ex after opening up to you and realized that there are feelings left. Either way, he's not worth it since he's not fully into you. 3
Deidre Posted March 23, 2016 Posted March 23, 2016 Ah, never date someone you work with. Everrrr. That said, for now...just be nice and professional, and if he wants to talk about the relationship, just explain that you don't want to discuss it at work. But, even outside of work, I'd cut the contact with the guy. I don't trust people who aren't over their exes but want to string others along...and that is what will happen, if you're in his life, even as a friend. I'd remove him from FB if he's on there, and any other social media lists. You'll heal in time, stay strong. ((hug)) 1
Methodical Posted March 23, 2016 Posted March 23, 2016 Sounds like he is trying to be honest rather than try to build a relationship based on pity bc he doesn't want to hurt you. Plus, it's better than ghosting or fading and more mature. As far as interacting with him at work, don't go out of your way to see or avoid seeing him. Take the high road and be courteous and professional. He doesn't want any animosity between you no more than you do. 5
kendahke Posted March 23, 2016 Posted March 23, 2016 If you don't want drama in the workplace, then never isht where you eat. Don't date coworkers for this exact reason. You may have been a rebound this whole time. He doesn't sound like he's over her and he was right to not continue on or lead you on. Keep things professional with him. Some things just don't work out for whatever reason and his reason was he isn't over the other chick. 1
smudge21 Posted March 23, 2016 Posted March 23, 2016 Often people think they're over someone right up until that point they meet someone new, and that closeness, those nights out, they all bring back feelings of the ex. As nice as the new person is, as perfect as they can be, we can still think back to our ex and wish it was them we were with. If you can suck it up at work and just be professional then good luck, but at least it ended before it got too serious. I don't think you were a rebound. I think he maybe truly felt he was ready but often we have no control over who we love, or indeed who we don't want to love. 2
Popsicle Posted March 23, 2016 Posted March 23, 2016 Oh yuck. He still wants to be back with his ex. Move on. Whatever you do don't let him come back to you if he tries! 1
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