it will end soon

[fubu]

Im just going to say...do NOT talk about your relationship at work..I didnt read the replies so sorry if this was mentioned but you need to not mention it at all and also JOB SEARCH not because you should HAVE to leave, but ut would feel great and healing and less stress to just make a new start for YOU.

When people ask just say "its personal, Id rather not talk about it" and move on.

Great job on the dancing and planting.

Keep going, head high, chin up, job search...this too shall pass.

 

thank you. good thing is ex's contract will end on april. when we were still together, he told me he don't know yet if he will extend or not. I hope he leaves as soon as his contract ends because my contract will end on December. Long way to go.

[fubu]

We started as **** buddies until he told me that he loves me. I don't believe it at first but he started to be caring, showered me with gifts, and attention.

Later on, he broke up with me. I thought I did something wrong. He then started to flirt with other girl one day after our break up.

I tried to make things work and even seduced him to have sex with me. We did it. We promised that it will not be our last sex which is ok with me because I thought he will come back to me after this but he didn't.

I can't go completely NC because we are workmates and he is my boss. So all this time, I'm pretending to be friends with him. He constantly asking me for another **** and I'm declining it. He's asking me if I'm mad.

 

#1 Should I tell the real reason why?

 

My reason:

I just learned that he doesn't love me all along. He just chose me because I treated him good. But since I'm not the one who he chose now, I no longer wants to have sex with him anymore.

 

#2 If I'm gonna tell the reason, is this ok or should I just say, I just want a professional relationship from now on?

 

I am hesitating to tell him my real reason because:

a. it might sound that I'm asking for another chance to be his gf again

b. he might just choose me for sex again

 

#3 We had a VIP client gave me his pen for my excellent service. But since I tend to lose things, I asked my ex to keep it. He's leaving on April and he's planning to give away his things. His new girl wants the pen. I told him that I'll pay for it, just give my pen back. But he said, he's not accepting money. He'll give it if I have sex with him. I don't know what to do because it has sentimental value and it really hurts my pride that she's the one who's gonna receive it.

[Toodaloo]

Its a pen.

 

This whole thing is totally F'ed up.

 

Walk away fast. Do not contact him, have nothing to do with him at all.

[4EverHisPrincess]

Hi Fubu...I'm so sorry to hear that you have experienced this type of situation with someone that you seemed to have started to care about and have had to continue to work with for the time being. I commend you for declining his offers and not wanting to continue to have anything to do with him. There's no need to give explanations...sometimes it leaves the door open for more unnecessary conversations and persuasions to happen.

 

I know that this may sound irrelevant now, but there was a company that I got hired to work at in the past and during orientation they told us "do not get your honey where you make your money". I know it may sound funny, but I understood what they meant because it's not a good environment if things go sour and you have to continue to work with them or risk losing a job that may be a good source of income that supports your or a loved one financially.

 

The fact that you realized that the situation is not good for you is wonderful because it shows that you care about you and you're protecting your heart. It also sounds like you know that you are worth so much more and deserve so much better!

 

I understand that you are missing your pen because of the sentimental value, and do not want the next female to have it because she happens to have a connection to the whole situation, but don't allow your pride to overshadow the bigger picture. The pen is in a place that is now being used as a playing card. It doesn't sound like you're willing to give yourself to him one more time for a pen. You are definitely worth more than a pen sweetie. The pride and the sentiment is not worth the heartache that can arise should you continue to feed into the nonsense. Hold on to the memory of the recognition that was behind the reason as to why the pen was presented to you and maybe you can view this as a lesson learned and grow from this. You're making a great choice by choosing to move forward! Thank you so much for taking the time to share your thoughts and seeking advice.

[fubu]

Hi! First of all, thank you for those people in this forum who gave me advice. This is the third time I posted in this forum. I followed all of ur advice and I am proud to say that I've coping well. I can't totally go NC because he is my boss so I followed one who posted before that I should maintain a professional communication.

 

The date of his last day from work is final. He'll leave on April 7. The break up was so bad but I still want to thank him but should I?

 

To be honest, my life was a mess before he came to my life. I'm a single mom who has just broken up with the baby daddy. The baby daddy called me "fugly" and ignores my messages. I feel so low after the break up.

 

My work became affected and almost got fired. He saved me so many times and inspired me to do good at my work. Yes he is my boss but he became my good friend. He showered me with gifts and attention. I never told him that I love him but I showed him.

 

He told me that he don't mind that I'm fat because he still loves me. That on, I gained more weight but my self esteem went up. My performance at work improved and received a lot of compliments and gifts from clients and heads.

 

But this January, he broke up with me. I learned that everything was just an illusion. He traded me with a friend who is sexier and prettier. I learned from another friend who he is also flirting with while dating the current one that he never really loved me. He loved me out of pity.

 

Then, I went back again from scratch but this time, I am moving on with the help of you guys. I lost weight, from 72 to 54kg. I do not wear make up but I start to follow a routine. I discovered that I can't plant flowers but I'm doing ok with photography.

 

Now, I am also receiving the same compliments as before but this time they gave attention to my physique. I have fewer friends because I finally found who's really concern and who wants to update themselves in gossips.

 

Despite the fact that he hurted me, I want him to know how he changed my life. Yes he's a jerk, he's an *******... but for me, He's still my hero.

 

I remember when we were still together, he complained that I do not appreciate him. (I realize now that it's true. I forgot to say thank you most of the time.) He is now avoiding me since I started the professional boundaries. Should I still thank him?

Edited March 22, 2016 by fubu