fred123 Posted March 23, 2016 Posted March 23, 2016 you have been talking to a girl online for a month or so (every day texting a lot). she has booked her flight to come see you in month or so. But the few weeks before she's due to arrive she gets cold and distant and not really interested as before (from messaging all the time every day to one message a day if that!). Something seems to have changed you feel. What does one do? 1
angel.eyes Posted March 23, 2016 Posted March 23, 2016 If you're online looking for dates, focus on people who are local rather than those that require plane rides to meet. 3
CarrieT Posted March 23, 2016 Posted March 23, 2016 What does one do? There is nothing you can do. Are you sure she is real - that you aren't being CatFished? 1
Author fred123 Posted March 23, 2016 Author Posted March 23, 2016 yh she is real. but we only have messaged on Facebook/watsapp lol 1
Toodaloo Posted March 23, 2016 Posted March 23, 2016 I think she is probably going to call it off. I hope you didn't pay for the ticket... 1
Author fred123 Posted March 23, 2016 Author Posted March 23, 2016 i doubt she would call it off. she's coming to London with a friend. dont know if i should message her and say " we have a misunderstanding. I have been talking to you as more than a friend. I wouldn't message a girl this much unless i really liked her. i dont talk this much to a "friend", i dont ask them out on a date etc and say i want to kiss them and want to fly out to see them. I think I'm just a friend in your eyes?" 1
angel.eyes Posted March 23, 2016 Posted March 23, 2016 Lesson #2: Communicating via Facebook and whatsapp is not evidence that the person is real--i.e. who he or she claims to be. Any catfish worth his or her salt has convincing social media accounts and photos. People without phones can still use whatsapp. For all you know, you're dealing with a pimply teenage boy in Nigeria or Latvia who's having a little fun at your expense. Lesson #3: Don't emotionally invest in people you haven't met. Lesson #4: Don't beg, apologize, grovel, or whatever else to try and keep someone when they begin to fade /lose interest. Especially, when you've done nothing wrong. You haven't even met yet! Again, when looking for dates online, focus locally on people who want to meet relatively quickly. 6
Toodaloo Posted March 23, 2016 Posted March 23, 2016 Lesson #2: Communicating via Facebook and whatsapp is not evidence that the person is real--i.e. who he or she claims to be. Any catfish worth his or her salt has convincing social media accounts and photos. People without phones can still use whatsapp. For all you know, you're dealing with a pimply teenage boy in Nigeria or Latvia who's having a little fun at your expense. Lesson #3: Don't emotionally invest in people you haven't met. Lesson #4: Don't beg, apologize, grovel, or whatever else to try and keep someone when they begin to fade /lose interest. Especially, when you've done nothing wrong. You haven't even met yet! Again, when looking for dates online, focus locally on people who want to meet relatively quickly. Fred I am sorry for you but all of this. It is doubtful you will ever meet this girl.
Author fred123 Posted March 23, 2016 Author Posted March 23, 2016 She is real. My friend knows her. We hhave mutual friend. I just dont know if she is interested in me as a friend or more. Why else would she fly down to see me?
Toodaloo Posted March 23, 2016 Posted March 23, 2016 Why else would she fly down to see me? She isn't. She is flying in with a mate to go round London... That is if she flys down. Which, I am very sorry to say, is looking doubtful. 2
smackie9 Posted March 23, 2016 Posted March 23, 2016 Some people get nervous and have second thoughts, then they stick their head in the sand. Back off and don't push the matter anymore. If there was nothing sexual in those texts, then you are stuck in the friends zone. You cannot base romantic interest on the quantity of interaction....it's what is in those texts that proves real interest.
Author fred123 Posted March 23, 2016 Author Posted March 23, 2016 What u mean by sexual? Should i have asked her if she wanted to have sex with me or sleep in same bed as me?
d0nnivain Posted March 23, 2016 Posted March 23, 2016 i doubt she would call it off. she's coming to London with a friend. dont know if i should message her and say " we have a misunderstanding. I have been talking to you as more than a friend. I wouldn't message a girl this much unless i really liked her. i dont talk this much to a "friend", i dont ask them out on a date etc and say i want to kiss them and want to fly out to see them. I think I'm just a friend in your eyes?" Absolutely not. Do not send this message. Send a message that says I'm looking forward to your trip. I know you arrive on [date]. I'd love to take you on a date out to dinner on [date]. Can your traveling companion entertain herself that night? After dinner maybe we can take a romantic stroll along the Thames. If I'm lucky I hope you may want to steal a kiss or at least let me steal one atop the London Eye. I'm also available to serve as a private tour guide for you & your friend on a different day. Be confident & assertive. No you should not have mentioned sex. that would have been crass & off putting. 3
ExpatInItaly Posted March 24, 2016 Posted March 24, 2016 Absolutely not. Do not send this message. Send a message that says I'm looking forward to your trip. I know you arrive on [date]. I'd love to take you on a date out to dinner on [date]. Can your traveling companion entertain herself that night? After dinner maybe we can take a romantic stroll along the Thames. If I'm lucky I hope you may want to steal a kiss or at least let me steal one atop the London Eye. I'm also available to serve as a private tour guide for you & your friend on a different day. Be confident & assertive. No you should not have mentioned sex. that would have been crass & off putting. Agreed with the above. OP, it sound like she isn't making this trip specifically to see you. If she has a friend in the area, that's who she's coming to see. Meeting you is part of the trip, but not the sole purpose. Please, follow d0onivain's advice and do not send the message you'd originally drafted. It's too off-putting. I'd say if she's hardly talking to you now, she might be having second thoughts about meeting. 1
Author fred123 Posted March 25, 2016 Author Posted March 25, 2016 Absolutely not. Do not send this message. Send a message that says I'm looking forward to your trip. I know you arrive on [date]. I'd love to take you on a date out to dinner on [date]. Can your traveling companion entertain herself that night? After dinner maybe we can take a romantic stroll along the Thames. If I'm lucky I hope you may want to steal a kiss or at least let me steal one atop the London Eye. I'm also available to serve as a private tour guide for you & your friend on a different day. Be confident & assertive. No you should not have mentioned sex. that would have been crass & off putting. Its strange how she was into me at the beginning texting me all the time etc. I already have dinner booked i told her. She's knows its a romantic restaurant. I have tried to make my intentions known from the beginning by being flirty etc. We have talked about past relationships and long distance relationships and she even said she wants me to come visit her. But this was all at the beginning now she doesn't seem interested and before she used to reassure me that she really did like me and say all nice things to me and respond positively but now iodnt know what has happened.
Author fred123 Posted March 25, 2016 Author Posted March 25, 2016 Bump^ anyways i will send the message that donnivan said to do. i have under 3 weeks until she comes. i am excited
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